


Life In 101

by schillingklaus



Category: Big Time Rush, Bucket & Skinner's Epic Adventures, Drake & Josh, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, Shredderman Rules!, True Jackson: VP, Unfabulous (TV), Victorious, Zoey 101, iCarly
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Crossover Pairings, Digressions, Don't Have to Know Canon, Minor Canonical Character(s), Multiple Crossovers, Multiple Pairings, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 14:02:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 72,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1187949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schillingklaus/pseuds/schillingklaus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before arriving at PCA, Zoey encounters mystery man Takato, She turns less naive, albeit more confused for the following years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Year

#  Chapter 1  First Year

##  1:1  Pilot

###  1:1:1  The Way To PCA

1:1

Hello, my name is Brooks ... **Zoey Brooks**!1:2

_Zoey_ derives from a Greek word with the meaning of _life_ , and the story I have to tell you is one that’s life at **Pacific Coast Academy** ,1:3 the most illustrous boarding school in the greater Los Angeles area, a school of which I was a student since my last year of middle school. 

When I started out here, it was the first year of coeducation at this school. Our landlord, **Leo Bradford** ,1:4 was perversely conservative, and he had not allowed for this step for many years, just like his father, who was even supposed to have been worse. 

My brother **Dustin Brooks** ,1:5 younger by four years, had already been a student here since his first grade, and now he was in his fourth grade. 

I was happy to be reunited with him over the whole course of the academic year, but this was of course not the one and only — not even the primary — reason why I was so happy about this step. Really, it is still not easy for me to say what had impressed me. Maybe the beach and the pools, which made me think to live in a spa rather than on the campus of a school ... but maybe I just wanted to stay with cool friends, twenty-four out of twenty-four, and seven out of seven. Although I was born in Louisiana, my family came to move to Oceanside in San Diego County already early in my life. I was thus accustomed to sandy beaches, but my school had been located in some busy street and looked certainly more like a prison than a school. 

I had begged my mom, **Sophie Brooks** ,1:6 on my knees to send me there, and I also promised to keep good care of my little brother. With hindsight, I have to say now that my worries were largely exaggerated, but back then I was not able to avoid behaving like this. 

So, now it was time for our dad **Robert Brooks**1:7 to take us in his car to my new residence. 

It was late August, and the red hot Californian sun was burning mercilessly. 

For this reason, we had drunk a lot before and during the car trip. Dustin had apparently been too busy emptying the bottles, and his bladder threatened to burst. He would not have wanted me to intervene, but I told dad to take a break and let him discharge his bladder in a regular place before he starts peeing into his pants and the back seat. 

For that avail, we stopped at some wayside restaurant. 

Dustin declared to find his own way to the toilets. “I am already big!” 

I shrugged and let him run away. Dad was up to buying some takeout food for his way home, and so I was loitering a bit outside the station. I had tried hard to avoid showing it to dad and to Dustin, but I sure was a bit nervous, as the school had been reserved for boys until now, and some of them had never seen a girl in their life. 

Suddenly, an elderly Japanese guy, whom I would later come to know as **Mr. Takato** ,1:8 appeared next to me. “Hello, you are Miss Zoey Brooks?” 

I gasped, because I had never seen that stranger before. “This is true ... but how do you know me?” 

The senile man smiled like a true Zen master. “Do you know yourself, so that you may wonder whether others know you?” 

I scratched my head. “What a stupid question, Sir! Certainly I know myself ... I have been Zoey Brooks as long as I live.” 

The stranger kept on remarking, “maybe you just guess that you know yourself.” His words made not much sense to me, right? The stranger continued, “if you are really trying to find and to know yourself, you may find me on the campus of Pacific Coast Academy, where I am a teacher for middle school classes. You say that it’s your life. But what makes you think that you live? Do you watch yourself living? Who is the one that lives, and who is the one who knows?” 

Needless to say, I did not have any answers to this question, and I did not really desire to ever find any. 

Finally, Dustin and dad were back. But where was Takato? OK, I did not care about that weirdo anyways, and I was glad that he was gone. That did not mean that I had understood what he had been talking about. I decided to keep it all to myself, hoping that I would never have to tell anyone about the weird encounter with the even weirder senile creep. 

We jumped back into the car and continued our course along the coastal roads to the dreamy beach of Malibu. 

###  1:1:2  The First Arrival

Dad halted his craft at the student drop site, an impressively huge lot. 

Due to the fact that Dustin had already discharged his burdened bladder early on our trip, the rest had been a pleasure. 

The dunes surrounding the campus — at least according to Dustin — were chock full of giant killer squirrels. 

Dustin was horribly afraid of animals of a certain size, and this had caused me already quite some headache. Everything had started when he had been bit by a little goldfish in a tank.1:9

Nevertheless, we had finally exited the car safely and alive, without being gnawed to death by a bunch of killer rodents. 

But those beasts , while never hurting me with their teeth or claws, would later on cause me some troubles of a more subtle sort. 

Dad was apparently totally excited, much more than ever before, because I was finally leaving home. Of course he had been excited three years ago, when Dustin had enrolled at Pacific Coast Academy. 

Well, back then, even mom had been weeping and screaming. But today she had not even come with us. 

So Dustin and I had to do just with dad’s help.which was of course a bit troublesome, as dad was only one adult for two kids. So I already wondered whether he would come with Dustin first, or with me. Wait, Dustin was the only one who knew where my residence hall was located: **Butler Hall**1:10

In this moment, some bushy guy in my age passed by us, riding a bicycle. Well, at least he tried to do so, but he was apparently distracted by something, and he rode straight into the next flag pole. 

I shrugged briefly, muttering silently: “Boys!” Thereupon, I walked up to the boy in order to prevent him from rotting in the dirt. 

The boy introduced himself as **Chase Matthews**.1:11 Then he wondered whether I was a new student. Well, as a girl, I had to be new. But I could have been just here in order to deliver Dustin. Well, this was not the case. 

I giggled. “Chase is such a dweeb.” 

Fortunately, Chase was willing to take me to Butler Hall, as he knew his way there very well, and he had to go the same way, anyways. 

Well, the latter was true, as I would learn later on, but many boys used to lie about this to girls in order to find a reason to accompany them — or so I had learned from bad movies. 

Dad allowed Chase to take me to my new home. This way, he was able to concentrate on getting Dustin settled. 

My brother’s luggage was fairly huge, by the way. OK, mine was not much better, was it? 

###  1:1:3  101 Butler Hall

####  1:1:3:1  Bright Pink

On our way to Butler Hall, we had passed the main library of the school: **Harry Schneider Library**.1:12

Apparently, Chase was not a really big fan of books and did not visit the library very often. 

So, this was room 101 in Butler Hall. It was supposed to be my home for, well, at least this academic year. The walls of teh room were painted in bright pink. I wondered whether this had been the case already before this year, for I was one of the first girls at Pacific Coast Academy, and pink was definitely a colour for girls. A bit later, I would come to understand that the rooms had only be hastily adapted to its new job as a dormitory hall for girls. 

The room, like most others here at our school, was designed for three students. Thence it contained three beds: Two bunks and one single. 

Chase opened the fridge and found a sandwich from the last millennium. He threw it immediately out through the window. He told me to be very careful. There were a lot of dangers awaiting me. 

I watched the campus from my room window, and I gasped when spotting Chase’s bicycle hanging from some tree not far from Butler Hall. I told Chase about that misfortune. 

Thereupon, the bushy dweeb stormed out on me in order to look for his rusty vehicle. 

I sighed deeply when I was left alone in my new room, until ... there was a scream from across the corridor. 

####  1:1:3:2  Nicole Bristow

The source of the scream was not hard to find, and I stumbled into the toilets where I spotted another female student, my new room and class mate **Nicole Bristow**.1:13

Unfortunately, Nicole, an excessively hysterical bimbo wench from Kansas, was horribly enervating, but she was my first potential friend here at Pacific Coast Academy, and I did not want to ruin that. 

The reason for her scream were the toilets here, suited for boys who pee while standing. 

Nicole wondered how boys were able to sit on those things. She was totally obsessed with boys’ stuff, although she knew next to nothing about it. 

Fortunately, I knew it better, well, that was one of the advantages of having a brother. 

Honestly, if Nicole had had a brother, he would be a total mess, because it is impossible to stay sane with a sister like her. 

We decided to return to our dormitiry room in order to get things done. 

####  1:1:3:3  Dana Cruz

Not much later were we to meet our thirds room mate. 

**Dana Cruz**1:14 was an exorbitantly rude and abrasive tomboy from California. She insisted arrogantly in picking the bottom bunk, although Nicole had already chosen it for herself. 

The intimidated wench left her bed for Dana, but it was obvious that the two of them would hardly get real friends, not in this life at least. Rather, there was going to be some trouble. 

###  1:1:4  Basketball

####  1:1:4:1  Boys’ Team

Along with Nicole, I walked the campus, and we made it across the sports fields. 

Some boys were practising basketball, a game I had learned pretty well at elementary school and in sixth and seventh grade. 

My old school did not hve a pretty strong basketball team for girls, but at least some sort of one. 

Unfortunately, this was not a given at a school where we girls were drastically outnumbered, maybe one girl for ten boys, or something like that. 

The speaker of the girls was **Logan Reese** ,1:15 the son of famous Hollywood producer **Malcolm Reese**.1:16 Logan was disgustingly arrogant and sexist. He only saw girls here as potential cheerleaders, and was adamantly opposed to letting us play basketball. 

I felt that we girls needed to prove our abilities, and I suggested a basket ball match boys vs. girls, to be scheduled until the official tryouts for this academic year. 

Logan laughed, secure in the knowledge that his team would tear ours into tiny smithereens. 

####  1:1:4:2  Building A Team

Basketball was a team sport, and so I needed to choose girls for my team. Of course, given the low number of girls, at least by ow, this was hardly an easy task. 

My first choice was of course Nicole, because I knew her best, and we were certainly going to be friends for quite some time. Alas, the bimbo girl from Kansas was not really keen on any sports, barring — if you are really willing and ready to count it as such — shopping. 

Now I had gathered the girls from Butler Hall in order to try to construct a team. 

Little wonder not many girls had ever played basketball. 

**Quinn Pensky** ,1:17 a geeky girl from Seattle, reported that she had once been able to blow up a basketball, using chemicals. She was apparently totally interested in physics, chemistry, and other experimental sciences, as we would experience excessively, just a bit later on. 

Dana declared that we were fools, and that she was not willing to play in a team that was just embarrassing, and that in front of boys. 

I guessed that this meant “No!” In the end, I had gathered six girls, one more than absolutely necessary for a team, and these included Quinn and Nicole. It was easy to guess that this was not a gang of superheroes or powerbots. 

####  1:1:4:3  Before The Match

Already the practice for the match had confirmed what we all had expected: 

Our girls’ team was a total joke and a laugh, and there was no way to avoid getting torn apart by a bunch of hungry guys. 

Dustin wanted to watch me play, but he was afraid of being treated by the other guys as a traitor for cheering for the girls’ team. 

The referee of the basketball match was going to be **Coach Ferguson**.1:18

The boys’ team included not only Logan Reese, but also Chase Matthews. 

The two of them had already been room mates for two years, along with afro american blues flautist **Michael Barret**.1:19

####  1:1:4:4  Fighting With Myself

It was pretty much obvious that I was the only girl able to play the game, while the boys’ team had been training together for the last few years already, well, at least some of them, such as Michael, Chase, and Logan. 

There was no chance for us, but for me at least it was not about winning, but to show the boys that we were their peers, if only we were given a chance. 

So, while the boys scored more consistently, and while my team mates knocked themselves out, I was able to demonstrate some good moves, even against aggressively guarding Logan Reese. 

Finally, the perverted dandy was envious of my abilities, and he punched me rudely into the dirt. 

So, here I was lying flat on the ground, and I felt some slightly bleeding wounds. 

In this case, the referee was supposed to take me out of the match, which, of course, would break us girls even more and make the result reach astronomical dimensions. 

I felt slightly dizzy, almost like forgetting myself. But in this moment, I had to remember the words of Mr. Takato: 

“Do you know who you really are, or do you just think that you do?” 

In the latter case, it was impossible to forget myself. But Takato was an old weirdo. 

By the way, I had not yet seen him once again since my arrival on the campus. But what was that? 

The senile wise man was standing somewhere in the audience, smiling in an outrageously weird manner, probably just as a true Zen master was supposed to. Takato growled: “You need to fight with yourself in order to defeat who you are not, and let him who you are win!” 

I panted heavily. Then I growled: “Takato?” 

Alas, the old weirdo was gone. Had he been but a hallucination? 

I needed to take some time out in order to find an answer. 

So, for me at least the game was over, and I was sent to the infirmary. 

####  1:1:4:5  On The Way Out

Chase guided me to the infirmary, because I was not yet aware of its location, and because the coach was worried, not believing that I was still able to make it there on my own. 

Dustin joined us. “Oh no, sis! This Reese guy will pay for this. Honest!” 

I was not really convinced that violence was the real solution. But, in the end, I was not willing to stop Dustin. After all, I was too confused to say anything. I just wondered:

> Have you seen the elderly Japanese guy in the audience? 
> 
> He calls himself Mr. Takato, and he claims to be a middle school teacher.

Both Dustin and Chase shook their heads. Neither had they seen the Zen master, nor had they ever heard about such a guy here at Pacific Coast Academy. 

Of course there was the possibility that Takato was a new teacher, but, hey, he looked all grey and outworn, not like a neophyte teacher of twenty-five years, but, quite the contrary, like someone who should already have retired. 

So, maybe that was the solution — Takato was already out of service, and that’s why Chase and Dustin, who had been here for a few years only, had never come to hear of him. 

But this did not explain why I was the only one to have seen Takato in the audience, knowing him or not. 

Unfortunately, the nurse here at Pacific Coast Academy was a horrible beast, and I would come and feel this soon. 

###  1:1:5  End Of A Dream

The day was over, and I was returning to my dormitory room, 101 Butler Hall. 

Chase and Dustin had been completely right about the nurse, she was worse than ten thousand devils from hell, and the needle of that syringe ... no I do not want to talk about it, period! 

The wounds on my skin still ached a bit, but not as much as my brain. 

“Am I really turning crazy?” Or so did I have to ask myself after having seen Takato again, a person no one else here on the campus had ever seen or heard of, well, at least none of the few kids that I had hitherto encountered. 

After all, there was still so much left for me to explore. 

Nicole was still excited, asking me what I had done in the infirmary. 

According to Dana, only weaklings ever complained about pain, and she was not a weakling. 

Honestly, I would have ignored the pains, if I had not been confused by Takato’s words. 

By the way, Dana had taken over the match for the girls’ team, and she had been fairly well. But she did not want to join the basketball team, anyways, because she wanted actually to become a cheerleader, and she was not willing to be the only girl in some all boys team. “This would be so icky!” 

“Am I the only girl here that is not content with being a screaming fangirl?” Or so I started asking myself. “Why do I start asking those questions? Am I just another kind of girl?” I sighed deeply, because I felt that asking this kind of stuff was getting me terribly close to turning insane. 

##  1:2  My first months

###  1:2:1  Quinnventions

####  1:2:1:1  Broken Dustin

Unfortunately, Dustin was not very careful with his money. For example, he spent a lot of bucks just for candies of varies sorts. His favourites were probably gummy worms. Little wonder, he was out of money pretty fast, and then he came to me in order to beg for a few more. 

But I was not the bank of England, and I had to be careful with my money as well. 

Dustin also tried to beg some bucks off Chase, but to no avail, as the bushy dweeb was not exactly an oil billionary, either. 

I could not help telling Dustin to go and earn his own bucks for once. Unfortunately, that was a very stupid idea: There were strict rules on the campus against child labour. Kids in Dustin’s age were not yet allowed to work in the shops or pubs on the campus, such as **Sushi Rocks** ,1:20 a totally popular Japanese restaurant run by one **Kazu Park**.1:21

Unfortunately, those who would give Dustion some sort of a job were only ruthless jerks, such as aforementioned Logan Reese. 

Another option for Dustin, which he would discover soon enough, was serving as a test object for mad scientists, such as aforementioned Quinn Pensky, whom I was no going to get to know a bit better. 

But until discovering these possibilities, Dustin tried other ways to make a few bucks, and none of them seemed to work. First, he imagined that, after watching some dumb Mexican soap opera, he was able to tutor middle school kids in Spanish. Of course, things did not really work like that. 

Dustin’s first victim was one **Mark Del Figgalo** ,1:22 the dork of dorks here at Pacific Coast Academy. 

But Dustin taught him just to repeat the same short sentence over and over again, annoying even Mark to no end. Finally, he had to pay him back the bucks that he had sacked already in advance. His next idea was that of borrowing someone’s guitar and play some songs on the campus, hoping that bypassing students would throw something into his hat. 

But this idea was not that good, either, because many students just made fun of this and threw something stupid into the hat, or, rather, the guitar case, such as chewed chunks of bubble gums. 

####  1:2:1:2  Trading Rooms

#####  1:2:1:2:1  The Geek Girl Next Door

At breakfast, Quinn Pensky came over to mine and Chase’s table. Unlike most other kids, she was residing all alone in her dormitory room. 

I wondered whether this was a problem of the administration. Sometimes, students are unenrolled in the last moment before the start of the academic year, and then of course the school is left with empty spots in the dormitory room. 

OK, before thinking aboyt this, it was now time for breakfast. 

Quinn started fumbling the foods on her own and on our plates, explaining that she was sensing the emotions of the food, a thewory she was working on. 

It would turn out during the following days, weeks, months, and years that she was indeed working on a fairly huge amount of weird ideas. 

Michael Barret, aforementioned room mate of Chase Matthews and Logan Reese, was totally enervated by Quinn’s not so usual attitude. 

Done with eating, I suggested moving in with Quinn, so she would no longer feel as lonely as she was now. 

Of course there was also another reason for me to do something like that. 

My dear room mates Nicole Bristow and Dana Cruz were fighting all the time, and I was often enough standing lost in the crossfire. 

Dana was not only rude, but also careless, and she slept until five minutes to eight when classes started at eight o’ clock. 

Nicole was totally obsessed with her hair. She was probably becoming a great hairdresser or other kind of beautician. But she used a very noisy electric fan. 

Both of them rebuked me for occasionally forgetting my room key. Whenever such a mishap occurred, Dana or Nicole were forced to open the door for me, which annoyed both of them to no end. 

While it was impossible to lock yourself into the dormitory room, the doors automatically locked themselves to people standing on the outside when they were closed, even without using a key. This was terrible. 

Only a bit later, I would learn to make some kind of locket with my room key, making it much harder to simply forget it in my dormitory room. 

So, now I decided to leave my roomies behind and force them to sort it out among themselves. 

Quinn let me gladly move into her dormitory room. 

But I did not know that I was just moving from the frying pan into the kettle of boiling water. 

#####  1:2:1:2:2  Secret Laboratory

So, this was room 102, the home of no other than Quinn Pensky, and now my new home. But what was that? It looked like a scientific laboratory, containing lots of test tubes and other ... er ... things? 

Quinn explained: “These are quinnventions!” 

I coughed “what?” 

Quinn continued, “I invent things, and as my name is Quinn, I call them **quinnventions**. How is that hard to understand?” 

I shrugged carelessly. Sooner or ater, I would see whether her inventions, sorry, _Quinnventions_ , were cool or not so cool. But I was not really feeling at ease. 

#####  1:2:1:2:3  Nightmare

I had tried hard to fall asleep, although this was not easy in a room full of those, sorry, scientific projects and quinnventions. And somehow, I must have managed to fall and stay asleep, until ... 

Ouch! something must have woken me up, in the middle of the night. 

I fumbled my head, and I felt gazillions of wires stuck in my head. I could not help screamimg as Nicole had done in the moment when she discovered the boys’s urinals in the toilets. 

The lights went on, probably operated by Quinn who must have been awoken by my screams. 

The geek girl from Seattle complained, “Hey, what are you doing in the middle of the night? Some people try to sleep!” 

I looked totally aghast. Now I noticed that all those wires were connected to some machine that Quinn must have connected somehow to my head, using all those wires. 

Quinn explained, “This apparatus measures your sleep and controls your dreams. Ah, you seem to have had some sort of a nightmare. I have to analyse this in detail.” 

I glared at her. “I’ve got a nightmare right now!” Then I told her to remove all those wires on site, allowing me to fall sleep. 

#####  1:2:1:2:4  Weird Morning

I woke up again, and this time, it was really in the morning light, and there were no wires and stuff stuck in my head, not even elsewhere. I would not have wondered if she had now attached electrodes to other parts of my body instead, such as hands or feet, or whatever a sick brain like Quinn’s was able to imagine. 

Quinn was already on her feet, and she had just opened the window for her morning exercises. She picked some jumping rope and started practising. “This is good for my brain. All the little jumps make iot vibrate. And this allows me to think faster and more reliable. Do you want to try it too?” 

I shook my head. “I have got gym classes today, so I better wait until then.” 

Quinn shrugged. “OK, as you wish. How do you want eggs for breakfast?” 

I shrugged. “Maybe?” 

It turned out that Quinn was keeping her own chicken in her dormitory room, although keeping pets in our dorm or elsewhere on the campus was strictly illegal. 

I decided to skip breakfast. 

Quinn sighed. 

Fortunately I was gone before Quinn could talk about lunch or dinner. 

#####  1:2:1:2:5  Little Support

Talking to Chase Matthews was not really helpful, either. 

The bushy dork made up a new word in order to describe my nerdy room mate: _quinnsane_

OK, he was a dweeb, but he was probably not wrong on this subject. 

During the following hours, I had to watch Quinn dissolva a whole steak in acid, and other dangerous thing going on in her laboratory, which was our dormitory room. 

Why did Quinn not use the school laboratory for her experiments? Most great schools had got a science club, but what aboit Pacific Coast Academy? 

Only much later would I learn that the school’s science club locked out girls, just as the basketball team. The driving force behind this stupid rule was a certain **Wayne Gilbert** alias **Fire Wire**.1:23

Dana and Nicole seemed to have overcome their problems, for some odd reason, although it was not plausible for me how this was possible. 

In any case, Chase wanted me to stay in Quinn’s room at least until the weekend, after a movie in the campus theatre that we wanted to watch together. He told me that it was rude to let Quinn alone, as nobody else would dare to bother with her. 

####  1:2:1:3  Desperate

#####  1:2:1:3:1  Again Takato

I had already started to wonder whether this was all but a big conspiration, just in order to get rid of me. 

Everything had started with the appearance of Mr. Takato. Then Logan had pushed me into the dirt. Then I had seen the weird old creep again, and nobody wanted to believe me. Then Nicole and Dana had pushed me forth and back in a row. Then Quinn had attached wires to my head. 

So, what was going on? Was I hallucinating in some way? Who was hallucinating? Who was asking those questions? Oh no! This sounded almost as if I had started asking myself questions of the same sort that Takato had asked me upon our first encounter, or maybe it was just an illusionary encounter, as there was still no such thing as a proof for the existence of Takato, barring in my hallucinations, was there? 

I was strolling the campus square, and suddenly I ran once more into no other than: Mr. Takato! ... I was totally consternated. Whenever I was in a state of confusion, the weird senile creep happened to show up and tell me some incomprehensible stuff, making me feeled even more confused. That was something known to people with Quinn’s mind as a **circulus vitiosis**. 

So, what did the Japanese weirdo have to tell me this time? I wanted to get done with it as soon as possible, in order to decide whether I was just hallucinating or whether they were really our for me, whoever _They_ referred to. 

Takato started talking. “Nobody is out for you but yourself.” 

Thanks! That was enough. I was certainly either paranoid or even worse, and it was not possible for me to handle it any longer on my own. But letting Quinn, Lola, Dana, Chase, Michael, or Logan know about it was certainly not an option. This was especially the case for Dana and Logan, who would have made fun of me or hurt me directly in the case of knowing about my paranoia. Quinn would have started to see in me an object for her neurological researches, and started torturing me more and more, in a more subtle manner, though. Or maybe that was just my paranoid hallucination. Nicole, Chase, and Michael would probably not have hurt me on purpose, but they were likely to let slip one or the other hint on accident. Dustin was another person that I was better not talking to about the whole mess, as he was probsbly up to informing mom and dad about it, and they would have started worrying seriously, which they should not have had to. 

#####  1:2:1:3:2  Looking For Help

OK, each school had got a school psychofreak, or whatever that was called, right? 

So, I was now trying to look for one of those guys here at Pacific Coast Academy. Unfortunately, I was not able to ask Chase or any other of my peers about one, for the aforementioned reasons, and I had to find my own way. 

The general directory of the school did not point to anything like a school shrink. And this lack was clearly against the rules. Wasn’t there any way to complain against these rules? Or was this part of my hallucination, paranoid or what not? I decided to ask the administration, but implicitely. 

#####  1:2:1:3:3  Anger Management

One day later, I walked into the school’s administration — without prior notification. 

Secretary **Beverly Brown**1:24 was letting me in, although she had never met me before. And she also remarked that it was not usual to let pupils in without prior notification. 

So what? Now I was there, and I was not going to leave again before ... well, I asked: “Yesterday, a few middle school guys got all angry and started wreaking havoc in the gym halls. Isn’t there some anger manager responsible for those cases?” 

Beverly sighed deeply. “Sorry, I know there should be a school shrink for those cases. But, unfortunately, **Carl Rivers** ,1:25 our headmaster, had thought that we could save the bucks for a psychologian. Thus we have to send kids like those to external anger managers.” She moaned. “So ... do you want to file a formal complaint against particular pupils?” 

I shook my heads. “It wasn’t that bad, and it was apparently some fight among boys. But with us girls at this school, ... boys often screw up completely when they try to impress girls and so on.” I sighed deeply. “So at a coeducative boarding school, there should definitely be a firmly employed school shrink, or whatever that is called officially.” 

Beverly nodded. “That’s a great argument. I will tell Dean Rivers as soon as only possible.” She growled silently: “The boss is unusually late today ... it is rumoured that there are problems in his marriage, and that the Rivers are considering psychological consultation for couples.” She started sweating. “Just rumours, though ... and I have not told you anything about it, right?” 

I choked. “Oh, sure, not a single syllable!” 

Beverly nodded solemnly. “Have a nice day!” 

I waved unto the secretary right before bounding out. I hoped that there would be done something. 

#####  1:2:1:3:4  Home Sweet Home

After all, I was finally back to 101 Butler Hall, right with Nicole and Dana. I had even bound my room key to a necklace, making it almost impossible to forget it in my room. 

Also, Quinn had just completed one of her inventions, a **silent leaf blower** , which was somehow the contrary of a vacuum cleaner. 

Quinn had definitely thrown me out of her dormitory, although she did not phrase it exactly like that. “It is better for our friendship if you move back to Dana and Nicole” Really, she was upset because I did not like getting wired over night. Or was that just one of my illusions? A school psycho freak would probably soon help me to find out. 

The leaf blower was also usable as an electric fan, and a really silent one indeed. 

For this reason, Nicole was now able to style her hair in an attractive fashion, which meant in a way making boys like her, without triggering Dana’s insatiable wrath. 

Well, maybe it was rather Dana who needed the school shrink for her fits of anger, or Nicole for her obsession with boy stuff, or Quinn for her quality as a mad scientist? 

There was no way to say that such a person was not needed over here, or was that just part of my hallucination, or even part of myself to think so? 

Enough of this for now! 

Nicole activated her old radio, and we listened to some oldies before getting ready for cinema. They would show a movie made by Malcolm Reese, starring Hollywood’s celebrated kid prodigy **Ashley Blake**.1:26

So, these kinds of troubles seemed to have gione by, but a new host of chaos and turmoil was just about coming up. 

###  1:2:2  Evil Plush Bear

####  1:2:2:1  Confess Or Stress

We kids spend a lot of time outside classes in our lounges. There were several of them on the campus, assigned to each gender and group of grades. Our lounge was mostly visited by middle school girls. 

In the evening hours, most of us kids were very hungry, and as we did not want to leave the lounge for supper, we used the possibility of ordering food from the campus pub. Our favourite used to be sushi from Kazu’s aforementioned Japanese pub. 

Kazu employed a few delivery kids for that ourpose, and one of those was no other than aforementioned dandy Logan Reese. 

If I had not been distracted by so many other things, and if I had not been so inexperienced, I would have noticed that Logan Reese was in need of a job at all in order to make some bucks, quite the contrary, he was someone to employ other kids for his daily errands, including, for example, my own little brother. But I utterly failed to realise that Logan’s work for Kazu must have served some diabolic purpose. 

Our favourite game to play was **Confess Or Stress** :1:27 We took turns casting dice, and, depending on the score, we needed to either confess something embarrassing or to commit some unpleasant task determined by our pals. 

Nicole, Dana, and Quinn were ready to play with me. 

In this moment, Chase and Logan walked in. Chase was carrying a big blush bear, and a stack of packaged sushi, probably our orders. Typically, Logan had forced Chase to do all his dirt work, which, in turn, was exactly what we should have expected from that annoying sheik. Logan also explained that the plush bear was a gift for our lounge, in order to make up for his recent rudeness towards us girls. 

As this did make a lot of sense, we believed his explanations, and then we let him go again. It was now our turn to enjoy our sushi meals, along with confessing our embarrassing past, and pulling some equally embarrassing stunts. 

For example, I had to call **Callahan** ,1:28 our teacher fro English, and pull a phone prank on him. Fortunately, I did not have to confess to having seen someone who does not exist and to being on and off close to a nervous breakdown. 

Nicole admitted to making a list of boys with the best lips. 

Quinn admitted to having got a sixth toe on her right foot. 

And on and on and on it went ... 

####  1:2:2:2  Leaking Informations

Alas, the following evening was horrible for us girls. 

Although there had been no boys present when we girls had played our _Confess Or Stress_ , some of them appeared to be very well informed about what had been going on in the lounge, incuding some of the secrets we had confessed the evening before, and the embarrassing deeds we had committed in the framework of the same game. Needless to say, the guys made a lort of fun of us. 

At the same time, Logan was sick, leaving the whole delivery job up to Chase. 

The bushy dork wept and moaned upon the immense burden. The campus was huge, and cerossing it proved a tough challenge for him. In addition, some of the customers appeared clearly crazy, such as some freak with a goat eating sushi. 

But this was nothing compared to the mental pains I had to go through. We girls started to accuse each other, including me, of having deliberately broken our oath of not telling any of the boys about any secret revealed in our game of Confess Or Stress. And this added smoothly to my feelings of being observed and prosecuted by all sorts of mishaps, and of course the ferequent appearance of mystery man Takato, unbeknownst and unnoticed by everyone but me. 

####  1:2:2:3  All Alone

Hanging out with the other girls in the lounge of our residence block was way too much for me to bear under that pressure, and I fled top the dunes. 

The wind was blowing gently seaward, and it was fairly calm around dusk out here around dusk. 

I wondered why everything was about going against me: The basketball match, the irreconcilable dormitory room mates, the forgotten keys, the wires in my head, the leaking secrets ... you name it. 

I still had to wonder whether I was growing just more and more paranoid, and who I was to think like that. I had applied for help, but the school had not yet found a soul coach for us kids. 

More precisely, there were now two canditates: **Marty Klemish** ,1:29 the local community anger management counsellor — and **Leonard Lowe** ,1:30 the school shrink of nearby **James K. Polk**1:31 in Santa Clarita, but really a jack of all trades. 

Ouch, I should have seen that coming. While I was staring down at the sand between my feet, the smiling and grinning face of the sage from the far east, Takato, must have arrived, and it was now hovering above me. And, of course, the weird stranger was not going to disappear before having said some equally weird words of — or so some people who are into hollow eastern rhetorics — wisdom. “Use the source, Zoey!” 

I glared at the gentle waves of the mighty Pacific, and the sun that appeared thereupon like a giant tangerine squeezing the last juice out of itself. “What is this supposed to mean?” I asked in the likenss of an annoying bimbo wench of the sort of Nicole Bristow. 

But, just as usual, the face of Takato was gone. 

The more I wondered about the situation, the more I threatened to become like Takato, with the one difference that he did not exist, or, wait, did I? Hell, that was going worse and worse. I decided to return to the campus square. 

####  1:2:2:4  The Solution

So, now I was back with the other girls, in order to use the _source_ — whatever that was supposed to mean. 

According to Nicole, the whole troublesome crap had gone on and on for many an hour. The boys knew what had happened in the girls’ lounge, somehow. 

But finally, Quinn discovered a hidden microchip with the help of something I don’t understand — although I admire the word — in the plush bear, the one that Logan and Chase had brought unto us. 

I banged my head against a wall. 

Nicole sighed, “Don’t worry, Dana went over to the boys’ rooms, and she is now telling them her opinion. I hope that she doesn’t scratch Logan while doing so. He is so cute, and he would be a bit less cute after Dana treated him in the way she has just announced to. A whole lot less cute!” 

Oh no, did this mean that Dana was up to beating the living daylights out of the boys? 

Oh well, they certainly deserved the lesson, and I did not care any less about Logan’s cuteness: “Logan is a jerk, has always been, and will always be!” 

####  1:2:2:5  The Hard Way

Indeed, the next morning it was evident that the boys had learned some lesson the hard way. Their faces were all covered with Dana’s fist prints. 

I had to hope that not all conflicts at Pacific Coast Academy would be decided in such a manner. 

Nicole sighed deeply, but — according to Dana — parasitic herbs like Logan Reese never died out. 

Nicole insisted, “But Logan is a **cute** jerk.” 

Summing it up. Logan had accepted the job at Kazu’s only in order to be able to hurt us girls by showing up and installing the spy bear in our lounge. He was now fired by Kazu, but that was of course nothing that could really hurt him who did not need the money for the job. 

At least Chase turned out as innocent. He had just been abused by Logan, and he had been forced to do so many extra work beciause of Logan’s feigned disease. 

Michael’s situation was a bit trickier, but I hoped that he had just been spoiled by Logan’s excessively bad company. 

There was one important question left: 

Logan Reese was not a tech freak, and he did not know about how to deploy a wireless connection. There must have been some henchman able to do so, with at least Quinn’s skills and knowledge in electronics, which was certainly quite a lot. Well, Logan was most definitely able to afford to hire just anyone for such a skill set. 

I wondered what would happen if Dana ever got to get hold of that nerd. 

Oh, Logan even seemed to have enjoyed the brute treatment he had received from my tomboyish room mate, he even rhapsodised about it. Logan was such a sadomasochist pervert. 

##  1:3  Troubles With Boys

###  1:3:1  The Stained Monument

1:32

####  1:3:1:1  Morning Surprise

#####  1:3:1:1:1  Nicole In My Bed

We had gone asleep in time, and we were now ready to wake up. 

Unfortunately, I was not really alone in my bed, as Nicole had snuck in during the night. 

My bimbo friend had used to do something similar to her mom during the years before our life at Pacific Coast Academy, at least whenever she had been awakened during the course of the night, especially by storms or by lightening. 

Tonight, the weather had been calm. So it was not really evident what had scared Nicole. Maybe I was not the only one here in 101 Butler Hall who had started turning paranoid during the last few weeks. 

But there were noises on the corridor, and we wanted to know what was going on. 

According to the statements made by some of the girls, the walls of our dormitory all were all covered with more or less used toilet papers. And it did not take a lot of efforts for us to verify this statement by taking a look at our wall. 

So, did my hallucination of paranoia just keep on plaguing me? It definitely looked like that. And, according to my previous experiences, Takato was probably not very far, either, wasn’t he? 

#####  1:3:1:1:2  The Culprits

We started riddling about the originators of this evil prank, but we did not have to look very far. 

Indeed, Logan, Chase, and Michael had no qualms at all to admit to being behind the onslaught on our residence hall. 

I imagined that Logan was the main rascal behind the whole mission, and that he had abused his pals shameless for this deed. 

The spoiled jerk had probably also paid Michael and Chase in order to assume responsability for the whole evil project. 

According to the boys, there was a very old tradition at Pacific Coast Academy, according to which the established students at our school were supposed to pull naughty pranks on the new ones, around this time of the year, without retaliation. 

The boys told us about the pranks they had suffered from while new at Pacific Coast Academy. 

Michael, for example, had been hunted in one of the pools by what looked like a shark, but was just an immitation of a shark fin. 

As all girls were new at this school, this meant that those evil boys were targeting us as a group with their perverted pranks. But, hey! Not with us! 

####  1:3:1:2  Plans Of Retaliation

#####  1:3:1:2:1  Quinn’s Ideas

Usually, I would not have wanted to avenge the evil deeds of the guys, but having been stressed to no end by my fits of paranoia, I decided to take a different turn altogether. For that reason, I had gathered the girls of Butler Hall for a reunion in order to forge our plans of revenge. 

Quinn suggested to remove the guys’ kidneys surgically, a totally diabolic plan indeed. 

I decided that this was going too far, and I wondered why Quinn was thinking about being able to perform surgeries. 

Indeed, my geeky girl next door was equipped with a junior license to do so.1:33 What I did not know back them, but would come to here later, was the fact that the responsible medic she had got her license from was no other than dad’s monozygotic twin brother **Dr. Glazer** ,1:34 a windy guy who was feared for ripping off his patients. This fact would be known to me only later, and, right now, it would have embarrassed me to absolutely no end. 

But I had already been disgusted by Dana’s brute force method of dealing with the guys when they had been convicted of bugging our lounge with a hidden webcam. 

Quinn came up with a second idea. She wanted to build a sort of bomb that emitted ultrasonic waves disabling temporarily the brains of men, and hide it in the boys’ dormitory room. Although there was no such thing as of yet, Quinn promised to work on it. 

Alas, even this was not subtle enough for my taste. 

#####  1:3:1:2:2  An Old Statue

As the boys had done something to our dormitory hall, I figured that it was best to do something equally subtle to theirs. 

We circumambulated their residence block, and we spotted a sculpture of some probably very important man unbeknownst to us standing at the entrance of our target building. 

As we would be informed much later, it was the monument of **Mr. Bradford** ,1:35 no less than the founder of our boarding school. 

My idea was that of dressing him like a cheap woman, and most of the girls agreed wholeheartedly, barring Quinn Pensky who insisted in carrying out her own plan, inventing a bomb that neutralised the cerebral activities of the boys for a few hours or so. 

So, how to dress the old brass monument? 

Nicole was up to stealing the bra of **Coco Wexler** ,1:36 the girls’ dormitory adviser. 

The chubby woman’s cup size was at least D, which was necessary because of the size of the sculpture. 

A bit of colour and fake costumes that I had to design hastily were probably going to work like a charm. 

####  1:3:1:3  Little Amused

The next day, the ornated sculpture adorned the area in front of teh main entrance of the building hosting the dormitory rooms of guys like Logan Reese, Michael Barret, and Chase Matthews. 

The first boys had already admired the big masterpiece of the collaboration of us girls. 

We female middle school students grinned mischievously when more and more guys noticed our revenge. 

Unfortunately, there was something going on behind our packs that did not exactly look like a lot of amusement. 

Dean Rivers and a senile man approached. And this stranger was no other than our very landlord: Leo Bradford! 

The monument depicted his father, our foundation father. 

Our overlord did not make the impression of being someone who was fairly kind and forgiving easily. 

My grin disappeared as quickly from my face as it had come when seeing the first boys noticing the shame in front of their dormitory hall. 

Leo Bradford thundered at the top of his lungs, announcing the worst punishments for the culprits. 

What was I supposed to do now? Probably nothing as long as all students kept their mouths shut about the prank action. But there was littlwe doubt that this was nothing but a windy hiope. Once more, I doubted my own sanity. I must have been driven paranoid during the first weeks of my life here at Pacific Coast Academy, as evidenced by so many events leading right up to this point. And everything had started with my first hallucination of Takato, right before the start of the academic year. And of course I did not want to admit to having those hallucinations, or to get caught with them. 

Just like the hero of _Telltale Heart_ , one of the greatest short stories ever by no other than immortal Edgar Allan Poe, there was no way for me to avoid admitting to my shameful deed without appearing the insanely paranoid person that I probably was. 

I raised my hand. “Me ... me ... me ... it was all me. I have polluted the memory of your dad with my own hands, and all alone.” 

Of course, good old Leo Bradford did not exactly cheer and congratulate me for a praiseworthy deed. “Who are you? How did you dare to?” 

I stammered, trying to explain the prank week, but there was no use for this futile attempt. 

Mr. Bradford announced the inevitable: “Mrs. Brooks, you are expelled ... for good!” 

I sighed deeply. 

Dean Rivers choked. “I don’t think this is a wise choice, the Brooks are a traditional Stingray family.” 

The **stingray** was the animal adorning the crest of Pacific Coast Academy. 

Bradford insisted in being the overlord at this school, and he could do whatever he wanted to, no exception. “I should expunge all girls from here, for nothing works any more since the start of our coeducational era.” 

I already saw my life go completely down the drain, but at least there was some hope of getting away from all the things that had made me go crazy during the last weeks, on top of all, of course, Mr. Takato. 

And naming the devil was calling for it ... all of a sudden, Takato appeared sitting on top of the monument. 

I gasped, as I was probably the only one seeing him up there, and I was not willing to admit to this again. 

The senile wise man declared: “Zoey Brooks, you may run from everything but youreself!” 

I looked all consternated, wondering wqhat he meant with these words. But, hey, why did I care about anything that was just my illusion? 

Rivers sighed. “Many students are just a bit confused today. I have already contacted a new school shrink, Leonard Lowe, in order to take care of our stressed kids.” 

Bradford panted heavily. “OK, we did not have a shrink in ages, but there is a law that we need one. Unfortunately, the whole coeducation crap causes more troubles that its’s worth, but the main sponsors, especially Schneider’s Bakery,1:37 don’t want to understand it. Add twenty thousand bucks to the offered annual salary, and I expect those problems to go away within one year. If not, Rivers, I will look for another dean for this school. Are my words clear enough?” 

Our headmaster nodded hastily. “I think they have been, Sir!” 

Bradford growled: “You think? Hey, you are paid for doing something, and not for just thinking!” 

Rivers coughed. “Yes, Sir!” 

Bradford comncluded: “So, the other girls may stay, but Brooks is still banend. But before she leaves, she had to apologise unto everyone for the shameful deed of staining the honour of ...” 

In this moment, some strange ball shaped thing came flying from our dormitory window. It was hard for me to tell about the identity of the object, but it looked pretty much like a bomb. And then the flying object hot the monument of our foundation father, and it started ticking like a bomb ... louder and louder. 

Panic spread among us kids and the other people on our campus. 

The sculpture started stumbling and falling ... almost exactly at Bradford, who was still talking furiously about the lost virtues his father had been fighting for when founding Pacific Coast Academy. 

I took breath, lunged forward, and pulled the old lord away from the spot he was standing on, and which would in an instant be covered with debris and trash. 

Bradford looked really consernated. “What the ... you again Brooks!” 

Dean Rivers walked up to us, helping Bradford back to mhis feet. “Sir, it looks as if Ms. Brooks had just saved your life. Do you still think an expulsion ...” 

Bradford stammered: “Expulsion? Hey, if anyone needs to be expelled it is the criminal responsible for the destruction of ...” 

Some inner voice told me that it was Quinn’s work. She had been trying to invent the sonic bomb that neutralised the boys’ nerves. 

Well, this quinnvention did have some nasty side effects — or so much was sure in my eyes. 

OK, my butt was saved for the time being, but I did not want Quinn to get expelled either. She had probably just hit the sculpture on purpose, and she had not expected that the bomb had got any devastating effect on inanimate objects. 

But Bradford was impossible to calm down, and he requested the culprit to be sought and punished on site. “Deportation to Siberia is the minimum!” 

Dean Rivers coughed. He was now urged to find the culprit, fast and at any cost. “Maybe this was not all that bad.” 

The overlord glared at the dean. 

Rivers explained: “Your father deserves a much better sculpture, not just a brass monument here in the shadow of this hall hosting boys not worthy of his shadow.” 

Bradford growled: “Indeed! I expect you to come up with a decent sculpture, worthy of my father, and in an appropriate place here on the campus!” 

Rivers stammered: “Yes, Sir!” He had to wipe some sweat off his forehead, as he was secure in the knowledge that a lot of work was awaiting him and our whole school, and that Bradford would not wait forever. 

####  1:3:1:4  A New Monument

Of course there was no way for a new monument to grow from the ground over night and look exactly the way Bradford wanted it to look like in order to deem it worthy of depicting his father. We needed to find a decent sculptor, able to project and build a worthy and impressive sculpture within as little time as only possible. But great artists were few and far between, and especially really expensive. 

If I had to choose someone freely, I would have decided in favour of **Harold Joiner** ,1:38 the greatest contemporary pop artist. 

We had to do some research, and there was only one available artist willing to apply for a job like that of restoring the monument of Bradford: This was **Spencer Shay** ,1:39 some law school dropout from Seattle in the state of Washington — definitely not a man to the liking of Dean Rivers, although he remembered that Spencer’s grandfather was an alumnus of Pacific Coast Academy. 

Unfortunately, nobody else seemed to apply for the job. 

Our dean moaned: “How am I supposed to tell Bradford that we hired a law school dropout of the windy sort ...” 

###  1:3:2  Not Just A Scooter

####  1:3:2:1  Too late For Classes

#####  1:3:2:1:1  Overslept

Unfortunately, Dana’s messy attuitude of sleeping until five minutes to eight had been totally contagious. 

For that reason, even Nicole and I had started to wait until the last mminute, with the consequence of being too late for our first classes in the morning. 

Nicole was not even able to make it safely out of her top bunk, but she had to drop and slump to the floor. 

According to Dana, this meant that it was raining boneheads, or something like that. 

Today, it was particularly annoying, because we had already been several times late of the classes of **Mr. Bender** ,1:40 our favourite teacher. And this would mean a very bad mark because of a bad presence record, and that in classes as cool as modern media, a speciallity here at Pacific Coast Academy offered of course due to the vicinity of Hollywood. We really had to hurry up and change into our clothes. 

Without me, Nicole would probably have made it to our classes in her pyjamas, which would have been totally scary and embarrassing. 

#####  1:3:2:1:2  Beating The Teacher To The Classes

OK, it was probably inevitable to be too late to classes, but there was at least the vague hope for Mr. Bender being late as well, even later than us, so he would not notice our own delay. 

In order to make this scenario more likely, I decided to take my mobile phone and call Chase Matthews, telling him in order to do something in order to trip up the teacher. “Start a fight with Michael in front of his nose, then he will have to intervene and stop you, allowing me, Nicole, and Dana to slip in.” 

Chase appeared to have obeyed perfectly, for we were now actually able to sneak past Bender and make it before him to the classroom, making it impossible for him to convict us. 

####  1:3:2:2  Project Jet-X

One of the most important topics in our classes taught by Mr.  Bender were publicity and advertisements. 

For this reason, he had organised the visit of one of his old pals, **Jake Savage** ,1:41 a leading employee of **Qualitech** , yet another important sponsor of our school. 

Qualitech marketed a variety of products, but one of them was brought by Jake right to the centre of our attention. This was a scooter named **Jet-X** , and it looked really cool, great enough to be a _must have_ for most of us teenage kids, especially here on the campus of Pacific Coast Academy. The distance from our dormitory hall to our morning classes was a challenge for us whenever we had to walk the distance, but it was a joke for a scooter. 

Mr. Savage was allergic to calling the new Jet-X _just a scooter_. This vehicle was not yet for sale, but Qualitech wanted to start a campaign already. According to Savage, only we teenagers would be able to market products designed for teenagers in an appropriate manner. 

And thus Bender made it a class project: 

We, the students of his classes, were supposed to produce a promotional clip for the Jet-X. For this reason, we were made to split up into teams of up to three kids, equipped with a suitable video camera. During the next week, we would have to produce such a clip. 

I guess I was now forced to be in a team with my cherished roomies, Dana Crus and Nicole Bristow, although I already saw the troubles rising. A collaboration of Nicole and Dana was impossible without major frictions and turmoil. 

Likewise, Chase Matthews, Logan Reese, and Michael Barret were most likely to form another team, as they were room pals. 

The competition was tough, but I wanted to win the scooter in order to be more independant. 

####  1:3:2:3  Outfits

According to my experiences gained from watching advertisements on television, outfits were one of the most important factors for presentations and publicity. 

Already as an elementary school kid I had started to develop some interest in fashion design, especially fashion for girls and women. Over night, I had drawn a few sketches of possible outfits that I would have liked us to wear during our video presentation of the Jet-X. And now it was time to present those sketches unto Nicole and Dana in order to see their opinion. It was necessary for me to become as active as obnly possible, for otherwise the troubles between Nicole and Dana would have turned more and more obvious, making the whole work on this project a nightmare. 

I opened my big sketch book. 

Dana and Nicole gasped upon spotting the designs. 

Alas, Dana wondered: “Where do we get those clothes from?” 

This was probably not easy, but doable with the help of the interweb. Sewing and stitching was definitely a work I was up to. 

Nicole moaned, because the dresses I had designed appeared to fit only rather busty girls. 

I sighed deeply, admitting that I had exaggerated. 

We also distributed our responsibilities: 

While Dana Cruz was going to take care of directing the shootings for the clip, Nicole Bristow was in charge with the script for the scenes. 

I was not sure whether this was the perfect distribution of tasks, but I knew that not assigning them would have triggered a lot more chaos and turmoil during the shootings. 

In addition, I was able to persuade Quinn Pensky to take care of the technical production of our promotional clip, as she was one girl able to handle cameras and other technological equipment very well, probably no worse than Logan’s hired professionals. 

####  1:3:2:4  First Session

Lowe was now employed as our school shrink, and he looked very weird, indeed. 

After all the trouble with Takato and my paranoia, I was one of his first patients — little wonder, no? I tried introducing myself. “My name is Zoey Brooks.” 

Lowe coughed. “Why do you tell me that your name is Zoey Brooks?” 

I could not make any sense of that. “Because that’s what my dad and my mom have decided to name me?” 

Lowe replied: “Is it because what your dad and your mom have decided to name you that you came to me?” 

I moaned. “Hell no!” 

The shrink told me to watch my tongue. 

I choked, utterly consternated. “OK, sorry!” 

It was obvious that we would not going to get anywhere. If I had not yet been feeling paranoid, I would have made go completely insane by now, due to the inept talk of that shrink.1:42

After all, even the crazy talk of Takato was a whole lot less confusing and more inspiring than the crappy nonsense made up by Lowe. 

Maybe it was better to take Takato serious, although he did not really exist, instead of making myself get confused by his talk? 

####  1:3:2:5  The Model

#####  1:3:2:5:1  Desperate Search

I decided to go ands look for myself, and in order to find it, I refrained from giving up on my idea of designing the outfits for a clip for Jet-X. Only this way, I would figure whether my concepts of fashion design were any useful and doable, and whether I was able to find myself in this business, as my intuition had always told me. 

But it was obvious that Nicole and I were not able to present the collection of outfits that I had in mind and my sketchbook. Of course there were women with those ... er ... curves ... cough ... moan. But it was a promotional clip for a scooter, a vehicle designed for guys and girls of my age, not for adult women. 

Otherwise, Savage would not have wanted us eighth graders to produce such a thing, and he could as well have made it a project at special colleges with many future experts. 

In other words, I needed to find a willing model of our age, and time was scarce, as Logan Reese — just as expected — used all of his money and his connections in order to secure himself the first prize. Even his camera costed more than the house of an upper middle class family. 

Nicole insisted that her dad also owned an enterprise, as the greatest softdrink vendor from Kansas. 

Of course, Bristow Juices was unable to hold any dim candle to **Blix** ,1:43 one of the most influential sponsors at Pacific Coast Academy. Many kids here were addicted to Blix softdrinks, as will be seen later on. 

But Nicole insisted that her dad’s juices were made exclusively of natural ingredients, as opposed to Blix, although she had to admit on site that she did not really understand what that was supposed to say. “But we will turn thirsty during the shootings, we sure will ... and then dad could deliever us some juices. I like apple and mango most of all.” 

Dana had already started blaming Nicole for a lame script, in addition to making pointless propaganda for her dad’s juices. 

This increased the urgency of find ing a suitable model. 

And Logan added one additional straw to the burden restinh on his competitors’ backs: 

**Jeff Garrett** ,1:44 one of the hottest Hollywood actors of the generation before us, was going to star in his publicity clip. He was currently about to star in one of Malcolm’s not yet completed productions, and so it was easy for Logan Reese to abuse his contacts shamelessly. 

#####  1:3:2:5:2  Trinidad Vega

We had placed a call for help on our Splash Flace site, hoping for someone competent to find it. 

**Splash Face**1:45 was one of the most popular social networking sites for us west coast kids. 

Two days later, a girl had actually replied: **Rebecca Trinidad de la Vega y Martinez**1:46 was an exorbitantly busty teenage Latina from uptown Los Angeles who was dreaming of a career as a supermodel and musical star. 

Her manager, a very windy guy after all, had read the announce and thereupon sent Trina our way. 

The criolla was not very pleased by the little sum of bucks we were able to offer, but she had to accept the job, as it was sort of a test for her in order to get better and well-paid ones. 

I was finally able to tailor the outfits she was supposed to wear. 

Nicole sighed deeply, because she would have loved to be shaped like Rebecca. “I would be cool, and all the cute boys would finally notice me.” 

Dana poked Nicole. “Looking for attention is not cool!” 

The tide was high, but at least there was now some sort of spark of light at the far end of the tunnel. 

#####  1:3:2:5:3  Let Down

I was done sewing the outfits that I had designed for the clips, following my own fashionable designs. 

Now Rebecca was supposed to don the gowns, allowing us to start shooting the clip. But now there was a problem: Rebecca had cancelled her collaboration in our project. “One of your hottest class mates has offered more bucks in order to work for him in his clip. And I am finally going to star with Jeff Garrett. That will be the perfect start into my perfect career as a supermodel and as a Broadway star.” 

That hot class pal was of course no other than Logan Reese. 

Of course we were neither able to compete with Logan’s bucks, nor with the charms of Jeff Garrett. In other words, we were again lost and doomed. 

Logan had already graciously offered to take me along for a trip to the seaside on his scooter, allowing us to make out there, and stuff. 

This was of course a totally disgusting thought, and I was unable to bear it. 

Michael and Chase had been totally disappointed by their tasks during the production of their promotional clip. They complained that they had not been allowed anything but carrying the equipment from plce to place, but they had to handle it carefully due to its high value. Michael added that they had at least encountered that excessively hot Latina. “But she yelled at us, telling us not to even dream about touching her.” The boys sighed deeply. 

Nicole still offered to tell her dad to send us a van’s load of juices for our shooting scenes. 

And now Dana accused our room mate of having ruined the whole project with her talk about juices. Of course it was not her fault, either. 

Everything stank big times, and I was infinitely close to going paranoid again. Just another appearance of Takato was missing. 

####  1:3:2:6  Weird Decision

#####  1:3:2:6:1  To Lose Is To Win

And then Takato showed up again. I was almost curious what this not so existing guy was now going to tell me. The illusory sage muttered:

> By winning the contest, you will just defeat yourself. 
> 
> What is more important a scooter or your dignity?

I coughed noisily. “My dignity is at stake? How?” 

But, all of a sudden, Takato was gone, and this was a bit shocking. Granted, he often disappeared just like this, and that was something that would not have bothered me, but this was the first time I had been waiting for an answer. 

So it was probably up to me finding out what sort of loss of dignity was suppsedly meant by Takato. I had hitherto supposed that making me dependent on disgusting jerks like Logan Reese was tantamount to losing my human dignity. But now there seemed to be a lot more to it. 

Without the Jet-X, I would have been forced to walk or go by bicycle, just as it had been hitherto the case ... or accept something like Logan’s foul and perverse offer. 

The latter option seemed like corrupting and compromising myself. But how could winning a Jet-X be considered as having consequences like losing my own dignity? 

Even worse, my team mates Nicole and Dana were never interested in any form of dignity or morals. 

There was hardly a way of convincing them of the bright side of losing against Team Logan. 

And this was even more so the case as long as I was not able to discern this bright side for myself. 

#####  1:3:2:6:2  Defeated

OK, so the inevitable happened: We lost against Logan Reese, leaving him, Michael, and Chase a brand new scooter each. No, it was actually three new scooters for Logan. Really, Logan had got enough money to buy himself three new scooters that did not look any worse than this Jet-X, which would havebeen probably cheaper than his shootings of the video clip. His only purpose had been that of humiliating us girls. 

Chase was unable to ride a Jet-X because he was even too distracted to ride a bike, as seen upon my first day at Pacific Coast Academy. 

In addition, I had designed three fashionable dresses for no avail, as Rebecca had not worn them. 

Nicole and Dana were both mad at me, and they were thus at least distracted from fighting each other, which, after all, was some sort of a bright side. 

But I had still not understood why I had preseved my dignioty just by not winning that scooter. 

OK, maybe Takato had just made up some nonsense in order to make me feel less miserable about the inevitable. But what if not? Would I ever come to see what was going on? 

##  1:4  Boarding School Drama

###  1:4:1  Our Drama Club

The vicinity of our school to Pacific Coast Academy involved the increased significance of classes and project related to the movie industry, one of them being doubtlessly the art of acting. 

And although we did not have the facilities of specialised schools, such as nearby **Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts**1:47 or **Palmwood Springs School** ,1:48 the kids and staff members were ambitious enough to povide at least for three public performances each academic year. 

The adviser of our drama club was one **Fletcher St. Troy** ,1:49 a former mediocre actor, choreographer, and performance artist, whose active career as a Hollywood star had ended prematurely after some arguments with Malcolm Reese. 

###  1:4:2  Zorka

Sometimes, the students at Pacific Coast Academy wrote the plays to be performed in our drama club. 

This was also the case this time, and the playwright was no other than my pal Chase Matthews. That was of course really cool, and it reveiled his true talents and ambitions. 

Howeverm I doubted that Hollywood was the right goal for him, but, rather, the Broadway would have been more his cup of tea. 

Indeed, Chase’s example to live up to appeared to be **Sophia Michelle** ,1:50 a drama scientist from Manhattan, who was among the most successful Broadway authors since the glorious times before the establishment of cable TV. Chase had written a play about Zorka, an alien girl from the planet of Zorkesia, and he begged me to try out for the part of Zorka. 

Unfortunately, I had not seen that it was but a very cheap trick of Chase in order to get me to kiss him. If I had known, I would have stayed out of a lot of trouble. After all, I valued my dignity, as correctly figured by illusory Takato. And getting tricked by boys into kissing them would have been very humiliating and compromising. 

Briefly, the play was about an alien girl stranded with her spaceship on planet earth, near the islands of Hawaii. A valiant baywatch was to save her, and then they would kiss, or something like that. 

###  1:4:3  Auditioning

####  1:4:3:1  Female Star

Two girls had auditioned for the character of Zorka before me, and non of them had found mercy in Chase’s eyes, let alone those of Mr.!Fletcher. 

One of them had been screaching all the time like an insane fury, whereas the other one had been singing, although the play about alien girl Zorka was not intended to be a musical. 

I was really no good at acting, but the character of Zorka was very much like me, so I did not really have to act, did I? So, at the end of the auditions, there was no doubt left: 

I was apparently the born Zorka from the planet of Zorkesia. If I had been any less naïve, I would also have noticed the similarity between _Zorka_ and _Zoey_. 

It was all but a farce deployed by Chase Matthews, who, of course, had planned on acting the job of the baywatch. 

Imagining Chase as a real bay guard would have filled me with insane laughter, though. 

Whatever — this was acting! 

If Chase had been the only one to try out for the heroic part of his own play, he would have certainly obtained the job. But maybe there were others. 

####  1:4:3:2  Male Star

Actually, Chase Matthews had been a poor excuse of an actor, very poor indeed. He was actually not able to be convincing in a rôle that was unlike himself. Indeed, the bay watch character was what Chase would have liked to be, but in a totally unrealistic and unreachable way. 

Then Logan Reese tried out, and he was very convincing as the baywatch. Inspite of being the son of Hollywood csar Malcolm Reese, Logan had not been really interested in theatre. He claimed that plays were lame, as opposed to action sports like football. He even made fun of boys like Chase who were interested in the dramatic arts. But this was probably because Logan saw stage plays in front of a small audience as vastly inferior to screen drama. 

This was definitely the case for aforementioned Ashley Blake, the child diva of Hollywood, who was very picky in that respect. 

But all of a sudden, Logan had changed his mind like a bursting bomb, and he was very convincing in acting like an attractive and valiant baywatch. In part, this was probably due to the fact that the character of the life guard was not too far from Logan’s real life character, but also due to Logan’s family heritage. The spoiled dandy had been often with his father behind the scenes, and that’s why he had been so fmiliar with the production team of movies and even with important cast members like aforementioned Jeff Garrett, from whom he had learned such a lot. 

###  1:4:4  Chase’s Demeanour

During the following days, Chase acted weird, as if he was trying hard to dissuade me from performing in his play, although he had previously persuaded me into participating. 

With hindsight, of course, I know now what was going on, but back then, everything appeared to me quite a bit confusing. 

So, basically Chase was jealous of Logan, and he did not want him to kiss me, even if it was just for the stage. 

In turn, Logan must have sensed all the time that there had been something special concerning Chase’s feelings for me, and, being the crude jerk that he was, had always been, and would always be, until the bitter times of dystopia, loved to make fun of it and rub more and more salt into the already infested and aching wounds of the bushy dweeb’s soul. 

Now, the reader might want to ask why Chase had not admitted to his feelings right away. Well, typically, Chase lived in the terrifying fear of being rejected by me, and he imagined risking our friendship and his own reputation among his fello male students, who used to be mentally cruel. 

In particular, Logan would have taunted Chase to no end if he had been rejected by me . 

And, unfortunately, Chase was too much gullible, caring more about Logan’s opinion more than about his own feelings. 

Would I have rejected him? Would I have gone as far as terminating a friendship, just because of knowing that he wanted more? 

Of course it is hard to talk about those hypothetical alternatives even with hindsight. 

My gut feeling is that I would have been a bit surprised, because I felt too young for a serious relationship, and, honestly, Chase was not exactly the most mature minded guy of his age. 

In other words, it was much too early for me and Chase as a couple, I would have preferred to wait for that unil at least sophomore year of high school. But maybe I would have at least given him a feint chance in order to save him from Logan’s typical perverted taunts and humiliations, although that would have been a bit awkward for me. But in no case would I have terminated our friendship, for punishing Chase for being honest would not have made any sense, whatsoever, would it? I would not have made fun of him and his feelings, either, not even when alone with Dana and Nicole. 

Another question was of course whether Chase’s jealousy was indeed justified. 

Here I have to admit that there would have been a possibility for me giving even such an incredible jerk like the son of Malcolm Reese a chance, if there had not been the most recent encounter with Takato, which made me wonder about what it took in order to conserve my dignity. And I had come to understand that Logan had not got much respect for girls as personalities, only as toys and pets. 

Nevertheless, performing in that play as Zorka was a job I had accepted in the same way as Chase had accepted to work as a delivery boy for Kazu and his Sushi Rox, and I saw now reasong to break my promise to teh club as a whole. I was well able to separate business from private affairs or so I tried to, for this would be necessary when running a business of whatever sort in my later life. 

Chase now tried to change the end of the play by replacing _kiss_ with _kill_ , making it look like a typo. 

But Fletcher St. Troy did not accept Chase’s excuse. He was of the opinion that an artist had to know when his work is done, and not come back later in order to tweak this and that according to the circumstances. 

Indeed: As a fashion designer, I saw this as a rule to follow as well. See, I had recently completed the design of the outfits for the publicity clip for Jet-X. I had come to see that my designs were only suited for girls more busty than me, or Dana oe Nicole. But this had been definitely no reason for me to change my designs. 

###  1:4:5  The Flu

####  1:4:5:1  Jack’s Information

Wondering cluelessly about Chase’s motivations for his extremely weird demeanour, I wandered cluelessly up and down the campus aisle. A voice was heard behind me. I expected the next intervention of inevitable Takato. 

Alas, this was not the case: The voice belonged to **Jacob Ross** ,1:51 the Afro American room mate and — probably — best friend of my little baby brother. “Dustin in is sick!” 

I turned around, sighing deeply. “What?” 

Jack explained that Dustin was frequently feeling compelled to cough and sneeze like a vulcano. 

I shuddered a biot, remembering some bad cold he had caught four years earlier, or so. Officially, I should have been bound for the school stage in order to attend the next rehearsals for the play. 

But Dustin was of course more important than some theatre play. 

I thanked Jack for his informations, and I was going to look for my brother on site. 

####  1:4:5:2  Caring For Dustin

It had not been easy to find my brother. 

Inspite of his health problems, he had been roaming the campus for over an hour already. First he had been looking for me in my dormitory room. But he had not been able to find me there, because I was bound for the drama club. He had only met Dana, who had thereupon treated him like the last piece of dirt ... what a nice room mate she was! 

Quinn had caught Dustin on his way out, and she had been eager on applying her medical skills, certified — still without my knowledge — by my uncle Glazer. Thereupon, she had tied him to her bed, and then tortured him sadomasochistically with some sort of a vacuam cleaner applied to his tongue, claiming that it was designed for the purpiose of sucking germs and bacteria off the patients. And then she had treated his feet with some weird sizzling sparks, worse than the electrodes she had previously stuck into my brain. 

My poor little brother was so totally exhausted from this incessant torture. 

Now I rubbed his back carefully with some camphor salve and brewed some herbal tea for him, a recipe from my grandma. 

Dana would have to hear some brash words from my mouth, and Quinn ... 

OK, I better refrained from thinking too much about it. 

But Quinn must really have treated Dustin thoroughly, leaving visible traces on his body. 

I wondered also whether she had touched him inappropriately. 

Mad scientists were up to anything, as I had learned from shows like _Black Matter Theory_.1:52

####  1:4:5:3  Noisy Wakeup

The sun was slowly crawling over the tops of the southern Californian hill chains. 

Alas, not the sun rays woke me up, but rather one of Nicole Bristow’s insane screams. This was nothing new, though, albeit the reason for her squeals were. More precisely, my room mate had been scared by my coughing and sneezing noises that I must have emitted while still asleep. 

Dana was very aggressive, and she insulted me for having dragged in those germs because of my ... no, it would be completely inappropriate to mention any of the names she was applying to Dustin. 

Well, with this flu, it was of course impossible for me to participate in the upcoming performance of _Zorka_. In addition, it had been necessary to skip the previous rehearsals dur to haviung to care for my baby brother. 

Fletcher had probably been upset by the previous fact, anyways. 

Of course my room mates would be really pissed upon contracting my cold. But this was now almost inevitable. 

I better took care of finding a substitute in order to save the performance according to the schedule. 

####  1:4:5:4  My Substitute

So, who would be the lucky one to portray Zorka? 

Well, as girls were a vast minority here at Pacific Coast Academy, this was aboput impossible. During the past years, the girls’ characters had been portrayed by crossdressing boys, which was usually quite some embarrassment. One of those transvestites had been aforementioned Mark Del Figgalo, who had also tried out here for Zorka, but he had been really disappointed because he would have preffered another play named _Annie_ , in which he had performed the year before. 

I tried to contact the squealing fury and the poor excuse for a singer who had already tried out and been rejected by Chase, but they refused to participate, either, as they hated Chase for his decision. 

So, there was only one possibility left, more precisely, that of looking for a girl from outside Pacific Coast Academy. 

This had already been practised during the past years, and it had sometimes wreaked a lot of havoc. 

Now I remembered that Rebecca Martinez had been a wannabe stage star, and she was probably looking for an coccasion to demonstrate her talent again. Of course I was still disappointed because she had let me down in the worst possible moment, but according to Takato, this was not a bad thin g, after all, although It did not yet understand what was wrong with Jet-X. 

OK, there was not much time left ... 

###  1:4:6  The Première

So, this was the big day of Zorka from the planet of Zorkesia. 

I was not feeling horribly sick anymore, but my voice was messed up from fits of coughing and choking. It was nevertheless possible for me to participate in the audience in order to admire the play in which I would have almost starred. 

The actors entered the stage. Those included Michael Barret, Nicole Bristow, and Logan Reese. 

Rebecca Trinidad de la Vega y Martinez was the last one to show up, surprising about everyone, including Logan Reese. 

Until the last minute, Logan had boasted in Chase’s presence with his plans of kissing me on the stage. Now he looked a bit disappointed. 

Rebecca grinned. She hoped that Malcolm Reese would watch his play, including her cool performance. “Zoey would have been cute, but my performance will take the audience’s breath away!” 

Fletcher St. Troy looked totally consternated. 

The only one pleased by the sudden change of the cast was Chase Matthews, also among the audience. Of course, he was relieved because Logan and I were now definitely not going to kiss. 

Another Latina sat down next to me. She was probably not from this school, either. 

The seat next to me had been empty, because many people do not like to sit next to a flu sick girl. 

She introduced herself as **Lola Martinez**.1:53 “I am Rebecca’s sister.” 

I nodded solemnly, for this made a lot of sense. 

Dean Rivers urged the actors to start the play. 

Logan had been so convincing during the rehearsals, but now he seemed totally off his feet. 

Rebecca made her job just fine, but this was not really of any help, given Logan’s stupid reactions to everything. 

Lola complained, “I have been acting a lot, and I look forward to beig a Hollywood star, but my sister thinks that she can do all of this without practice, just because she is ... well ... I can’t really find a reason.” She sighed deeply. 

Of course, with a stage partner like Logan in this state, no actress would have made it anywhere. 

The whole performance threatened to turn into one big disaster. 

Chase may have been glad about my absence, but he was now helpless seeing his own creation drift down the sewer drain. 

Finally, it was time for the kissing scene. 

Rebecca leant in to smooch Logan. She even assaulted him, making him slump to the ground, so she kneel down and kiss him on the floor. 

But the filthy creep only glared into my direction, disappointed by having to miss out on the chance of making Chase suffer to death. 

Trina sighed deeply. Apparently, she had expected better things from Logan, the hottest boy of Pacific Coast Academy. 

Lola walked to the stage and pulled her sister off Logan. “Sorry, folks, this is really embarrassing!” She sighed deeply. 

Michael remarked, “Who’s that girl? She is really hot!” 

Chase, on the other hand, was unable to say a word. 

Dean Rivers was now equally going to be embarrassed for the catastrophe that had occurred on the stage. 

Fletcher St. Troy was trying to invent some excessively poor excuses, but for not so much avail. 

It was a really bad day for our drama club, and Malcolm Reese was better not going to watch a video of our performance ... 

###  1:4:7  The Future Of Zorka

But things went another way: 

Malcolm Reese came to see some snapshots of the performanace of the play, and now he was up to producing a movie off it. 

Logan thought that he would naturally be the baywatch, but there were auditionings to attend , and so on. 

At the same time, I had talked a few stern words to Dana. 

The tomboy’s reactions were colder than the ice of the eternal antarctic winter nights. There was nothing left for me to do than to denounce Dana for having been mean to Dustin, getting her sentenced to anger management sessions by Doctor Lowe. 

Needless to say, she was not keen on this decison. But was she up to getting back at me? 

I did not yet care, because I was happy that I had not performed in the play. I don’t think I would have been a great actress for the big screen, and the whole business implied by being a Hollywood star. I definitely did not want to become anything like Ashley Blake or similar starlets. 

##  1:5  Drake Parker

###  1:5:1  Spring Fling

We kids at Pacific Coast Academy and elsewhere loved celebrating parties. And one of the most traditional events for celebrating here at our school was the ingfamous annual spring fling. 

But, unfortunately, boys were and had always been miserable organisers for events like parties, whence our spring flings used to be lame during all those years ago, as Chase and Michael had to remember in a most painful manner. 

Fortunately, the years of the boys-only boarding school were buried in the past, and now it was time for us girls, and especially for me, to take things into our hands and show the boys what a real party is. 

A good party needed good music,, and boys just had no sense for finding good bands, while I had got a cool idea concerning this topic. Recently, a new star had been discovered: 

**Drake Parker**1:54 had been a normal teenage boy from San Diego County in California, maybe two years older than me and my pals, until just a few months ago. But now he had been discovered and won the attention of the scene, because he had been the perfect substitute for fantabulous **Devin Malone** , lead singer of **Zero Gravity** , after his step brother **Joshuah Nichols**1:55 had accidentally broken the hand of this well established rock star.1:56 Of course, Drake had started playing the rock guitar already a few years earlier, but the concert with Zero Gravity had been his first step into the light of public attention. While he had hitherto performed only at local private events and talent shows, he was now ready to get hired elsewhere in southern California, and he was even marketed by some professional manager. Drake was apparently a great attraction for us teenage girls. Especially Nicole Bristow was totally obsessed with him. But he was also fairly popular with boys, including my brother Dustin and my pals Chase and Michael. 

On the other hand, there were exceptions to the latter, and these included especially Logan Reese. Well, there was of course a simple explanation for this fact: 

Drake Parker was so godawfully hot that he took away the attention from most of ther other boys in his vicinity. 

Logan deemed himself a great womaniser, but he feared the competition of rock idols like Drake Parker more than brimstone and eternal hell fire. 

Now there was a big problem: This would have been Drake’s first bigger public concert outside San Diego County, but his greedy creep of a manager already required five thousand bucks for this concert. 

Needless to say, we kids were not able to deliver such a huge amount of bucks without sweat. 

Well, of course there was at least one person on the campus easily able to afford such a concert, and this was no other than aforementioned Logan Reese, but, as we should have expected, the deprecable dandy was by absolutely no means willing to finance the appearance of a much more skilled womaniser than himself on the campus. 

So it seemed like this: If we wanted to hire someone like Drake Parker for our spring party, we would have had to raise funds on our own. Unfortunately, there were no such things as five thousand dollar trees growing here right by the beach, waiting for us to harvest them once ripe. 

My dear little brother Dustin walked in on us, and, as he had heard about the concert, and about the band that I was trying to hire, he donated a few bucks. 

This was of course nice, and I would usually have been totally pleased by Dustin’s action, but as his loving and caring elder sister, I wanted to know where he had got the money from, given that he had not been very successful making his own bucks earlier on. 

Dustin explained that Quinn Pensky had hired him as a test person for a series of experiments about sleep withdrawal. 

Of course that was something to be worried about, and I should have talked some serious words to Quinn. Unfortunately, the nerdy girl from Seattle had already paid Dustin the bucks for everything, and he had spent already most of it, just as usual. 

###  1:5:2  Raising Funds

####  1:5:2:1  Garth Burman

I had already thought of a few things to do in order to raise funds. 

First, there was the classic car wash idea. There were so many cars of teachers and staff members standing on the campus, it was not much of a problem for us to make a few bucks from cleaning them all. 

Nearby James K. Polk had got an annual car wash for the purpose of fund raising, and this had often gone awry.1:57 But I did not really care about that. 

The next idea was that of collecting money for bashing melons. This was the idea of Michael, according to whom boys like destroying things. 

There was also an opportunity for throwing balls at one of the school’s bullies. 

In addition, I had designed a shirt with a logo for Drake and his band, and I hoped to be able to sell those shirts to his fans. This time, I tried hard to refrain from exaggerating in the same way as when designing the outfits for the Jet-X commercials. 

Now we were trying to catch Dean Rivers in order to get his approval for our fund raising. And there he showed up, right in time. 

Nicole fell onto her knees in front of him in order to ask for approval, without even letting the headmaster know about the content of our request. She was so totally taken by the prospects of meeting Drake Parker that her brain malfunctioned badly. She needed to be rebuked for her deed. 

Rivers allowed for the whole thing, but onnly if there were no clowns involved. 

So, fortunately, there weren’t, and thus there were no more obstacles for our action. 

Now a man in his thirties with a very cool car showed up. This was **GarthBurman** ,1:58 the executive chairman of the board of Pacific Coast Academy. We were a bit scared by this title, but this was by no means necessary, as Garth was totally cool, and he was all in favour of hiring a new rock star for our fling. He was also an alumnus of our school, and he remembered all the lame flings of his time. Also,it turned out that Burman was the one responsible for Dean Rivers’s allergy against clowns. 

The fundraising actions could now start ... 

####  1:5:2:2  Failure

The actions may have been a lot of fun, but they only helped us to make about one thousand bucks. 

The reasons were that I had forgotten to take into account the cost for the melons to be bashed, the cotton cloth and ink for the Drake shirts, and water and soap for the car wash action. Unfortunately, we had not yet taken classes in business or economy or accounting. With some bad luck, we would easily have even lost bucks instead of gaining a few. 

There was no way around declaring that everything had been a complete failure. 

####  1:5:2:3  Using The Source

Consternated, I walked the beaches all alone, until running into no other than multiply aforementioned Mr. Takato. 

Once more, the wacky senile weirdo started talking my ears off, this time about the need to use the source. 

And — business as usual — I did not understand anything and was able to ask him back before he was gone again. I sighed deeply. So, what was I supposed to do by using the source? 

There was a question ... But, hey! Maybe it was something like:

> The manager is the one to request a huge amount of bucks. 
> 
> But we do not want the manager here at Pacific Coast Academy for our spring fling, we just want Drake Parker to perform. 
> 
> So, why not simply sidestep the management and ask Drake directly? 
> 
> After all, inspite of his huge popularity, Drake is just a teenager and high school boy, only two years older than us.

With these thoughts on my mind, I returned to the residence hall in order to talk about the situation of Drake. 

###  1:5:3  Megan Parker

Indeed, it was not as hard as I had originally imagined to find someone familiar with Drake and his family from San Diego. 

Dustin’s classmate 1:591:60 was one of the best friends of Drake’s little sister **Megan Parker** ,1:61 an apparently very tricky girl. She had recently got a terrible crush on much older Drake, and, in order to get over it, she had been sent to Pacific Coast Academy by her mom. 

Dustin had gazed at Wendy with hungry eyes since her arrival.1:62

I deemed Dustin much too young for a girlfriend, and thus I had tried hard to ignore this. Unfortunately, this was a big mistake, or probably would have been so on the long run. I just did not want my baby brother to grow up, it seemed. I should have honestly talked with him about his feelings for girls instead of trying to ignore their existence for the next few decades to come. 

Needless to say, Dustin was nothing like superstar Drake Parker, and thus he did not have a snowball’s chance in the eternal blast furnace to get his feelings replied in kind by the girl. He was even made fun of by his crush. 

But now I did not want to have to consider Wendy as a potential sister in law, but only as a messenger for her friend Megan. 

Well, Wendy told me a lot about the Parkers, and about her feelings for Drake because of which she had gone through hell and back again. 

These were none of my concerns, of course. 

But, finally, I was allowed to talk to Megan. 

The little monster asked me: “Are there any **hot** high school girls at Pacific Coast Academy, as Wendy always complains?” 

Well, inspite of us girls being a clear minority at our school, there were some high school girls, and some of them were certainly in Drake’s range, as far as I was able to judge. 

For Megan, the case was clear. “OK, so this will make it easy to lure my boob to your campus. Just give me the bucks you’ve got in order to cover my expenses, and then leave the rest to me, leave it all to me!”1:63

**Boob** was an expression used by Megan for useless boys, including especially, albeit not exclusively, Drake and Josh. 

OK, I should have seen that coming that Megan was not doing anything for nothing, but it seemed much cheaper than having to pay the perversely greedy manager. 

Wendy was of course extremely excited to see her crush soon again. The glow in her eyes told me that she had not yet given up on him and that she was up to fighting for her crush. 

But so were many girls at this campus, be it from elementary, middle, or high school for that matter. 

Drake was simply the kind of boy that made girls’ hearts beat faster and faster, just like aforementioned Jeff Garrett, but he was most definitely one of our generation. 

###  1:5:4  The Party Of Parties

####  1:5:4:1  Entrance Of The Superstar

The sun had risen over our campus, iilluminating the start of the big day of our spring fling. 

We had been waiting anxiously for the big star. 

Of course he was now coming without his band, but this was probably not a big loss, at least not according to Wendy who claimed that Drake’s solo performances were exceptional, no comparison to his fellow band members who were not worthy of his shadow, anyways. 

But we had been forced to provide some backup musicists. 

This had not been hard, as there were many wannabe future rockstars here at Pacific Coast Academy or at neareby schools who volunteered readily for being allowed to perform once, side by side with the great Drake Parker. 

Unfortunately, one of them was Rebecca Trinidad de la Vega y Martinez, the busty Latina that had already once caused me troubles of some kind. 

Her sister Gloria Victoria, whom I had already seen upon the première performance of Chase’s _Zorka_ , was also coming along with her. 

It had taken the two sisters a scooter ride across the city of Los Angeles in order to make it up to here. But this was more or less the case for some other visitors form all over the county of Los Angeles who had made it to this big spring party. 

We were standing at the campus entrance, waiting for the arrival of the big star. 

And there was his car. Drake had just made his driver’s licence, and he was taking turns with his step brother Joshuah Nichols, an ugly and annoying dweeb with an excessively huge head. 

OK, Drake had probably not chosen his kinsmen. But now he opened the cargo storage of the old and rusty car in order to fetch his guitar. 

But there was something else hidden in the back of the car. 

Thoroughly consternated Drake and Josh bellowed at the top of their lungs: “Megan!” 

That girl in Dustin’s age grinned viciously. “Boobs! What did you think I was up to doing today?” 

Drake and Josh sighed deeply. 

Megan was immediately going to talk to her friend Wendy, with whom she was apparently appointed. Of course she was aware of her friend’s feelings for Drake, and she tried hard to dissuade her from going too far. 

Drake had already feared to be overrun by Wendy. He had not known beforehand about her presence here at our school. 

For some reason, Megan must have forgotten to mention this detail. 

But other girls stormed at him, including Nicole, who claimed to have been stung by a bee —of course, was a really stupid white lie. 

Wendy eyed my bimbo room mate in the most suspicious manner. 

Megan Parker was not just an annoying little sister, she seemed to have got some talent on her own right. She opened some cylindric case, making a woodwind instrument appear. She had to tell us that it was an oboe, as most of us had never seen any of those before. Then she started performing a little romantic tune, _Entrance Of The Gladiators_ by some Fučik. 

This was the signal for preparing the stage and letting Drake march up to there, making him meet his backup musicians. 

Needless to say, Rebecca alias Trina was hell bent on singing side by side with the rocking teenage star in order to demonstrate her supreme talent. And it was little surprising that she was not just interested in the concert, but also in Drake, much to the dismay of Wendy Gellar. 

Lola had got a hard time in order to dissuade her elder sister from exaggerating beyond any reason. 

####  1:5:4:2  Let The Music Play!

Drake announced his first song: _Highway To Nowhere_.1:64

Trina was trying to press herself tightly against Drake, but she was pulled back by annoyed Lola. 

Not also Wendy was annoyed, but also Logan Reese: Only later would it become obvious for me that he was jealous because he liked the busty Latina, although he would not have admitted to it because he did not want to ruin his career as a reckless jerk and womaniser for just one girl, not at that early point. 

The sound of the best rock music — ever — finally filled the air. 

Alas, I wondered about Dustin. 

My little brother had been awfully tired during the last days, most likely due to Quinn’s diabolic experiments. 

I should have taken better care of it, but I had been so awfully obsessed with the organisation of the whole concert, it made me really angry at myself. So, now that the concert had started well, I decided to look after my baby brother. 

####  1:5:4:3  Poor Dustin

I was constermnated when I saw the lifeless body of Dustin. I seemed to be not the first one over there. 

A bunch of elementary school kids had gathered around him. 

He must have lost his consciousness after several days of sleep withdrawal. 

I was up to saying some brash words to Quinn, but I had to find her first. 

Megan was among the kids surrounding my unconscious brother, and she talked to her friend Wendy, using some serious words. “If you treat boys that bad just because they aren’t Drake ... verily, I tell you ... you will never be worthy of any boyfriend whatsoever!” She sighed, apparently clueless about how to treat my brother. 

I introduced myself as Dustin’s elder sister. “We must save him.” 

But that was not easy: The infirmary was located all across the campus, and fighting our way over there, straight through masses of jamming fans of Drake Parker. 

In addition, the nurse was still the same old perverted children-devouring dragon. 

Quinn might have helped him, but , on the other hand, she had been the culprit and was probably going to hide from us. And there was little reason for me to trust that mad scientist ever again. 

Megan remarked, “If you are such a caring sister, you just have to take him into your arms, and everything will turn well again ... which Drake never does to me.” She sighed for extreme despair. “Just don’t give him to Quinn, she sounds a lot like a cross of Doctor Glazer and Mindy Crenshaw.” 

Was it really that simple? 

I just had to try. I was also shocked by the fact that Megan compared Quinn with my uncle Glazer, whom she apparently knew somwhat, as he had been their family medic for quite some time. I had never heard about **Mindy Crenshaw** ,1:65 though, but I would soon come to learn an unhealthy lot about her. 

Jack Ross and some other elementary school kids helped unconsious Dustin onto his feet, until my little brother rested safely in my arms. 

And, indeed, Megan Parker was right. 

Just a few moments later, Dustin opened his sweet little eyes and recognised me on site. “Zoey!” He needed a lot of sleep now. 

For that reason, I decided to miss out on one or two songs by Drake in order to take Dustin to his comfy bed. 

####  1:5:4:4  Extra Song

Finally, Dustin was taken care off, and he would recover soon. 

There was some time left for me to return to the concert. 

The big star was in his last traits. He had to say a few words, at least according to his step brother Joshuah. “Hello, thanks for listening, and a special thanks to those who tried to serve as backup singers. You have probably all tried your best, but one of you was particularly convincing.” 

Rebecca was apparently secure in the knowledge of being the most gifted of all and having impressed Drake as much as only possible. 

Drake continued: “And so I decided in favour of an extra song with the most impressive talent among you: Lola Martinez!” 

Lola looked astonished: “But I have not even been with you on the stage.” 

Drake smiled. “Yeah, but you have sung along with us, and that was perfect, I know a perfect female lead voice when I see one! Come to the stage, please!” 

Rebecca was consternated. “What? You must confuse us! I am the gifted one in our family!” 

Drake sighed deeply. “as a dancer, sure, but not as a female lead voice!” 

Rebecca had got a hard time swallowing this judgment. 

Lola was still a bit timid, but she followed Drake’s invitation. “OK, what are we singing now?” 

Drake announced: “My next song is _Hollywood Girl_!”,1:66 with lyrics by Adelaide Singer1:67 and a tune by Wendy Gellar, both of them good friends of my wonderful little sister Megan!” 

The sister of the rockstar looked really surprised, becayse Drake had credited her and her friends. 

This was a really beautiful song, and it looked like having been written explicitly with Lola in mind. The cute Latina was apparently the perfect Hollywood girl par excellence. 

Rebecca was still disappointed. 

After the song, Drake remarked: “Your sister is really attractive and superhot, but she is too much for me to handle, and this will give me a few nightmares. I am so much reminded of the cartoon series about some **Timmy Turner** and that freaky girl with a crush on him, **Tootie**.”1:68

Lola smiled. “I can understand this, indeed!” 

But now it was time for me to say good-bye to the rock star. “Too bad I had to take care of my brother during some of the songs. He is a victim of some sadistic experiment, and he has missed out on the whole concert.” I sighed thoroughly. 

Drake nodded. “Too bad. There is a signed DVD of my performance with Zero Gravity, replacing Devin Malone. This should help your brother to get over it.” 

I smiled. “Oh, I am sure he will like it a whole lot!” 

Then Drake remarked that some of us kids were wearing those cool tops with his n ame on them. 

I explained that they were my design, and that I had tried in vain to gather the bucks for hiring him in this way. 

Drake gasped. “They are really perfect designs. I would appreciate if you did that now on a permanent base for my band. I may even pay you for the efforts.” 

I choked. “But what will your manager ...” 

Drake laughted. “I fired the worthless creep. Josh is now my new manager!” 

Joshuah grinned. “Yeah, brother! Hug me!” 

This was the hitherto best week of my life here at Pacific Coast Academy! 

##  1:6  Puff Bananas

1:69

###  1:6:1  New Backpack Style

####  1:6:1:1  Spoiled

My friend Nicole Bristow was really an obnoxious threat to my nervous stability. 

This time, we were standing in the convenience store of Pacific Coast Academy. Just as usual, the shop was full of things we could not afdford, or at least not all of them at the same time, although we really wanted some cooler equipment for our live on this campus. 

Nicole was not only totally obsessed with cute boys, but with many other things that looked cute and were generally considered as cool. This time, her eyes fixed a new sort of candy, so-called **Cue Pops**.1:70

For me, those looked just like transparent plastic sticks filled with fruit jelly. 

Nicole just could not help ordering two of them, and then she was so obsessed with her acquisition, which she had not even pay for, that she just needed to demonstrate how to use them. She must have believed herself greatly skilled in the usage of these cue pops, but ... oops! ... the gelatineous contents of the sticks oozed and squirted across the store, staining one of the official Pacific Coast Academy backpacks being displayed for sale beyond the counter. 

The vendor tried to clean the ugly mess, but without avail: The backpack was spoiled, and so he was forced to make Nicole pay both for this sack and for the already wasted cue pops. 

But Nicole was worse in taking care of her cash than even Dustin, and so she had to beg me for helping her out with my own bucks. 

I could have really put my hardly saved money to a better use, but as a friend of Nicole, I was certainly obliged to help her out, hoping that she would not repeat such a similar disaster next time around in the shop. 

As we had paid for the ruined backpack, we were allowed to take it with us. For Nicole’s taste, the backpack was ugly and uncool, and even more so now that she had spoiled it with her jelly sticks. 

On the other hand, I had got some idea. I had already designed fashion, so why not use the occasion in order to create a fashionable backpack, just as an exercise for artist creativity and skills? 

####  1:6:1:2  Fixed

After some efforts worth a few hours, I was done with patching the mess wreaked by my bimboish room mate. 

The new backpack looked really stylish, or so did I think, but that was nothing new or hard to achieve for someone with my skills. But what did others think about it? 

Naturally, Nicole Bristow was the first person to get to evaluate my work. And, indeed, she was totally the same that this backpack was no other than the one she had ruined, just revised and updated in some artistic manner. 

Of course, not everyone was as easy to impress as Nicole, but I was pretty much confident that the greater public would not really hate my new designs, either, just as in the case of the shirts designed for Drake Parker. Now it was time to show the thing to my other pals. 

###  1:6:2  Apples And Bananas

At the same time, Quinn Pensky was working on another project of her own. Unlike mine, hers was of courese not an artistic one, but a scientific enterprise, more precisely it had to do with botanic engineering. The geek queen from Seattle had got two favourite fruits: Apples and bananas. And sometimes, she was not sure about which of them to choose for eating. In order to save herself from the pressure of choosing, she had produced the idea of a plant growing fruits that were both bananas and apples at the same time. She called those things **Banapples**. 

It was hard for me to imagine such a kind of strange fruit, though. But now I came to visit the botanic garden of our school, and I discovered some banana bush. I was really surprised because I had always wrongly imagined that bananas grew on trees, which was apparently not the case. 

Quinn explained that she had manipulated the banana shrub genetically, creating this banapple plant. 

There were even a few fruits on the twigs which were shaped like little bananas, but they were still all green and probably far from ripe. 

Quinn was already looking forward to harvest time. But she also deemed it necessary to protect the shrub from crows and other birds preying on the still unripe fruits. For that avail, the geek p rincess from Seattle was about to invent a new sort of screcrow, and, as I guessed, this would be a high technology thing, probably a robot firing rockets homing in on anyone getting too close to the plants. 

I would probably take another look at the banapple bush at some later moment in time — or so I supposed — but now I was better off minding my own business. 

###  1:6:3  Anastasia

There were still some problems in our lounge, but this time, it was not the presence of any of Logan’s diabolic spying devices. 

Rather, we girls would have loved to listen to some good music even on days when Drake Parker was not exactly around on the campus. But our stereo plant was no longer functioning, and we were too stupid to repair it. 

Well, we could certainly have asked Quinn to do so, but she was too busy dealing not only with her banapple shrub, but also with her new boyfriend, Mark fel Figgalo. 

Honestly, I never understood why the two of them had become a couple, although I had been forced by Quinn to help her matching them ... more or less.1:71 Well, after all, it was not my business, was it? Now I showed my carefully reworked backpack to anyone visiting the lounge, and most of those seeing it were thoroughly impressed. 

Then a new girl going by the name of **Anastasia** or Stasie,1:72 who had already been loitering around, asked me to take some pictures of the masterpiece of art, claiming to be in the redaction of the school newspaper. 

I did not know that Anastasia was really no other than Melinda Crenshaw, a girl from Drake’s and Josh’s school in San Diego that had already been mentioned previously by Megan Parker as a potential peer of Quinn Pensky. 

No one known to me had seen Anastasia here on our campus before this week, and at best briefly. We even had to wonder whether she was a student at Pacific Coast Academy at all. 

Unfortunately, I was careless enough to trust the weird stranger and let her take a lot of pictures. I was probably too proud of my own artistic work to dissuade or prevent anyone from knowing everything about it. 

###  1:6:4  Claire Sawyer, Future Lawyer

####  1:6:4:1  Plagiarism

I should not have trusted that Anastasia, just as I should never have trusted Logan Reese, and now I was confronted with the results. 

The new girl had copied my design and was now about to sell them on the campus. This was of course so totally unfair. 

Nicole wanted me to hire her uncle, a lawyer, but he was currently either in prison for robbing a bank, or depressive, whatever. 

I did not think that there was much sense in kids hiring a lawyer. But I was no longer as naïve to believe that things were going to settle themselves. But, hey, I had once heard about other teenagers that know laws very well and prepare already for a law school program. Unfortunately, there was no such thing here at Pacific Coast Academy, but maybe it was possible to find one in some nearby school. 

Too bad aforementioned law school dropout Spencer Shay would not show up on our campus for yet another year in order to replace the destroyed sculpture of the founder of Pacific Coast Academy. This made it necessary to look elsewhere for a young legal genius in order to support my case. 

####  1:6:4:2  Honour Council

Chase and Michael did some interweb research, and they found out pretty fast that there was actually a person able to take care of my case. 

Her name was **Claire Sawyer** ,1:73, a middle school girl from aforementioned James K. Polk in Santa Clarita. She was now visiting the campus in order to investigate. It was not hard for her to find out that Anastasia was in deed a fake, inspired by the daughter of the last czar of Russia, who had been rumoured to have survived the bolshevist onslaught and fled to western Europe or America. 

The real name of the plagiariser was Melinda Crenshaw, and she was the girl that had been mentioned by Megan Parker a few weeks ago. Mindy Crenshaw had been a student at **Belleview**1:74 in San Diego, the same school as that of Drake, Josh, and Megan, until a few days ago. Then she had been suspended by an honour council for stealing the car of one particularly evil teacher, **Linda Hayfer** ,1:75 and trying to get Drake Parker framed for it. 

OK, this made a lot of sense, for someone able to commit such a mean deed was certainly also qualified for plagiarising backpacks and trying to get many a buck for them. 

Claire was now contacting Megan Parker, who had been the one to prove Drake’s innocence in the case of the honour council in Belleview. 

Josh had tried to defend Drake, but he had been a plain catastrophe. 

Everything had looked very bad for Drake, because there had been enough motivations for Drake and no such thing as an alibi. Well, it was really bad that Drake had not hired someone like Claire Sawyer, for this future lawyer would have solved the case in no time. 

In addition, I had not accidentally become the target of Mindy’s plagiuarism attacks. After all, I was a huge fan of Drake Parker, and I had not only invited him to give that spring concert here at Pacific Coast Academy, but I had also designed the new logos and outfits for him and his band. 

For someone hating Drake as much as Melinda did, this was certainly a powerful reason to target me closely. 

So, Claire’s collected material should have been enough for justifying another honour council, but this time here at Pacific Coast Academy, in order to get Mindy expelled again. And there was even more to it. 

My backpacks were not only for sale here at Pacific Coast Academy, but also at Claire’s school. 

A certain **Backpack Boy**1:76 sold the same design of backpacks, among many others, in a littl shop inside the school. This guy was stalking Claire in the most perverted manner, and this fact had led Claire to the right track in the first place. 

Just getting Melinda fired from here was thus not really efficient, because the lass was probably selling the backpacks already all over the county, and maybe elsewhere via interweb, using fake names and henchmen where it went. 

Some other measures were thus thorougly due, but what? Maybe it was necessary for me to figure why Melinda had developed and ecercised such an insane hatred against Drake? 

###  1:6:5  Science Unfair

####  1:6:5:1  Genetic Engineering

Megan Parker had once compared Mindy Crenshaw to Quinn Pensky, deeming both of them mad scientists. 

Quinn was new in California and had never heard about Mindy. 

But there were some scientific geniuses at James K. Polk as well, and Claire Sawyer had interviewed one of them, a certain **Simon Nelson Cook** alias **Cookie**.1:77

This geek boy knew a lot about Mindy in the sense that it was hopeless to compete with her. 

Melinda Crenshaw had recently won a price for cloning pets. She was California’s leading teenage capacity in the field of genetic engineering. It was now impossible that Mindy was not also interested in Quinn’s project involving the strange fruits, known as banapples. 

But was it really an incident that Mindy had chosen this school? 

Certainly, wreaking havoc on me, as a fan of Drake Parker, had been one reason, but there were many fans throughout southern California, all the way from Santa Barbara to San Diego. 

####  1:6:5:2  Mindy Fesses Up

Equipped with the results of Claire Sawyer’s detailled research, we decided to visit Mindy Crenshaw in order to talk some serious words to her. 

The nerd girl from San Diego was shocked because Claire had found out so fast about her identity. She was no longer thart much surprised when hearing about the unfortunate connection of Claire and the stalking backpack boy thats served Mindy as a frenchise relay. 

Claire suggested a huge fine for Mindy, along with royalties for future sales of the backpacks, regardless of the location. 

Mindy admitted indeed to having already started selling the backpacks in other schools of southern California, and plans for using the interweb for country wide or even international shipping were in progress. 

One of her younger cousins who was interested in the history of haberdashery was about to establish a network site allowing for marketing the backpacks worldwide, once really successful. 

Now it was time to mention Drake Parker. “Why do you hate him and all of his fans so much?” 

In order to emphasise the latter: Mindy had repeatedly called me something line _Drake’s little bitch_ , a habit that had already made Claire suggest more draconian punishments for the nerd girl. 

I glared sternly at Mindy. “You seriously need to consult the school shrink, Doc Lowe. Or else we have to report you.” 

Mindy glared at me. But then she sighed deeply. “OK, maybe I have exaggerated a bit?” Of course, she had done so much more than just a little bit. 

“So ... when are you ready to go to the doc?” 

Mindy choked. “After ... having won the Californian science fair?” 

Claire growled, “I doubt that you can beat Simon Nelson Cook.” 

Mindy grunted, “Oh, let’s see ... the toughest opponent here on the campus has just been eliminated, so it seems to be down to me and Cookie.” She grinned victoriously. 

But I insisted in sending her to the shrink as soon as only possible. “Why are you so sure about Quinn being not a serious competitor?” 

Melinda grinned. “The lass from Seattle is easy to fool. She believes that she is cultivating banapples, but there is no such thing, as bananas are a kind of berries, while the juicy part of apples and other pomes is just accessory tissue.” 

I growled, “how do you know that Quinn’s project is about to fail?” 

Mindy stammered helplessly. 

I thundered, “Have you manipulated her experiments?” 

Mindy went totally pale. But then she admitted, “yeah, her shrub can’t grow any fruits that look like bananas and smell like apples, or so. In fact, I attached fake fruits and replace them once per night, making Quinn believe that there are fruits growing on the bush.” 

I was a bit baffled. “That is not fair.” 

Mindy whistled mischievously. “Ain’t I a genius?” 

I panted heavily, “OK, so either you tell Quinn about this, and then you work together on something that actually works, or ... Claire has got a lot more compromising material.” 

My layman lawyer nodded vigorously. 

Cornered Melinda Crenshaw sighed deeply. 

####  1:6:5:3  Puff Bananas

While I did not understand anything about botanic engineering, I had still been curious about the next project of Mindy and Quinn. 

Indeed, they were up to cultivating a mix of bananas and **puff pepper** ,1:78 a rare and expensive variant of chilli pods that were illegal in the United States because of some toxic substance causing kidney failure and chapped lips. 

According to Quinn and Mindy, both bananas and chilli pods were berries, something completely impossible for me to understand. Crossing bananas and puff peppers was supposed to serve two goals: The resulting fruits should not contain the obnoxious compound of puff peppers. In additions, bananas were a threatened plant because it was only able to reproduce by means of offshoots. The mixing in of pepper’s genetics would make it possible to turn them resistent against pests and parasitic fungi. 

Those were certainly great goals, but were they going to get anywhere with them? 

##  1:7  More Parties

###  1:7:1  Computer’s Choice

####  1:7:1:1  Middle School Ball

Another popular regular party here at Pacific Coast Academy was the annual middle school ball. 

You may wonder how it was possible at a school like ourse that had been reserved for boys until the last academic term to have a tradition of sa middle school ball. 

I had already supposed that half of the boys had been determined to dress as girls, probably by rolling dice, and thse boys had turned intom a joke for the rest of their life. This idea was based on the fact that there had the drama club had employed transvestites for girls’ rôle. I imagined especially Chase in a gown, something that was not as absurd as I had thought. Later, I would come to know that Chase had once been a flower girl at the wedding of his favourite uncle.1:79

But actually, things had not been like this. The school’s administration had invited girls from neighbouring schools in order to fill the gaps, such as Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts, Palmwood Springs, James K. Polk, **Brewster Middle School** ,1:80, **Silver Springs** ,1:81, **Lakewood High** ,1:82, or **`Northridge`**1:83 — just to name a few. 

I was attending once more Bender’s classes, when those got interrupted by alumnus **Todd Evans** and his bride **Debra Peirson**1:84 in order to announce that middle school ball. 

I already wondered whether this ball was going to be boys’ choice or girls’ choice. Whom would I have asked out? Which boy would have asked me out? 

But the rules were different. More precisely, they asked us to fill in some form, and a computer would thereupon make the matches for the school ball. This sounded totally creepy, but I did not mind surprises. At least since the experiences with not really existing Mr. Takato, nothing was able to shock me anymore that much. 

There was of course a deeper reason for this rule: We girls were still a clear minority, and it was once more necessary to fill the gap by recruiting girls from the neighbouring school. Those boys not able to ask out one of use locl girls should not have been disadvantaged by a random choice, and thus the computer test for everyone was a fair yet annoying compromise. 

So, while not fully content with these weird arrangements, I decided to answer the questions honestly. _After all, everything was about getting to know new nice people, wasn’t it?_

####  1:7:1:2  7.1.2 Questions And Answers

Many of the questions were pretty stupid, but OK ... I had been forced to answer worse stuff earlier in my life. 

For Dana, everything was totally easy, as she answered everything in her usually arrogant and tomboyish manner. 

I warned her that she was risking to have to go to the dance with Logan Reese, who was certainly going to answer everything in a similar manner. 

But my roomie was not exactly willing to listen to my objections, and she rudely told me to keep my mouth shut. 

For Nicole, everything was about encountering as many cute boys as possible, so this was an easy game. 

Chase’s demeanour was weird, he was stalking me all the time between during which we were supposed to complete teh questionary? 

Having been alerted by recent events, I supposed that he was trying to find out my answers in order to assure that we would get paired up due to our matching answers. 

That was of course really stupid. 

Logan did not do any such thing, although I had expoected him to do something like that in order to annoy Chase. But maybe he had even talked Chase into behaving like this. 

On the other hand, Chase was probably not the only one to do so. 

Later, Dustin would tell me that some guys had offered him a lot of money for the answers, guessing that he knew what I would answer. But even little brother do not know everything about their elder sisters. So, although he would not have minded the bucks, he would not have been of much assistance. 

####  1:7:1:3  7.1.3 The Results

The computer had already checked the questionaries, spitting out the matches for the ball. 

There was already such a long queue in front of the bulletin board that contained the resulting couples. 

I decided to wait instead of fight my way to the head of the queue, as opposed to the more impatient fellow pupils. 

Quinn was most definitely on the safe side. She was the only one who understood how the computer worked, barring possibly aforementioned Wayne Gilbert. 

Well, Mindy Crenshaw understood it as well, but she was not a middle school kid, and thus of no relevance for the ball. 

Quinn’s boyfriend Mark del Figgalo was too naïve to fill in his sheet, leaving it up to Quinn and allowing her to ensure that they were going to be sent there together. 

Quinn was one jealous fury, not willing to let Mark dance with any other girl. Thus she had to do anything in order to avoid a mistake. 

Nicole was the first of us girls to check the board. She was assigned to one **Nicholas Webber** ,1:85 a bimboish seventh grade guy. 

They would probably talk each other’s ears off in a terrible manner, but they were definitely a totally cute couple. 

Dana had been really reckless when making her way up to the front. Then she took a look at the table. “Trinidad Vega? What the ...” 

But it was not really hard for me to check what had been going on. In order to avoid being assigned to Logan Reese, which would have been possible, as I had remarked before, the reckless tomboy had pretended to be male: Daniel A. Cruz, just like her granduncle for whom she was named. 

It was now not really all that much of a surprise that the computer matched those arrogant furies. 

Well, I supposed that Trina had expected some good looking guy to dance with. 

But now both of them got what they had paid for. 

Logan Reese, by the way, had refrained from submitting his questionary in the last minute, thinking that he was not willing to dance with just one date, because any single girl would have been a waste of his potential which was great enough for dozens of us. 

Dana would have thus been safe from getting assigned to him, but now she had to bear with the consequences of theoretical genderbending. 

Now Michael Barret was in the queue. “Olivary Biallo? Who or what is that? It isn’t even a name, hey!” 

One uttermost weird guy showed up next to him. “Oh Michael! We are together at the school dance!” He totally rhapsodised over this fact. 

**Olivary Biallo**1:86 was definitely not a student here at Pacific Coast Academy. While he appeared like an exotic exchange student, he had to be one of the guests from nearby schools chosen in order to make up for the lack of girls here at our schools. The name was of course most like a fake as much as the story he tried to make Michael believe about himself. But what was the true secret of Olivary Biallo? 

I was now hell bent on finding out. But before anything else, I had to check my own middle school ball date. Being aware of getting permanently stalked by guys trying to steal my answers, I had decided to do the one and only right thing in order to fool those creeps left and right. 

As a consequence, Chase had scribbled lots of crap, and thus he was assigned to someone he did not want to meet. 

His ball partner was a certain **Jennifer Mosely**1:87 from nearby James K. Polk, the same school as aforementioned Claire Sawyer, future lawyer. 

Now I closed my eyes before looking at the name of my assigned middle school ball partner. I was shocked into the next millennium upon reopening them: 

My assigned partner was no other than mystery creep Mr. Takato! 

I almost went unconscious and dropped to the floor. What was going on here? That was a tough question to answer. I was not really supposed to show up at the middle school dance with some senile weirdo, was I? 

####  1:7:1:4  Ball Night

#####  1:7:1:4:1  Almost Alone At The Beach

It was the evening of the long awaited middle school dance. 

I was bound for the beach instead of the dancing floor, wondering why I had been assigned to some old weirdo that was not known to anyone here besides me, and that was definitely not a middle school student. I muttered something like:

> So this was supposed to be an opportunity to come across and get to know more like-minded middle school kids. 
> 
> What, pray tell, did Takato have to do with any of that? 
> 
> The situation was so totally absurd.

Music from the dancing floor was heard until here. 

But suddenly, I heard something completely different from the sweet sound of entertaining disco music: The very voice of Mr. Takato! I was totally close to puking into the gentle waves of the all overwhelming Pacific. 

Takato muttered, “You need to get to know yourself before you really may get to know others.” He grinned sarcastically. 

I choked hard, remebering that this was about the same thing that I had heard him say at the parking lot of the wayside pub before reaching the campus for the start of the academic year. Had I really lost myself, making it necessary to find me again? 

Just as usual, Takato was gone without givibng me the occasion to ask about all the fuss. 

I sighed deeply, but I was not going to spend the whole night watching at the star light reflected by the dancing waves of the sea. 

#####  1:7:1:4:2  Moonlight Dance

I had kept on loitering on the campus for over an hour, looking for my lost self, or whatever Takato had tried to make me think about. 

As I felt lost in the pale moonlight, I saw a figure emerge from the dancing hall. 

The dimming rays of the lamps on the campus reveiled said figure as Olivary Biallo, the dance partner of Michael Barret. Apparently, the dancing evening with Michael had not been as entertaining as it should have been. 

Honestly, it was not possible to fault Michael for that. 

But what was the weird freak here now up to doing? He started saying a few words, as if in a prayer or a trance, while turning his face to the moon up in the sky. Was that an exotic ritual of Olivary’s homelands? 

But something told me that Biallo was way less exotic than he wanted to make us to believe. And then he noticed me. “Mercy, oh Diana, goddess of the moon!” 

“I am Zoey,” replied I, right before remembering that there was such a Roman lunar deity. _OK? was Biallo drunk, or was it just the moonlight that made me look like a moon goddess?_

Biallo fell on his knees, in the dirt near my feet, and he begged me to listen to his prayers, because he had always been a faithful servant to the moon. 

Should I have played his game? Or was it better to try to talk some sense into him? I decided to let it have been this way. “How about a moonshine dance, in order to celebrate this lunatic night?” 

After all, it was middle school ball night, and for neither of us it had been yet a pleasant experience. 

Biallo did not really feel worthy of dancing with the moon goddess, but he finally chimed in enthusiastically. 

This was definitely my hitherto weirdest night at Pacific Coast Academy. 

But who was Olivary Biallo really? 

###  1:7:2  The Last Party

####  1:7:2:1  Term Finals

My first year here at Pacific Coast Academy was about to come to an end, and this meant a lot of exams. Unfortunately, I did not only have to prepare for my own tests, but also to help many others with theirs. For example, I needed to help Dustin with his geometry classes. 

My baby brother needed to know the formula for calculating the area of some figures. 

Unfortunately, I had not noticed that he was just feigning and did not really need my help. In addition, I had promised mom to help him whenever possible, and I was not willing to disappoint her. 

After all, Dustin was not only the best in his classes, he was also in the algebra team of Pacific Coast Academy, which had almost won the state county finals. 

Too late I noticed that there was only one reason for him to request my support. 

Dustin asked me something on the lines of “Will you tell me where the little babies come from when I know the answer?” 

Only now it was clear that the whole tutoring stuff had been but a farce. 

He had only begged for me tutoring him in order to find an occasion to ask me that troublesome question. 

Of course this was a really awkward thing for an elder sister to explain to her little brother, who was by no means any longer an innocent little boy, no matter what I had always tried to fool myself into believing. 

In addition, the whole finals stuff stressed me a lot. 

Michael Barret was the worst of all idiots. He never listened to what I was trying to explain him. Little wonder he had been trashed by Olivary Biallo at the middle school dance. 

Even Quinn needed help, because she sucked in French, or so she tried to fool me into believing. But, actually, she just needed me in order to tell her dad that she had trashed his expensive car with her experiments. She was too much of a coward to do it herself. 

Logan just abused getting tutored in order to boast with his excessive vanity. It was about literature, and he had written a jerkish poem about himself he wanted to make me listen to. 

Nicole ... it was better to not talk about her, was it? She was so totally unable to concentrate on the tutoring lessons whenever a cute boy walked past us. That was just her nature, so I was better off bearing with it. 

Dana was as abrasive as usual. But she seemed to have been able to get along with Trina Vega alias Rebecca during the dances. 

####  1:7:2:2  Mystic Beach

#####  1:7:2:2:1  Traditional Party

Traditionally, the end of the academic year was celebrated at Pacific Coast Academy with a little beach party over at **Mystic Beach** ,1:88 some dozens of miles away from Pacific Coast Academy. 

Frankly spoken, I did not know exactly where it was located. 

But now you may ask: “Pacific Coast Academy had got a beach on its own right, so why not celebrate right there?” 

Basically, our campus beach was too small, and the dunes were interspersed with a few rocks that made it unsuitable for hosting a big beach party for all students. 

This was the last day of the exams, and immediately thereafter, we were going to board the busses rigged and ready for taking us to Mystic Beach. All it took us was now to pass the exams and then rush for the party! 

#####  1:7:2:2:2  Coconut Flavoured

Quinn had been done early with her science test, and, as a cobsequence, she had had enough time to brew some fun stuff in the laboratory. 

Dustin was with us, although he should have been with his fellows from elementary school, but he had got a super special permission from Mr. Bender, making me responsible for him in some sense. 

Oh well, I was probably up to that task, although my class pals would have preferred to do without him. 

And now Quinn wanted all of us to sniffle her potion: Nicole Bristow, Dana Cruz, Michael Barret, Logan Reese, Chase Matthews, Dustin, and me. 

Fortunately, I was now careful enough not to trust her blindly, as I would have done had I not gone through all the horror with the appearances of Takato. For that reason, I refused to sniffle, as opposed to all the others. 

Dana deemed me a coward, Nicole wondered why I did not want to inhale sweet scents of cute boys, Quinn called me a spoiler, and the boys were absolutely no better. 

So, I was the only one to refrain from sniffling the coconut stuff, and thenI sw they drop asleep, all of them, one by one, right in front of my eyes. 

In other words, Quinn’s coconut flavoured essence was a narcotic. 

So ... what was I now supposed to do? I was impossibly able to carry all of them to the busses right in time before the departure of the last of them. And I had no glue as of how long it would last until the narcotic’s effects expired. Somehow, this reminded me of earlier inventions of the geek princess from Seattle, such as the infamous sleeping bomb. 

Informing the infirmary was not a great idea, either, as none of us kids could bear the evil nurse. And if they woke up, they would kill me for getting them treated over there. 

On the other hand, without help, my pals would possible never have woken up again, or so I feared. 

So, where was Takato when needed? Maybe he was the only one to give me a hint. Oops, there he was, apparently appearing from the middle of the land of nowhere. “You can’t wake up your friends before you have learned to wake up yourself!” 

I coughed, although I should have expected him to say something like that. Well, in the case of Dustin, I had to do something, otherwise I would have upset my mother. 

She had not been really keen on hearing about Dustin’s sleep withdrawal back around spring fling time. 

So waiting for having learned to wake up myself was not really an option in this case, regardless of whatever Takato tried to tell me. 

I looked around, and I was no longer able to see the weirdo. Bear with it! Business as usual! 

#####  1:7:2:2:3  Reinforcements

I had tried to shake my baby brother awake, but for no avail. I needed to tell his class mates about the whole mess, though, such as aforementioned Jack Ross. For that reason, I rushed down the campus, catching a group of elementary school kids. 

But Melinda Crenshaw stood in my way. “Brooks, what are you doing? Don’t you know it is dangerous when everyone is running across the campus like an idiot?” 

I tried hard to explain the situation, including the coconut flavoured oil. 

Mindy shook her head. “Aw, I knew that Quinn was going to mix this potion ...” 

I looked up. “You know the details about her project? Do you know a counter medic?” 

Mindy nodded solemnly, and she wanted to talk about the details involving advanced biochemistry. This was of course too much nerd talk for a little blond Mary Sue like me. 

I told her to hurry up. “Then you may explain everything unto Quinn!” 

Mindy shrugged. “OK, whatever ... I need some stuff from a janitor’s closet.” 

#####  1:7:2:2:4  The Awakening

And, indeed, Mindy did what she had promised. By making Quinn sniffle some mixture of chemicals, she was able to wake her up on site. 

Thereupon, the two geek girls worked together on awakening the others, one by one: Dana, Nicole, Chase, Logan, Michael, and — last but not least — Dustin. 

But now Quinn and Mindy started disputing about a bunch of scientific details. 

The rest of us were happy to sneak away in order to catch the next bus to Mystic Beach, leaving the nerds behind in the study hall. 

That was quite some excitement. 

But now we were bound for the biggest beach party of the year! We had totally deserved it. 

This was my first year at this wonderful boarding school. I hoped that the next year would be even a lot cooler, but I could not know for sure. 

* * *

1:1
    for prompt _That_ _’_ _s Life_
1:2
     from _Zoey 101_
1:3
     setting from _Zoey 101_
1:4
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Prank Week_ , with a surname from same actor’s part in some third-party product 
1:5
    from _Zoey 101_
1:6
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Good-Bye, Zoey_ , with a first name from same actress’s part in some third-party owned work 
1:7
    from _Zoey 101_ : _Pilot_ , with a first name from same actress’s part in some third-party owned work 
1:8
    from _Zoey 101_ : _Chasing Zoey_
1:9
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _A date For Quinn_! 
1:10
     setting from _Zoey 101_
1:11
     from _Zoey 101_
1:12
     setting from _Zoey 101_ , esp. _Robot Wars_
1:13
     from _Zoey 101_ , season 1 – 2 
1:14
    from _Zoey 101_ , season 1 
1:15
    from _Zoey 101_
1:16
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Spring Breakup_ and _Logan Gets Cur Off_
1:17
     from _Zoey 101_
1:18
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Pilot_
1:19
     from _Zoey 101_
1:20
     setting from _Zoey 101_
1:21
     several appearances in _Zoey 101_ , with a surname from some part of the same actor in a third-party owned work 
1:22
    regular from _Zoey 101_
1:23
     several appearances in _Zoey 101_ , starting with _Robot Wars_
1:24
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Quinn’s Alpaca_ et alibi, with a surname from same actress’s part in some third-party owned work 
1:25
     regular of _Zoey 101_
1:26
     from _Drake & Josh_: _Little Diva_
1:27
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Webcam_
1:28
     mentioned in _Zoey 101_ : _Webcam_
1:29
     from _The iCarly Show_ : _iBeat The Heat_ , identified with same actor’s anonymous part in _Zoey 101_ : _Anger Management_
1:30
     identifies Lowe from some _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_ episodes and Lenny from _Drake & Josh_: _Foam Fingers_
1:31
     setting of _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_
1:32
     for prompt _Sculpture_
1:33
     concept from _Big Time Rush_ : _Big Time Pranks_
1:34
     from _Drake & Josh_: _The Bet_ et alibi 
1:35
     mentioned in _Zoey 101_ : _Prank Week_
1:36
     regular of _Zoey 101_
1:37
     allusion to a team within Nickelodeon responsible for _Zoey 101_ et alia 
1:38
     from _The iCarly Show_ : _iHeart Art_
1:39
     from _The iCarly Show_
1:40
     various appearances and mentions throughout _Zoey 101_
1:41
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Jet-X_
1:42
     conversation based off the **doctor mode** of the **GNU Emacs** by Richard M. Stallman 
1:43
     brand from _Zoey 101_ and _The iCarly Show_
1:44
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Jet-x_
1:45
     site mentioned in _The iCarly Show_
1:46
     both Rebecca from _Zoey 101_ : _Surprise_ et alibi, and Trina Vega from _Victorious_
1:47
     from _Victorious_
1:48
     from _Big Time Rush_
1:49
     from _Zoey 101_ : _The Play_ and _Bucket & Skinner_ _’_ _s Epic Adventures_ : _Epic Musical_
1:50
     from _Victorious_ : _Tori The Zombie_
1:51
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Haunted House_ et alibi 
1:52
     spoof off third-party owned show _Big Bang Theory_
1:53
     from _Zoey 101_ , season 2 – 4 
1:54
    from _Drake & Josh_, and also same actor’s appearance in _Zoey 101_ : _Springfling_
1:55
     from _Drake & Josh_
1:56
    cf. _Drake & Josh_: _The Guitar_
1:57
     cf. _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_ : _Car Wash_
1:58
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Spring Fling_
1:59
     Wendy Gellar 
1:60
    from _Drake & Josh_: _Number One Fan_
1:61
     from _Drake & Josh_
1:62
    cf. an unportrayed Wendy mentioned in _Zoey 101_ : _Lola Likes Chase_! 
1:63
     alludes to some third-party owned song by Miranda Cosgrove 
1:64
    Third-party owned song by Drake Bell 
1:65
    from _Drake & Josh_: _Honor Council_ et alibi 
1:66
     by Drake Bell 
1:67
    from _Unfabulous_ , also anonymous cameo in _Drake & Josh_: _Honor Council_
1:68
     cf. _Godparent Faeries_ by Scott Fellows 
1:69
     for prompt _Strange Fruits_
1:70
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Backpack_! 
1:71
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _A Date For Quinn_
1:72
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Backpack_ , identified with Mindy Crenshaw 
1:73
    from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_
1:74
     setting from _Drake & Josh_
1:75
    from various episodes of _Drake & Josh_
1:76
    from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_
1:77
     from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_
1:78
     cf. _Drake & Josh_: _Peruvian Puff Pepper_
1:79
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Zoey_ _’_ _s Balloon_! 
1:80
     from _How To Rock_
1:81
     from _Just Jordan_
1:82
     from _The Troop_
1:83
     mentioned throughout _Victorious_ , identified with Eastridge from _Big Time Rush_ : _Big Time Break_
1:84
     both of them in _Zoey 101_ : _School Dance_ , with surnames from same actors’ parts in third-party owned works 
1:85
    from _Zoey 101_ : _School Dance_
1:86
     from _Zoey 101_ : _School Dance_ , also Crony from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_
1:87
     from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_
1:88
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Little Beach Party_! 


	2. Second Year

#  Chapter 2  Second Year

##  2:1  Fall At PCA

###  2:1:1  New Student Lola

####  2:1:1:1  The End Of Summer

Our summer break was about to end. On the one hand, this meant that we had to go back to classes after several weeks of fun. On the other hand, I had also missed most of my school comrads badly, especially Nicole, Chase, and Michael.

Oops, while I was thinking about Chase, he was already stumbling down some staircase with his bike. He was just too much of a dork.

This was the start of high school, which meant more responsibilities and more challenges than middle school.

We high school girls were no longer accomodated in good old Butler Hall, but we had to move into **Brenner Hall**. Like all halls here at Pacific Coast Academy, it was named in the memory of one of the sponsors that had contributed most to it. I wondered who had been Mr. Brenner? The answer, to be discovered over a year later, was hidden in the early history of Pacific Coast Academy, or, rather, some section of it which I would be forced to discover later on.

My baby brother Dustin was very busy carrying some cardboard boxes huger than himself. He had practised this during the summer break, about twelve hours each day. The reason for doing so was that he was hired on and by Logan Reese as an errand boy. As was well-known, Dustin needed moneyt for candy and for video games, and he was paid well by Logan — or so he thought it. Alas, he had to pay some other sort of price for it, as would be seen later on. But what exactly was he carrying around in those cardboard boxes?

Soon enough, it would turn out that Logan Reese had ordered and obtained a complete new high fidelity station, complete with boom boxes, game spheres,2:1 and many more.

It was Dustin’s job to carry those devices from the parking lot to the new residence hall of the high school guys in **Maxwell Hall**.2:2

####  2:1:1:2  The New Dormitory Room

#####  2:1:1:2:1  Big Sister’s Watching You

Once more, I was forced to share a room with Dana and Nicole, which was probably ending up in as much havoc as last year.

Unfortunately, Lowe had been particularly unsuccessful in preventing Dana from being permanently mean to Nicole.

Now there was another surprise, and that was even worse.

There was a big flatscreen attached to one of our dormitory room walls, and there were no buttons or switches to control it, even less a remote control device. Making the mess perfect, the screen activated itself, and Quinn Pensky appeared in front of our face, asking us whether we were able to see her brain through her nostrils.

Honestly, I should have told her that we saw only some hairs inside her nose.

Quinn explained that she had installed this two way television system in both of our dorms. She was the only one able to turn it on and off.

This sounded no good, as it enabled our geek girl next door to control and to watch us like in all those totalitarian movies by G. Orwell.

The question was now whether Quinn still had got a room on her own.

Currently, this was the case, but new students had not yet been completely assigned. So there was still some kind of surprise in it.

#####  2:1:1:2:2  Quinn’s New Roomie

And there was the new girl. Well, she was not really new for us. Really, it was no other than Gloria Victoria de la Vega y Martinez, the girl that had already visited us twice, side by side with her elder sister Rebecca Trinidad, who, by the way, was also a new student here at Pacific Coast Academy since the start of the very same academic year.

But was this a nice surprise, or rather some sort of a shock? Honestly, in that moment, I was not able to tell.

Well, after all, she was Quinn’s new room mate, and not mine.

There was a bunch of other new students, especially girls, but we were still a minority.

####  2:1:1:3  Overpowered

#####  2:1:1:3:1  Horrible Noise

Not much later, I crossed the campus, accompanied by Nicole.

There had been a few changes to the arrangements, though.

Nicole had moved in with Quinn and Lola, because she wanted to get desperately rid of Dana, and she felt safer with Lola, for some stupid reason, than with Quinn alone.

Now I was worried a bit about Dustin, thinking that he was about being abused by Logan for a few bucks. Approaching the entrance of the boys’ new residence in Maxwell Hall, I was hit by a wallowing wave of terrible noise. Entering said building, it was not too hard for me to figure the reasons for the horrible mayhem.

With Dustin’s help, Logan had established a more than complete stereo centre and video game station.

I wanted to complain about his abuse of Dustin.

But my little brother was of a different opinion. “It is OK, sis, Logan has paid me already, and now I may play the new space invasion game. I am already level 20. I want to make it to the ultimate bonus level, and you don’t need to watch.”

I shrugged.

Many guys were here in this room, celebrating the start of the new academic year with the biggest drop day party — ever! And this turmoil added to the sound of music, producing the horrible noise heard across the campus.

Not all inhabitants were happy about this situation. This was especially the case for Chase and Michael, who had to prepare for an important test in geography they would have to participate soon.

Last year, they had flunked badly in that subject, probably due to Logan’s fault who had not seriously learned with them, and unless they performed well during this term, they would get expelled from Pacific Coast Academy.

For Logan, this was not a problem, because his dad was one of the most important sponsors of the school, and he was allowed to have bad marks whenever he wanted, but he was an exception in that context.

Chase and Michael decided to spend their first night elsehere.

Coco Wexler, who was still our dormitory adviser, was a great fan of camping trips,2:3

Chase and Michael were up to borrowing them for the night.

Nicole and I returned to our residence hall, but not without admonishing Dustin to be back to bed before ten o’ clock. The dorm advisers were probably not yet able to control strictly, because the residence lists were still not completely written. But this did not mean that I would allow my baby brother to stay awake until early next morning.

#####  2:1:1:3:2  The Blackest Night

So, I was now left alone with Dana in my dormitory room.

It was late at night, but the lamps on the campus were still shinging brightly.

Suddenly, there was a bang, and all lights went down, and the same was valid with the two way TV screen that Quinn had installed, and that had allowed me to talk to Lola and Nicole next door.

I looked consternated.

The next moment, Nicole stood near our door, complaining about the power failure. “Without light, I can’t fix my hair, and then I don’t know whether it is sitting well on my head. And then I can’t show off to the cute boys passing by our window.”.

I opened the door for my former room mate, and I let her and Quinn in.

The geek girl from Seattle had got an explanation. She had studied the power supplies of our campus, and she gave a scientific explanation of the reasons of our power failure.

Of course I as not able to understand even half of her talk.

Quinn had fortunately got some emergency light, consisting in a plastic stick that could be bent, starting to glow thereupon for a few hours.

I picked one of them, because I had to go and look for Dustin.

My baby brother was impossibly able to make it back to his doremitory room in the darkness.

And Jack Ross had just told me on the cellular phone that Dustin was still missing.

#####  2:1:1:3:3  Bonus Level

Finally, I had found Dustin in Logan’s lounge.

My brother was in an excessively stinky mood. “I was so close to beating all regular levels, and then the stupid power failure ...”

Of course it was the fault of the entertainment systemn which had totally overburdened the power supplies.

Now I started guiding Dustin back to his room, but I also knew that Quinn was already contacting Mindy for plans in order to stabilise the power system here at Pacific Coast Academy in order to make it able to handle future cases like this one.

On our way to Dustin’s dormitory room, we met the tents of Chase and Michael, who had built two of them, but were actually sharing one, leaving the other one empty.

This looked a bit weird, and I wondered whether there was a reason for it.

Dustin begged, “may I sleep in the empty tent?”

Chase and Michael groaned, “sure, just feel like at home.”

I was not sure whether to allow Dustin to do as planned or not, but it was hard to dissuade Dustin from this.

My brother had been camping during the summer break with uncle Glazer, and he was a big fan of it, except one thing ... He unzipped the tent, snuck in, and started howling like a storm wind.

There was a little bug hidden in the tent, and the same beast had already scared Michael out of there, making him and Chase share the other tent instead.

Dustin was still totally afraid of bugs, and so he ran straight into my arms. “Zoey! Carry me back to my dormitory room!”

I shrugged and started to carry him in my arms. Panting heavily, I moved on.

Dustin was now already asleep.

OK, this was a somewhat weird start into the new academic year. But it would soon get better, or so we hoped.

###  2:1:2  Shadows Growing

####  2:1:2:1  First Months Of High School

My first months of High School had been really exciting.

For example, Bender had made us contribute to some time capsule after we had discovered an old yearbook of this school and started wondering about what future generations of students at Pacific Coast Academy would come to think about us.2:4

Nicole had contributed her favourite tanktop, letting future students know what we kids were wearing.

Michael and Chase had written a song about their impressions of Pacific Coast Academy after three years.

Logan, of course, contributed a picture of himself, as he thought himself as god’s gift to the girls of this world, and he imagined that it was not fair to exclude future generations of female Pacific Coast Academy students from the pleasure of being thoroughly familiar with his extremely hot looks.

Dana had contributed her old skateboard, as she was up to buying a new one, anyways, in order to participate in the state championships. She also donated part of her cheerio equipment, as the school had decided in favour of some new outfit, designed by me.

Lola had not contributed anything, because she was secure in the knowledge that kids of the next generation would be perfectly familiar with her life and her times from her many Oscar-awarded movies and interviews in the major journals, TV shows, and web presences. “The next generation is growing up with me as their screen idol.” In my ears, she started sounding almost as arrogant as her elder sister, Rebecca. And in order to get around the assignment, Lola invented a poor excuse, making Bender believe that her grandmother had just died, and that the thing she would have wanted to sacrifice for the time capsule would have been a gift from her. Parting with this valuable memory would thus have been very painful.

Indeed, Bender had swallowed Lola’s perfect farce without a trace of suspicion.

I had contributed a video about my life at Pacific Coast Academy.

Chase appeared strangely interested in the secret contents of the video.

Of course, I know now why this had been the case, but I did not understand his completely weird demeanour back then.

Little later, Chase’s actions were even more weird when we were competing for a place in the student council.2:5

Desperate enough, both of us retured from the whole mess, letting Mark del Figgalo win. This was really weird, of course, but we all had to bear with it.

####  2:1:2:2  Halloween

#####  2:1:2:2:1  Fench Visitors

Fall was progressing more and morte, finally reaching the end of October, which meant in particular Halloween, the night of hollowed pumpkins and costumes.

I had used to dress as Marilyn Monroe during the previous years, but after the encounters with Rebecca Martinez, this appeared to me an absolutely lame and tasteless disguise.

Nicole was up to dressing as Dorothy from Frank Baum’s modern fairy tale _Wizard Of Oz_. This appeared to her appropriate, because both Nicole and Dorothy were from the state of Kansas. She also wanted an axe stuck in her back.

I had been in charge with designing that costume for my room mate.

Dana crossdressed as a grumpy monster with some ugly properties that I do not want to talk about.

Quinn, on the other hand, was going to dress as one of her greatest idols: **Arthur Einstein** , one of the greatest physicists of the previous century, or something like that. She told us that he had conceived something known as **theory of relativity** , but this information was of relatively little value for me — bear with it! She had also forced her mindless boyfriend Mark del Figgalo to dress as an Egyptian mummy, and she did not tolerate anyone else on the campus to dress that way.

The victim was a certain **Timothy Jensen** ,2:6 some cute senior guy Nicole was totally hankering after.

Lola was absent during these days, and I had not known why, but she claimed that it had to do a lot with her career as a future Hollywood star.

Malcolm Reese would soon not have another choice but casting her for one of his next success movies, allowing her to harvest her first Oscar still as a teenage girl.

Logan was into a different project. He was responsible for the **Haunted Mansion** : a walk through a ghost house organised traditionally by our high school freshmen for the elementary school kids.

Dustin was among the kids ready for the spooky house, and he was scared easily, something which made me worry.

Logan would probably go out of his way in order to scare the kids to death, more or less at least. This was already evident when he scared us girls wiuth a fake wound, squirting theatre blood all over our food. With such a mindset, Logan was certainly able to cause permanent emotional dysfinctions of my little brother and other elementary and middle school boys.

I felt the need to intervene and try to beat Logan with his own weapons.

Michael Barret was about to dress as a zombie or something similarly scary.

Chase’s case, on the other hand, was a whole lot weirder. He was dressed like some variety magician, but he feigned being a vampire. Of course he was in absolutely no way able to fool me or any other careful viewer.

Well, I was ready to make plans to stop Logan. I wanted to persuade Dustin and his aforementioned pal Jacob Ross to feign being kidnapped by demons or something spooky in Logan’s mansion, making Logan horribly afraid. But then things went totally awry.

The same day, two visitors from France had shown up on the campus, and I had greeted them nicely in French.2:7 Those were **Monique and André Chaument** ,2:8 whom I was familiar with from their school’s interweb site. They were directing a famous boarding school near Paris, the French capital, a school I had once considered for an exchange student program.

More precisely, I had been very close to getting Dana sent over there in order to protect Dustin from her bullying.

But the arrival of no other than Doc Lowe had changed my plans and made me get my unruly room mate sent into anger management instead.

OK, and now the Chauments had asked Dean Rivers to grant them a guide through the campus, and that guide was no other than me. Given my diverging plans, these were no good news, but telling Rivers that I had to pull a vicious prank on Logan Reese as an excuse for refusing the honour of guiding important foreign visitors was not really an option.

#####  2:1:2:2:2  Campus Guide

OK, so everything was now ready for the big campus guide. Strangely, I had got the impression that André Chaumont was not really a teacher or something, but much more of a spy.

OK, so ... what would Takato have said? “Have you already spied on yourself?” Well, after all, that was a bit confusing.

But the trip went on. Crossing the campus, we met Michael.

Monique was certainly not familiar with Halloween disguises, and so she mistook Michael’s masquerade for the wounds of a badly injured boys, and she incited André to catch him and to take him to the next hospital.

Why was Michael not in the haunted mansion, anyways in order to assist Logan? Well, I would later on hear that Logan had sent him back to the campus square in order to await a delivery van with more supplies for the haunted house. Of course, Logan may as well have invented such a lie in order to get rid of Michael Barret for some reason.

In any case, if there had een really such a van, nobody would have been there in order to receive it and to check the contents.

But now back to the current situation of Michael.

I had to tell the Chaumonts about our tradition of Hollywood disguises.

Monique finally gave in and let Michael do whatever he was up to doing.

A few minutes later, Nicole Bristow crossed our way. Once more, she scared the French visitors because of the axe stuck in her back.

I had to explain that it was not a real axe, and just a costume. In order to make it clear, I had to stop Nicole and show that it was all masquerade. I told the visitors about the _Wizard Of Oz_ , and I had to explain that I had sewed the dress on my own, including the fake axe which was just sewed into the textile fabric and sprayed with some red colour, making it look like a bleeding wound.

Nicole was not pleased by my intervention, “I was following Tim in order to drag him into a silent corner and smooch the living hell out of him. He is so cute!”

Well, neither Nicole nor knew that Tim was really Mark del Figgalo, for we had not read Quinn’s blog in which she had announced that she was not allowing anyone else to dress as a mummy.

But it would not have been a nice thing of Nicole anyways. If Tim had liked her, he would have told her earlier on.

Nicole sighed deeply.

Then I told Nicole to return to the haunted mansion and try to stop Logan before his horror mansion killed anyone.

If my pal had actually caught the mummy and tried to kiss Mark del Figgalo, Quinn would certainly have become awfully jealous and tried to kill her.

The guide was now coming to an end, after having checked out Kazu’s Sushi Rox and the infirmary.

#####  2:1:2:2:3  Blank Horror

Now I was hell bent on taking care of the haunted hall, in order to save Dustin and his friends from total misery. Alas, I was shocked more than possible upon my arrival.

**Nils Jacobsen** ,2:9 a middle school boy known for his talents as a violinist, had passed out on site, and he needed to be taken to the infirmary.

Fortunately, Monique Chaumont was now familiar with the location of this nurse’s station, and she was able to take the injured victims over there.

But this was just the start of a more extended and thoroughgoing string of horrors.

Dustin had survived, and he was awake and not injured, but he screamed like a fury, totally intimidated by Logan’s organised horror trip through the rooms of the night gaunt.

I looked consternated. Inspite of knowing Dustin as fearsome — under certain circumstances, I had never see him in such a state of confused frenzy.

Jacob Ross, trembling through and through, stammered that there was a murderous vampire in the mansion. “It scared the living daylights out of Dustin. And it even bit the bushy dork ... drawing blood!”

I gasped. “Chase? Is he OK?”

Jacob shrugged.“A walking skeleton scared me before I could check whether anyone has already died in there.”

I coughed noisily, wondering what had happened to Nicole, for I had expected her to scream at least as loud as usual. Maybe — or so I feared — she was no longer able to scream.

Dana walked my way. Even after being asked, she denied that there was anything scary going on in the mansion. “It was so totally lame! Nothing reallyy exciting at all ...”

I better took a look myself.

And there was Nicole, lying lifeless on the floor, buried by the equally unconscious body of Lucy Senner,2:10 a middle school girl that was hanging out often with Jacob Ross and Dustin.

This fact underscores how much Dustin’s room mate was terrified, for otherwise he would have cared totally about Lucy.

I tried to call for Monique’s help again in order to get the victims cared for. I could not care about the fact that our nurse was a perverted dragon. I was even close to calling uncle Glazer for help who was probably loitering in Los Angeles on some Halloween party somewhere.

Then I also found Chase, with a bleeding wound near his collarbone.

The bushy dweeb was not unconscious, but still totally consternated. Masked as a vamoire, although — as aforementioned — incredibly poorly, he reported that he had been bit by a vampire. “She told me that I was an embarrassment for the whole profession, looking more like an illusionist than a vampire, and then she bit me and sucked my blood. That hurt! Ouch!”

But where had that bloody vampire been coming from?

And there was also some skeleton, somewhere in the mansion?

#####  2:1:2:2:4  Treatment

The infirmary was filling steadily.

Doc Lowe would soon have to treat some of the victims who were now suffereing from conditions much worse than those I had been subject to when feeling permanently stalked by not so existing Takato.

Fortunately, the dragon of a nurse was not here.

**Shannon Holman**2:11 was a new auxiliary nurse, jumping in for her evil colleague. But she was totally overburdened by the huge mass of the victims of Logan’s haunted halls.

Of course, Monique Chaumont was by absolutely no means pleased by the ongoing struggles. “So this is Halloween? I will have to outlaw any such event at my school, as strictly as only possible!”

This conclusion appeared now justified to me. In order to make Shannon’s job easier, I decided to inform my uncle Glazer, letting him treat the poor victims.

####  2:1:2:3  All Saints’ Day

The night of horror was now all over. I was sitting in my lounge.

Trinidad Vega walked in. “Why did Logan have to choose my ungifted sister? I would have been really rocked as a creature of the darkness.”

I choked. “Logan did what?”

Trina stammered:

> Logan has hired Lola and Ashley Blake for the haunted mansion as creatures of the night, for the movie he was making in the spooky house.
> 
> But I am more talented than Lola and should have been chosen for the vampiress, and not my sister.

OK, so Logan had abused this party in order to make a movie, and he has used all the clueless kids, including Dustin, Chase, and Nicole, as involuntary and uninformed background characters, in order to provide for a more realistic picture of blank terror?

And it would now be necessary to talk some stern words to Lola.

So, those were the scenes for a horror movie she was auditioning or practising for. The pretty Latina had most definietly gone out of her way by biting Chase, drawin blood.2:12 It had been her task to scare the kids, and not to hurt them directly physically.

And of course Logan’s action appeared now in an even more deprecable light. Forgiving him any more evil deed was now no longer an option. I did not really know what to do with him, but it was obvious for me that I had to do something on the long run.

####  2:1:2:4  Lola’s Reaction

Lola Martinez had just returned to our dormitory hall in Brenner Hall.

I made her talk about the event.

“Trina is just envious and may be ignored.” Thus spoke the future Hollywood star.

“That’s all you have to say?” I panted heavily. “What about biting Chase, drawing blood?”

Lola coughed. “It tastes a bit too salty ...”

I better gave up for the moment. _Such a demeanour was really absurd._

Dean Rivers had already started investigations. But he was likely to let the whole thing rest in turn for yet another donation made by Malcolm Reese.

I was thoroughly disappointed by Lola, and I was not sure whether I would ever be able to forgive her that action.

##  2:2  Unpleasant Winter Weeks

###  2:2:1  Trisha Kirby

####  2:2:1:1  Bad Girlfriend

#####  2:2:1:1:1  Shocking News

I was known as the overprotective elder sister of Dustin Brooks, and I had often gone out of my way in order to protect him from dangers he was not even aware of. Unfortunately, I had neglected him a bit during the times when he had been bullied by some **Keith Finch**2:13 and by my room mate Dana, because I had been distracted for other reasons. But I would have loved to get Dana and Keith expelled for their evilness. Only Takato’s words of wisdom had prevented me from doing so. Thus I had just got them sent to anger management, under the custody of school shrink Lowe.

One day, I was strolling the campus, and I met my brother again, in the company of two of his friends: aforementioned Jack Ross, and Maximilian Tebbe.2:14

After a few words, it turned out that Dustin had got a girlfriend.

Of course I needed to know who it was, as I could impossibly tolerate him dating a girl with some bad influence on him.

Alas, my worst fears turned true: His new girlfriend was a certain **Trisha Kirby**2:15 from Seattle. Trisha was elder than Dustin by two years, and there was absolutely no way around concluding that she was the worst possible choice for him in this quarter of the galaxy. She had already skrewed up with other boys and broken hearts and bones every now and then, here and there. Obviously, she did not take school serious in any way. As I would learn later on, her real name was **Samantha Pucket**.

Quinn appeared to have known her from earlier times, but she was not willing to talk about their common history.

Samantha Puckett was not alone at Pacific Coast Academy, she was accompanied by her monozygotic twin sister **Melanie Puckett**.2:16

The latter was dressed and styled a lot differently, making it hard to confuse the two of them on a regular base. Melanie was rather popular and a decent student, and she was the captain of our increasingly powerful cheerio team.

So, if Dustin had to choose a girlfriend two years older than himself, he should have stuck with Melanie instead of her evil twin sister. But he had to disappoint me that badly. Why did he have to do this? Was he just trying to get me upset? No, in that case, he would not have tried at all to hide her from me, but confronted me right on site with his choice of a girl.

#####  2:2:1:1:2  Lab Classes

So how had the unholy union of my baby brother and the blond devil known as Samantha Puckett started?

Henry Nolston,2:17 a pal of Dustin, reported back to me:

> Two days ago, we were in chemistry classes in our laboratory.
> 
> Our teacher, **Mr. Gangrel** ,2:18 needed to walk out for some reason.
> 
> Last week, I was assigned Trisha as my laboratory partner, but that was impossible.
> 
> Trisha is really Satan with a blond wig. She does by no means respect the laboratory rules, and she is always up to causing terrible explosions and other bad accidents ... just for the heck of it.
> 
> I was unable to handle such a walking disaster.
> 
> For that reason, Gangrel reassigned the tasks, making me switch with Dustin.
> 
> I was of course relieved when being assigned Jack Ross as my lab partner.
> 
> Dustin was chosen because he was the most responsible of all kids ... little wonder with such an example of an elder sister.
> 
> In Gangrel’s absence, Trisha, or Samantha, started seducing and abusing Dustin in the most perverted manner.

Henry was closed to puking, which was very much understandable, and there was definitely no sense in letting him continue with his report.

The only conclusion was that I had to do something about it and get someone to talk some sense into Dustin, but I was certainly not able to do that on my own.

#####  2:2:1:1:3  What to do?

As I remembered painfully, it was not easy to intervene in Dustin’s affairs, especially if he wanted to appear all grown up and cool. It was necessary to find someone else to do the dirty work for me. I tried to send Chase ahead and make him dissuade Trisha from dating Dustin any longer.

Chase was not easy to persuade, although he usually begged me on his knees to let him do some slave jobs for me, but he was obviously thinking that I was way too overprotective.

Given the fact that Chase was messing up things easily, as I had learned during the last months, I decided to drop the idea of sending Chase into the battle arena as my henchman in order to break Dustin and Trisha apart.

####  2:2:1:2  The Skunk

The same day, Michael Barret and Logan Reese had made a not so pleasant encounter with another little mammal on the campus: a skunk. They had heard rumours behind some shrubs and expected a cute kitten to hide in there. Upon taking a closer look, they figured their mistake, but it was too late, meaning that they had been covered immediately with some hell of a penetrant stink, pesting up any room they were in.

Of course most of us people were busy avoiding them.

Fortunately, Dustin had not known about the skunk, for he was still terrified by animals of that size, especially the mutant squirrels that roamed our campus.

Chase was also afraid of some similar beasts such as racoons.2:19

Fortunately for him, there had not been any of them on the campus when he and Michael spent a whole night in a tent out there due to the horrible noise caused by Logan’s entertainment station.

Quinn was now busy inventing a means against the stench of the skunk, but — or so I feared — she was hardly able to do so without involving horrible side effects.

Fortunately, Mindy supported Quinn’s research. She was less prone to mistakes and more careful.

Both of them were working on a solution for the aforementioned problem of limited power supplies of our campus, and they were not exactly keen on getting interrupted during their research, but it was now really necessary.

The stink was creeping across the whole campus.

And now I remembered that the school of aforementioned Claire Sawyer was haunted by some weasel, which was something similar to a skunk, but without the horrible stench. I decided to ask her about what to do there.

At the same time, Michael and Logan had triewd to deploy some traditional remedies, such as tomato juice, but they were dumb enough to drink it instead of bathing in it.

The cafeteria would not be pleased when noticing that the whole supply for tomato juice was now all but gone.

####  2:2:1:3  The Weasel Hunter

The next day, Claire Sawyer showed up on our campus. “Zoey Brooks, I have to introduce our custodian to you: This is **Robert Gordon** alias **Gordy**!”2:20

I shook hands with the guy of forty years clad like an average custodian, that is in that blue suit. “OK, if you get rid of the skunk, I will design a special outfit for you, the most fashionable custodian’s suit — ever!”

Gordy grinned and nodded. “OK! Weasel hunter Gordy is in your service!” He unpacked something he called a weasel stun gun. As skunks and weasels were very similar, the same equipment was certainly also going to work with the stinking little beast. He also unpacked a weasel hunting net and some weasel traps. “Recently, Jerry Crony had tried to make some fashionable outfit for me, but he did not have the time to finish it.” He sighed deeply.

I wondered: “Who, pray tell, is Jerry Crony?”

Claire replied: “Crony is a student at james K. Polk, and the only male member of the sewing club.” She glared at me. “But I haven’t told you that secret, right?”

I wondered what was going on.

Claire explained: “Crony is a member of the bully gang of **William Loomer** ,2:21 the worst creep at our school. He does that in order to hide his girly hobby: sewing and fashion design. He would love to stick up for his hobby, but he fears being repressed by his ruthless gang leader.”

I shrugged. “That sounds fairly weird, doesn’t it?”

Claire nodded. “Crony even applied as a girl for your middle school ball last year. Maybe you remember him?”

I remembered only one boy that had made it to the ball by pretending to be a girl ... Olivary Biallo! And, even worse, I remembered having danced with him in the moon shine, and I had been mistaken for a moon goddess. _So, was that Olivary Biallo?_

Crony had disappeared in order to do his job, and he was — or so we hoped — going to bannish the skunk from our campus as soon as possible.

Then I started to talk to Claire about the desperate situation of Dustin.

The future lawyer sighed. “I would work towards getting a distance agreement. Samantha Pucket or Trisha Kirby would not be allowed to approach Dustin closer than one hundred yards.”

Alas, it was necessary to find a better proof for Trisha’s excessively evil influence on Dustin.

Claire suggested some sort of a spy or private detective, but who was able to do that on my behalf? The future lawyer did not know anyone at her school that was a really gifted detective. “But my school pals **Lisa Zemo**2:22 and Jennifer Mosely are really great in doing secret researches.”

OK, so I hoped that Claire’s friends were able to figure the truth about Trisha or Samantha ... I bet that the evil twin of Melanie went by several identities.

####  2:2:1:4  Trapped

The next day, Gordy had actually caughed something in his weasel trap that had been reworked into a skunk trap. He had used some baits from the cafeteria.

Alas, whatever had been trapped in the weird device, it was not a skunk or any other wild animal of that size, but it was no other than our dormitory adviser, Coco Wexler! The chubby wench twitched and struggled in the weasel net, requesting to be released immediately. She had tried to grab the bait Gordy had deployed in order to catch the skunk. Unfortunately, she was always hungry and ready to eat anything lying in her way. Her weight had ripped the net into scraps, but she was still unable to fight her way out of these.

Gordy sighed when releasing Coco. “Sorry, this never happened before, and it won’t happen again.”

Coco glared at the custodian from Santa Clarita.

I walked away, wondering whether Quinn and Mindy had finally found a remedy against the horrible stink.

####  2:2:1:5  Franky Murkin

One day later, Lisa Zemo and Jennifer Mosely had found out quite a bit about Samantha Puckett alias Trisha Kirby.

The blond devil had recently had a boyfriend named **Franky Murkin**.2:23 whom she had pushed deliberately off a branch high up in some tree in which they had been sitting, for whatever activity.

Franky had broken several things in his body, and he had been hastily treated by no other than Quinn Pensky, my trusty girl next door. After Quinn’s treatment, he had been feeling too well to tell the full truth about the scene in the tree.

Well, needless to say, I did by no means want Dustin to get pushed off the edge of a cliff or something by the diabolic blonde from Seattle.

So, while Dustin was not willing to listen to me, he was would possibly be ready to listen to Franky.

I needed to find that boy and make Dustin face him before it was too late.

Claire Sawyer remarked that Sam had been granted allowances, anywaysm because of her bad family background.

Since five generations, the Pucketts had been at the head of organised criminality in downtown Seattle.

The state of Washington had sent Sam to California in order to get away from the evil relatives, such as her mother, a woman of the worst possible reputation.

But Sam’s violent onslaught upon the life and health of her own boyfriend had not been her first deed of that sort, and I knew that without doing anything about it, it would impossibly have stayed her last action of that kind.

A few years ago, Samantha had been participating in a beauty pageant.

Yes, I know: It is very hard to believe.

Upon this event, she had pushed her competitor **Leanne Carter** down some staircase and been disqualified for that. But she had not been really punished for that, as Leanne had insisted in having stumbled on her own.2:24

So, there were two victims of Samantha’s violence, and none of them had been enough to get the evil fury removed from the face of this earth.

But maybe Franky and Leanne would at least be able to help Dustin to avoid becoming yet another victim of the blood thirsty blonde.

A propos _blood thirsty_ ... Chase refused to believe that it had been actually Lola Martinez who had bit and sucked him upon the walk through the haunted mansion during our recent Halloween party. “Lola is a nice girl, she would never do anything like that! Only a real vampire is able to act in this manner.” OK, boys could be so stubborn, especially bushy dorks.

But looking for Franky and Leanne was now a race against time in order to save Dustin from destruction.

####  2:2:1:6  Naked Boys

Quinn’s first attempt to remove the stink caused by the skunk’s attack was a plain disaster. She had squirted the guys with some essence that made the bad odor disappear, but also the clothes of Michael and Logan.

Well, honestly, those lads had not got a good taste for clothes, anyways. Thus this was by no means a big loss.

But I still pitied the people that happened to be forced to see those two guys crossing the campus with nothing but their unhealthy looking skin.

They were lucky that Gordy had got something to wrap those guys into, the remains of the weasel net that had been torn into pieces by Coco’s weight.

But Mindy had already found Quinn’s mistake, and now they were working on a new formula, the ultimate stench killer ...

I heard them mutter something about puff peppers, the thing they wanted to cross with bananas in order to produce a new fruit. I was of course not able to judge whether this was a good idea, but I hoped them to succeed fairly fast.

###  2:2:2  The Chase And Michael Show

####  2:2:2:1  Lame

Web shows were deemed really cool by today’s kids, as professional TV broadcasting corps inserted too much advertisement breaks,2:25 promoting articles such as aforementioned Jet-X.

Chase and Michael had started their own show,2:26 although in a totally dilettantic manner. They had not got any clue about webcams and stuff, making their web comedy a pure farce. They should at least have begged Quinn for help on this issue.

I better refrain from talking about the content, it would not be polite, putting it mildly.

Little wonder, the critical reception of the web show was devastating.

**Jeremiah Trottman** ,2:27 the chief redactor of our school newspaper and the head reporter of our campus news channerl, wrote devastating articles about them in the _Daily Stingray_

The most devastating critics had come from outside, though, more precisely: Some **Nevel Papperman** from Seattle, owner of a site named **Nevelocity** ,2:28 called the show _the epitome of lameness_. Nevel was by the way no other than aforementioned little cousin of Melinda Crenshaw.

Well, I was not blaming anyone for not liking the show, but I attended one of their sessions, anyways, because Chase had begged me on his knees.

And the critics were obviously absolutely justified: The inabilities of the boys to handle the web equipment correctly was devastating.

Of course I was no better in doing so, but I expected some quality that was definitely not given here.

Logan was here, too. Unfortunately, he was still living here, and thus he could hardly be pushed away by Chase and Michael. As usual, he taunted Chase and Michael mercilessly for their not so successful web show.

And of course it was impossible for me to avoid arguing with the spoiled jerk.

Chase and Michael showed some lame hand made animated cartoons, and they gurgled the national anthem in a really blasphemic manner that should have made them lose their citizenship. Yet they had got the guts to expel me and Logan from their web show because we started arguing during their pointless performances.

####  2:2:2:2  Obsessive Male Gender Disorder

As we all know, Nicole Bristow was very easily distracted by cute guys.

During her first year, this had already had some adverse effects on her ability to follow the lessons, but those had been fairly limited.

This year, things were different, especially due to three cute guys in her classes that made it impossible for her to concentrate in any manner.

One of them was **`Daniel James`** alias **`Douglas Toader.`** ,69 a spoiled rich snob and bully similar to Logan Reese and best friend of aforementioned chief bully Keith Finch. He was the captain of the arrogant fencing team, and definitely not a guy for Nicole to hang out with.

But my pal had got difficulties in telling decent boys from dirty ones.

The other mean distractors were **Harry Matthau** and **Lance McCallister** , not much better for Nicole.

In any case, it was impossible for Nicole to continue like this.

Lola had got the idea of hypnotising Nicole. Her former acting teacher, a certain **Sikowitz** ,2:29 had done something like that to Lola in order to make her concentrate better on ther texts and postures during screen plays.

Quinn would have loved to do the mesmerising, but she would certainly have wreaked the usual havoc.

Thus I sent Nicole to Doc Lowe.

He diagnosed my pal with obsessive male gender disorder, and he suggested some thorough treatment in order to make her concentrate better on her classes. Otherwise she would have been forced to leave Pacific Coast Academy and go to some all girl school, such as nearby Northridge. Her situation was serious, but at least not yet hopeless.

Unfortunately, Lowe’s time available for treating Nicole Bristow was severely limit, because he was already busy treating Dana for her anger issues, and Trisha Kirby alias Samantha Puckett for her stubborn violent attitude.

Indeed, Franky Murkin had showed up in the meantime in order to testify against his former girlfriend, and he had been able to dissuade Dustin from keeping on dating the evil lass by showing him his scars.

Leanne Carter, on the other hand, had not been able to show up, but she had talked me into not getting Sam expelled, but sending her to Doc Lowe for treatment.

OK, all those were serious issues, and they required a lot of Lowe’s efforts. But he was at least paid well for his job here and no longer forced to sell foam fingers at football arenas or to drive school busses.

####  2:2:2:3  He says — She says

The next day, the _Daily Stingray_ had changed its opinion about The Chase And Michael Show.

The reason for this were my arguments with Logan Reese that had been seen and heard in the background. And now the audience wanted more of them.

Alas, Nevel Papperman and his _Nevelocity_ remained somewhat critical.

Chase and Michael wanted me and Logan to appear thence regularly in their web show and dispute about girl vs. boy topics.

This way, the quotes for their show would sky rocket.

The segment would be called _He says_ _—_ _She says_ ,2:30 because it was featuring typical girls’ vs boys’ arguments.

“OK ...” I seemed to like this idea in the first place, but I wondered: “Why is Nevel Papperman still adamantly opposed to this?”

Melinda Crenshaw replied: “My cousin is probably just consequential, so you better ask him yourself.”

I shrugged, but I deemed that a not so bad idea, after all.

####  2:2:2:4  Sexist Clichés

I had sent an electronic mail message to Nevel Amadeus Papperman, and I had just received a reply.

Nevel explained:

> Although the show was now no longer the shallow entertainment for brainless creeps it had been before, it was still very disturbing.
> 
> Michael Barret is most definitely not able to concentrate on serious tasks.
> 
> Chase Matthews is horribly naïve.
> 
> And the topics for your disputes wityh Logan Reese are not appropriate. They are nothing but sexist clichés.
> 
> And think of the effect such a show would have on life on your campus. The disputes would be carried on by all students, and that not only outside classes.
> 
> Your teachers will be no longer able to control the situation.
> 
> The lessons will breeak down.
> 
> Your headmaster will be forced to deply severe counteractions, such as censorship and menaces of detention, suspension, expulsion, deportation!
> 
> Better publish your opinions about those issues on your blog, or write a good book about them.
> 
> Disputing with Logan ain’t no use, anyways, no matter what.
> 
> Chase and Michael should submit their dirt cheap cartoons to a site like Toon Juice.2:31

I did not like everything said by Mindy’s little cousin, but I figured there was something to his words. I did not like censorship and stuff, though. But I decided to drop that stupid web show and to keep my pointless disputes with Logan Reese away from the sensation-greedy public.

Likewise, Chase Matthews and Michael Barret would submit their toons to said site, as they had already heard about it. They even expected to get paid for them, but they were a bit too optimistic about that, weren’t they?

##  2:3  Destruction

###  2:3:1  Battle Droids

####  2:3:1:1  Plans Of Destruction

#####  2:3:1:1:1  Fire Weirdo

One nice afternoon not much later, we stumbled into three extreme dorks who had apparently never seen a girl or so, and who behaved like utter idiots around me.

This was aforementioned nerd Wayne Gilbert alias Fire Wire, with his two pals Neil Wosniacki2:32 and Andrew Bernstein.2:33 The tech nerds were busy building some sort of a robot, more precisely, it was a battle droid with a remote control. They were participating in a contest, where they had to duel with builders of other warrior robots for some trophy.

I did not understand anything about technology, especially not about robots and remote controls, but I was not willing to let the arrogant creeps get away without a lesson, and so I decided to challenge their robot in a duel. Of course, someone else had to build me a robot, and I could not think of anyone better than Quinn Pensky for that job.

Before that, we would make a picture of what the robot should look like.

Chase and Michael had apparently played too many video games with warrior droids, as had Dustin, and they were incredibly inspired by those.

Making the robot look like a fire-spewing dragon was another goal.

Logan insisted in calling the robot _Loganator_. “I pay for the whole thing, so I am entitled to give it a name!”

That did make sense, but — or so I wondered — did he have to name every piece of crap for himself?

It seemed that there was no other choice left for us.

#####  2:3:1:1:2  Changing Sides

It was not all that easy to persuade Quinn to build the kind of robot designed by Lola and needed in order to show Wayne Gilbert, Andrew Bernstein, and Neil Wosniacki that they were not the greatest.

At first glance, Quinn seemed to be opposed to using her technological genius for puposes such as violent as destruction. But this changed when she heard about our opponent: Wayne Gilbert alias Fire Wire and his pals. “They keep on calling me a spaz ... I am in it!”

But why did Wayne call Quinn a spaz? The reason was the high amount of malevolent side effects her quinnventions used to cause.

Quinn was now hell bent on building the machine for us, although she was disgusted by the name : Loganator.

But then Mindy Crenshaw walked in. “I have got a new idea for getting the genetic structure of the Peruvian puff peppers to ...”

Quinn told Mindy that they had to postpone that research until the completeion of the Loganator.

Mindy coughed. “You are trying to challenge our robot war team?”

Quinn nodded. “After all Wayne keeps on doing to me?”

Mindy sighed deeply. “Dern! I am a member of our official Robot team.”

Quinn glared at her fellow geek.

Mindy explained:

> One of their opponents is the team of my former school, San Diego Belleview.
> 
> Once upon a time, I had a crush on Joshuah Nichols, who is now their captain.
> 
> The others are even worse dorks, such as **Craig Ramirez** and **Eric Blonowitz**.2:34
> 
> I definitely need to show them what a real engineer is!
> 
> Wayne let me into the team, because I know Josh fairly well and know what he will try to do during the lethal combat.

Quinn sighed deeply, because she understood Mindy, and she did not want to work against her fellow worker.

Mindy invited Quinn once more to join the official team. “We don’t even have to destroy the hostile robots, just make them unusable for the time being, using strong magnetic fields.”

Quinn looked excited. “Wow, I am so in it. Sorry, Zoey, but you need to find some idiot that is willing to bow to Logan’s fascism!” She puked and spit noisily into the jerk’s direction and walked away, following Mindy and leaving me behind.

####  2:3:1:2  Miles Brody

I did not want to give up that early, so I was looking for someone else to build a robot for us and to teach Wayne a lesson, whatever the cost.

Chase and Michael had had an idea:

There was a book worm named **Miles Brody** ,2:35 nowadays a senior here at Pacific Coast Academy. He was living almost constantly in some obscure angle of Harry Schneider Library.

Chase had hardly ever been in there, but he had got a cheat sheet from someone else in order to find the location of the mega nerd.

And there he was ... your average super nerd. He had to finish reading his book first, which meant several pages per second.

We wanted to tell him about our reasons for being here, but we did not have to.

For some reason, Miles was well informed about us and the ongoing arguments with Wayne Gilbert. Finally, he agreed in building a war robot for us, but there was a prize.

I hoped that he wanted us to buy him some rare books, but I was so awfully wrong.

Wayne required a date with Nicole Bristow.

Fortunately, she was not here in order to here us, because Wayne had insisted in negotiating with me only.

I looked consternated.

> Am I really supposed to sell my pal for a war robot?
> 
> Sorry, but there is no other way for me to put it.
> 
> During the previous year, I deemed my own dignity more important than a Jet-X.
> 
> This was due to the inference of Takato.
> 
> Who, pray tell, am I now to challenge the dignity of one of my best pals?

I panted heavily, and then I decided to turn down Miles Brody’s suggested deal. I said no word, turned around, and left the library like a freshly greased flash of lightening. I did not even want to see the reaction of the ultra nerd.

Nicole would thank me for my decision, or so I hoped.

Alas, Logan would not understand it, because he was even worse and thought that he was able to buy any girl with his money.

####  2:3:1:3  Welcome To The Arena!

#####  2:3:1:3:1  Entrance Of The Gladiators

Summing it up, there was no Loganator and no showdown with our official robot war team.

And after all, we were **one** school, and we had to get along with each other.

Today, there was the big Californian finale for the robot war league.

There were of course several teams qualified for it.

Our team used a robot named the Quinnterruptor — for Quinn Pensky.

As aforementioned, there was the team of Mindy’s former school, Belleview. It deployed a battle droid named Blonowitzer because of co-captain Eric Blonowitz.

Another favourised team was that of James K. Polk Middle School, grouped around aforementioned Simon Nelson Cook. Their war robot was called Worminator because of co-designer **Albert Wormenheimer** ,2:36 another stereotypical nerd.

The whole mayhem was hosted by the Los Angeles Battle Dome.

Many of us Pacific Coast Academy kids were present in the spectators’ zone in order to cheer for our team.

The referee was **Mr. Jamerson**2:37 from some district school in Manhattan. He was famous for making inventions on his own, similar to Quinn Pensky. He pretended them to work a few hundred times as well as standard devices.

It was now time for the contestants to enter the arena.

There was even some music for this purpose. I immediately recognised Megan Parker with her oboe, playing once again _Entrance Of The Gladiators_. This time, her oboe sounded even a whole lot better than ever before.

I did not think that Megan was going to cheer unconditionally for her step brother’s team, given the huge tensions within their family.

Megan was accompanied by violinist **Kelly Peckinpaw** ,2:38 a remote relative of Wayne Gilbert — or so I would be told later on.

Of course, the opposing teams had got their own fans in the audience.

#####  2:3:1:3:2  The Music Video

I had not got any difficulties making out Drake Parker in the front row.

Of course he was going to cheer for his step brother, especially against our team which included Mindy Crenshaw.

But I still wanted to talk to him about a new idea for a new logo for his band’s outfit. I was convinced that Drake needed to switch outfits more often in order to become really successful.

Fashion trends evolved very fast during those years, and this was a fact that I was forced to keep on putting up with.

It was still time for the quarter finals, and our teams would not have to face each other before the semi finals.

Thus there was some time left, and I tried to catch Drake before the big turmoil involving our teams started for real.

Lola and Nicole were just coming along with me.

Finally, we reached the rock star who was entoured by a few other students from Belleview.

Drake seemed to recognise me and my pals. “Zoey? Wow! Long time no see! What a surprise!”

“Indeed!” I smiled. “You already know Nicole and Lola ... if you remember them ...”

Lola glared at me, because I had tried to downplay her celebrity, and she grinned viciously. “So you are now a big superstar?” She grinned cheerfully.

Drake grinned proudly. “Hey, Lola, I have seen you recently in some ads on TV ...”

Lola nodded solemnly. “Indeed, unfortunately it was only a background cameo.” She sighed. “I want to become a real Hollywood star, though.”

Drake grinned. “Yeah, a girl with your looks definitely should make it up to there, many Oscars included.”

I moaned, because I started getting bored by Lola’s star talk.

Lola grinned proudly. “I will be on some horror movie by Malcolm Reese as a vampire. But that’s not really the kind of character I am looking for.”

Drake nodded. “I really want a record contract.” He panted briefly. “Hey, would you mind appearing in a music video with me? It is for _Hollywood Girl_ , which we sang together at your spring party.”

Lola smiled. “A music video for a record contract?”

Drake nodded solemnly. “Josh wants to submit it to **Rocque Records** ,2:39 a very powerful record studio, the best in Los Angeles, and that means the best in the world.”

Lola looked excited. “Wow, and the movie will be seen by many people?”

Drake nodded. “I do hope so.”

Lola appeared totally enthusiastic. “Do I have to sing for the movie?”

Drake shook his head. “You just have to look cute, and smile, and say a few words written by Josh.”

Lola smiled. “Aw! I love acting!”

There was no chance left for me to negotiate a new outfit for his band, at least not right now. And there was something developing between Drake and Lola, wasn’t there? This had already been subtly evident during the spring fair when the two of them sang together, and this impression kept on growing.

On the other hand, Drake was a jerk with a new girlfriend every other week, and Lola was not really that much different, as she was doing everything in order to sell herself for the sake of her career.

But that was not really my business, was it?

#####  2:3:1:3:3  Belleview Versus PCA

And now it was time for our big match against the team of Drake and Josh, alias Belleview.

Drake excused us, because he had to sing something in order to cheer up his team. He had written the song for his school’s cheerio troop.

The remote controls were about being operated by Melinda Crenshaw and by Joshuah Nichols, respectively.

Given the aforementioned history of the two competitors, this looked like a totally interesting situation.

Ref Jamerson blew the initial whistle.

The Blonowitzer and the Quinnterrupter started facing off.

It was not possible for me to understand what the two of them were talking, not only because I was not able to understand excessive nerd talk, but especially because the noise was too much, both the machine clang and the audience’s cheers and boos.

But their postures and gestures told me a lot about tyhe situation.

Later, Mindy would tell me about the scenario.

> Josh believed that he was able to beat me once, after having been frustrated many times at school. 
> 
> And although I had been expelled upon his request, I have found a better place to be, here at Pacific Coast Academy, and I announced to show him why this was the case. 
> 
> Josh tried to surprise me with his magnetic device, but I was so able to predict that, and thus I have build a better and stronger one. 
> 
> Thus I was finally able to defeat him with his own weapons, although the Quinnterrupter looks so small and harmless.

As you see, Mindy defeated her former crush, and it looked really like a punishment.

Josh was supposed to rue the fact that he was listening too much to his jerkish step brother than to those he should really hand out with.

Jamerson declared the battle for completed by blowing a final whistle. 

Our team was now up to facing the Worminator.

Josh disputed wildly with two ultra dorks: Eric Blonowitz and Craig Ramirez.

But before that, Mindy declared: “OK Josh, you had got your chance, and you have wasted it.” She grinned. “And now I found someone better!” She panted heavily, and then she grabbed Wayne , pulling him into a kiss while glaring at Josh, her eyes expressing mere penance and revenge. “Wayne, do you want to be my prom partner?”

Fire Wire was apparently surprised by Mindy’s action, and he blushed deeply. After some delay, he stammered cautiously: “I will!”

Mindy smiled. But then she had to concentrate on the impending final match, just like her team mates Wayne, Neil, Andrew, and Quinn.

#####  2:3:1:3:4  Wolves Versus Stingrays

Needless to say, the **Wolves** ,2:40 alias the team of James K. Polk Middle School had got their supporters as well.

I spotted people like Claire Sawyer, Jennifer Mosely, Lisa Zemo, and ... Olivary Biallo.

Claire introduced me to some others, such as **Edmond Bigby**.2:41

But I also asked her to confirm my thought: “Is this guy Jerry Crony?”

Claire nodded solemnly. “And the guys next to him are his fellow bullies, William Loomer and **Buzz Rodriguez**.”2:42

I wondered whether Crony alias Biallo was going to recognisde me again here in the spot lights of the battle dome, as opposed to the pale moon light on our campus.

In the presence of his bully pals, this would probably trigger quite some embarrassment.

But I decided to show up in front of him, right after the battle.

The faker and wannabe bully had it coming, and quite so.

Jamerson blew the initial whistle, starting the very last fight, this time between Simon Nelson Cook and Mindy Crenshaw, or, if you prefer, the Quinnterruptor versus the Worminator.

This time, the opponent had been warned, knowing about the Quinnterrupters strengthes, and maybe even aware of its weaknesses.

Well, according to Quinn, there were no weaknesses of her creation, but that was probably just wishful thinking.

Alas, according to Claire, the Worminator did have a secret weapon, something like acid bombs or so. But she was not able to talk about it, noit just because she needed to keep silent about the trade secrets of her school’s team, but she plainly did not understand much about science and technology, well, neither did I.

Strands of acids were ready to eat their way through the metal of the victims like worms through rotting flesh, finally devouring the vital innards.

But maybe Quinn had foreseen that possibility and used a material for her droid that was resistent to the acid?

Anyways, I was not really able to understand what I was talking about, and so it was better for me to shut up.

Following Claire and Jennifer, I finally walked into the group of William Loomer, Buzz Rodriguez, and Jerome Crony alias Olivary Biallo.

The letter coughed and choked, as he seemed to remember me from the dance in the moon light. He must have been shocked by recognising that I was a real girl, and not a moon goddess, as he had assumed all the time.

I greeted the weirdo nicely. “Hi Olivary!”

Loomer growled at his pal. “Olivary? What the ...” He panted heavily. “And who’s that girl?”

I introduced myself. “Zoey Brooks, from Pacific Coast Academy. Amd I am not afraid of you bullies. See, I have got a little brother, and I have to defend him regularly against guys like you.” I glared at Loomer. “And they have hitherto regretted it all the time having even dared about messing with my brother. You get it?”

Loomer and Rodriguez gasped. Then they appeared totally consternated and started running away and hiding.

This left me with some time to ask Olivary Biallo, or Jerome Crony, or whatever ...

But the poor guy was really consternated, and helpless without his pals.

I wondered: “So why did you do all this? You should really stand up for your hobby, the textile creation club.”

Crony looked consternated because I knew about it.

“You really like creating your own style of fashion?” I sighed. “So do I. Maybe you can show me your designs, and I may help you with some advice.”

Crony looked interested, but he was still overburdened by the situation.

In this moment, Jamerson blew the final whistle.

Our team had won, because the magnetic something was faster than the acidic torpedo launcher of the Worminator.

Olivary was gone, but I hoped to see him once again and talk with him aout fashion styles.

#####  2:3:1:3:5  Triumphal Ode

Megan Parker and Kelly Peckinpaw finally performed the tune for the winner: Giuseppe Verdi’s unforgettable _Triumphal Ode_ , from his grand opera _Aida_.

Our own violinist, aforementioned Nils Jacobsen, chimed in and started playing along.

Quinn, Mindy, Wayne, Andrew, and Neil marched solemnly to the supreme hymn.

Jamerson handed them a huge trohy, not made of gold, but only of solid brass.

This was a great day for the scientific efforts at our school.

Wayne Gilbert appeared still visibly touched by Mindy’s kiss and her invitation to her impending junior prom ball.

Was Crenshaw only using him, or was she really showing her feelings?

It was not my business to judge, and they were certainly a great couple, but maybe not necessarily the most honest and unselfish one.

And Drake would most likely show up more often on our campus, as Lola made him happy, she definitely made him want to sing.

###  2:3:2  Smoked Tuna

####  2:3:2:1  Evening At Sushi Rox

We kids loved to spend our evenings at Kazu’s restaurant Sushi Rox.

Chase was still working there occasionally as a waiter or a delivery boy, in oredere to earn some bucks for something I did not really care about.

It was already late, but I was still hungry, and I ordered one more deep fried tempura, even though this forced Kazu to restart his oven, which he had already shut down for the night.

Chase had persuaded Kazu to refuel the stove, just in order to impress me, although he was already tired.

At the same time, Kazu confirmed the orders of some guests across the campus. As Chase was the only delivery boy available, he had to sent hom in order to deliver the requests.

Chase was not really opposed to this, as late orders usually implied higher tips. But he hated doing the long walks, and so he wanted to do everything in one trip. Unfortunately, he had never listened to Quinn’s advice:

The nerd girl wanted to extend his bicycle with a cargo cart adapted to the structure of our campus.

**Mr. Keller** ,2:43 our gym teacher and coach of the basketball team since the middle of this academic year, was obsessed with sushi, and he had the weird attitude of talking to his food.

Kazu had told Chase to go twice in order to deliver the ordered food to their respective customers.

But Chase ignored the warning, probably once more in order to impress me. And, all of a sudden, he stumbled and fell down the staircase, complete with his packages of sushi.

We had jsut heard the noise, and we went looking. We: that included Kazu himself, who had to neglect his stove for a moment.

Chase had survived the accident with a few scratches and bruises, but he was tough, given that this was not his first accident of a similar sort, and I had seen him crash into something too many times already.

We were now able to return to our seats, but ... what was that?

The kitchen of Sushi Rox was all ablaze, bursting into a flaming inferno.

Keller tried to use the fire extinguisher, but in a very inappropriate manner that was not really helpful.

At least the alert was triggered, informing the local fire brigades who wpuld arrive within a few minutes.

We kids were told to go to our dormitory halls.

####  2:3:2:2  Smoke And Ashes

The morning after, I looked immediately after Sushi Rox, or, rather, the place that used to host this Japanese pub.

**Chief Becker** ,2:44 the boss of the local fire guards, declared that the building itself was still usable, but the kitchen was now but smoke and ashes.

Kazu sat sadly on the ground. He was now flat broke, as all the money he had got in the cache was now completely incinerated. Even worse, there was no insurance to cover this damage. The losses were a bit more than ten thousand bucks.

I thought that this was all we needed to come up with in order to be able to help Kazu restore Sushi Rox. Of course it was a mighty amount of bucks for us kids, more than the sum required by Drake’s former manager for a concert of the rock idol.

Kazu was about to give up. He announced to return to his hometown in Alabama, and to come back in about two weeks in order to fetch his last belongings. This, of course, would have been tantamount to the end of Sushi Rox, a nightmare for most of us kids.

####  2:3:2:3  More Fundraising

#####  2:3:2:3:1  Any Ideas?

We kids had gathered in our lounge in order to discuss the situation.

Like many others, I felt guilty for the destruction of the bar, and I wanted it back badly.

Chase and Michael were a lot worse off, as Coach Keller held them responsible in person, and he was certainly up to some horrible revenge.

Of course Logan was the only one able to afford restoring the bar, but he was unlikely to simply pay the required amount of bucks without any way of abusing us girls in turn.

Last year’s attempts of collecting funds for our spring fling had gone totally awry, and the bad memories prevented us from trying the same again, especially as we needed much higher amounts of dollars than last year.

Car wash, melon bashing, and stuff like that were thus no option.

Quinn and Mindy suggested to deploy their skills in genetic engineering in order to clone kidnapped pets and babies, and then sell them for a decent amount of money in order to raise the necessary funds.

But kidnapoping babies was clearly illegal, and I did not even need Claire Sawyer to know this. Likewise, hiding pets was not a wise thing on a campus where pets were not allowed. 

Then we had got the idea or organising some sort of a people auction.

We would offer our hands for weekend and evening jobs at the homes of our teachers who in turn donated some bucks for the rebuilding of Sushi Rox.

Although this sounded like a fantastic idea, I had become careful during the last months, and so I wanted to consult an expert for legal questions beforehand.

In other words, Claire Sawyer’s advice was needed once again.

#####  2:3:2:3:2  More Obstacles

Claire Sawyer had not wasted any time and showed up on our campus the very same evening, followed by her friends Jennifer Mosely and Lisa Zemo.

We had resumed our reunion about fund raising.

The visitors from Santa Clarita told us about many futile attempts of raising funds at their school, including the habitual car was action.2:45

Before upon discussing the details of a possible people auction, the junior lawyer figured a couple of further obstacles.

As aforementioned, Kazu had not got a fire insurance, and thus their was no way to get any damage covered, while the laws of Pacific Coast Academy, imposed by Bradford, required that there was a minimum insurance required for all those running a business on our campus. This rule had not been enforced until now, but there was little doubt left that our landlord was going to wreak havoc, especially after the disaster caused by the bomb that had demolished his father’s icon.

Lisa Zemo and Jennifer had quickly looked up a few offers found online, and the news were shocking, especially because after an accident, insurance companies were always inclined towards raising the fees due to known security risks and sources of dangers.

We started quickly calculating a few examples.

The expected fees would force Kazu to raise the prices for the customers.

Calculating forth and back, it was hard for us to see how Kazu could have maintained affordable prices, in virtue of the fact that the mass of us students were not disposing of the bucks of Logan Reese.

A more thorough investigation that would later down the road be executed by **Rosemary Pinchbinder** ,2:46 the most awarded accountant of the country of that time, would prove that, given the current economic structures, Kazu’s Sushi Rox would go bankrupt in no more than two years.

It was clear for us that raising funds was not enough, we would also have to find a way to minimise the risks.

One problem was the fact that Kazu, regardless of his abilities as a chef, was not a certified professional cook with a proven competence in the domain of kitchen security. Such a perogram was expensive and would scare Kazu away from California.

But Jennifer had got an idea: “Rosemary Pepper2:47 was an international champion in soul food cooking and the cafeteria chef of James K. Polk, and she was especially a certified cook with a proven sense for responsibility. She wants to improve, and Sushi Rox would be a nice new challenge for her.” She grinned.

That sounded like a great idea, but we needed to negotiate with their lunch lady first.

Now it was time for us to talk about the people auction.

Claire Sawyer shook her head. “Of course there are laws restricting what kind of services the teachers or sponsors may require you to do for them ... moral dangers and so on. Also, the trades unions have enforced restrictions, so many tasks require a union card. Otherwise, prepare for the worst of dirt jobs like sorting trash bins.”

Chase and Michael started shuddering for excessive disgust.

Anyways, looking back at raising funds for Drake Parker looked like a trip back to paradise.

But, hey, Drake Parker was maybe not that much of a bad idea. The rock idol needed a music video, and we could help him make one, right here on the campus, and in turn we would also make quite a few bucks, right?

Lola was willing to cooperate with Drake, anyways, and Quinn was able to lend him her technical skills: web cams, sound patchers, and so on.

Chase was able to write a cool screen script, and Michael understood enough about the arrangement of rock music to help him.

Wendy Gellar would be able to assist him there.

I needed to countercheck by calling his manager and step brother Joshuah Nichols.

####  2:3:2:4  Makes Me Happy

Drake Parker was glad to follow our invitation and to make the shootings for his music video on our campus, with our help.

But there had been one significant change:

Drake was not up to performing _Hollywood Girl_ , as planned, but a new song with lyrics written by Adelaide Singer and tune by Wendy Gellar: _Makes Me Happy_.2:48 But the jerk claimed that it had been inspired by Lola.

The reason for the change was Lola’s complaint about having to perform only in some dark movie, whereas she wanted to be in some fluffy comedy.

_Hollywood Girl_ was a rather pessimistic song, as completely opposed to _Makes Me Happy_ , and thus the choice was clear.

Quinn had already prepared her web cam and her sound patcher, along with a huge variety of microphones.

Unfortunately, Rebecca Trina Vega still envied her younger sister, and she tried to claim Drake and the place in the music video for herself.

Then Logan Reeese intervened: “Hey, Trina, you can do so much better than your sister. Leave her the troubles of torturing herself with learning lyrics and tunes. You are a much better dancer and body builder than she can ever dream of. You would be perfect as a super model ... just like me, but a definitely female one.”

The femme fatale felt extremely flattered. “Yeah, singing and acting is for ungifted and ugly losers. I always wanted to become a top model, anyways!”

This was the last obstacle to the music video to be removed.

Due to Drake’s intervention, we would be able to afford the reopening of Sushi Rox by the beginning of next year.

This was especially the case after Rosemary Pepper signed a three years’ contract as a responsible chef at Pacific Coast Academy. She would also teach home economy, a subject that Bradford had hitherto denied us, but would no longer do after having tasted Rose Pepper’s lunch.

##  2:4  Warming Up

###  2:4:1  Spring Feelings

####  2:4:1:1  Baldwin Sisters

There had been a few new kids at Pacific Coast Academy since the beginning of the academic term.

Among them were **Tracy Baldwin** and her sister **Sandy Baldwin** ,2:49 former students at aforementioned Belleview School in San Diego. While Tracy was a high school sophomore, Sandy was still an elementary school kid, exactly of Dustin’s age.

Tracy was as protective of Sandy as I was of Dustin. We were especially worried about them falling into the hands of the wrong boyfriend or girlfriend, respectively.

I did by no means want Dustin to repeat the mistake of dating perverted junk girl Trisha Kirby.

His other bad experience had been a crush on aforementioned Wendy Gellar: the screaming Drake Parker fangirl had only made fun of him.

So, as Dustin was apparently not able to find a decent girlfriend on his own, and as Sandy was a nice girl on her own right and deserved a boyfriend like Dustin, Tracy and I decided to work together in order to match our younger siblings.

The situation was growing more and more urgent, as Dustin had just contacted Logan, for whom he was still working on and off as an errand boy, in order to learn the skills of womanising for which my bro admired the disgusting jerks, probably because his class mate considered only boys as cool who had got as many girls as possible cool.

And now the jerk had fixed a note to the bulletin board of our cafeteria, looking for two girls for a double date with himself and my baby brother.

This made the alert bells ring like at Harmageddon. OK, it was bad, but there was also some sort of a chance hidden it it.

Tracy’s idea was that of signing up for that double date, along with her sister. This way, she would get to teach Logan Reese a lesson rom face to face, while at teh same time teaching Sandy what a decent boy was like, videlicet someone like Dustin.

####  2:4:1:2  Lola’s Tutor

History classes were tough.

This time around, we needed to learn about all the presidents of the United States during the last two and a half centuries, or so.

“Why did there have to be so many? Can’t they make it like in England and have a queen reign for all her life?” Nicole moaned. “Princesses are so cute.” She expressed her wish to be one. At least she could now concentrate much better on her classes because of the sessions with Doc Lowe. In addition, she was now regularly hanging out with Nicholas Webber, her dance partner from the middle school ball of the previous year.

It had not gone really well when they met first, as they appeared to annoy each other. But now they were getting along perfectly.

Lola had got other problems. She told me that she was lagging behind in biology classes, taught by **Mr. Rudolph** ,2:50 and thence she needed tutoring desperately — or so it seemed. But she was an actress and able to fool people easily by making dramatic claims.

I had learned to be more careful with her stupid statements. In any case, I needed desperately to get rid of Chase for a few days.

He was still following me around too much.

Don’t get me wrong, I still liked the bushy dork, but I needed to prepare for the impending history test, as it was one of the most important classes for my college folder, so I better prepared well for it. Thus I decided to send Chase her way, pretending that he was good in biology, which was definitely not the case. I had to tutor him the previous year,2:51 and he had been a pain in the tail.

For some reason, Lola accepted the whole thing gratefully and soared off with Chase, leaving me with more time to learn for the exam instead of playing stupid games with Chase.

OK, soldier on! The next president to talk about was James K. Polk, for whom aforementioned middle school in Santa Clarita had been named. There were still so many of them to do down the list.

####  2:4:1:3  Lola Dates Chase

The next day some heavy shock awaited me:

Lola asked whether it was OK for me if she started dating Chase!

Before thinking too much about it, I told her that it was perfectly OK, given that it was not really my business, was it?

Alas, what was going on for real?

Lola and Drake had recently looked like the perfect superstar couple.

OK — even among the adults, Hollywood relationships tended to be short-lived.

But this was by absolutely no means the real issue.

Fact was, a pretty Latina with goals like the Oscar was certainly not interested for real in bushy dweebs like Chase Matthews. That was a law of nature, and nobody was able to fool me any longer into believing something to the contrary.

In addition, Chase, if at all, had been hankering after me during the last two years.

I had not wanted to believe this during my first months at Pacific Coast Academy, but the school ball of my middle school year had started turning me more and more aware of this possibility.

His attitude during the elections for our student parliament had been another step towards that direction, combined with his weird demeanour when I was making my movie for the time capsule.

Still, these were nothing more than that: subtle hints, and by no means a proof.

Lola, even if really done with Drake, would certainly have turned to the next good kisser and hot looking guy, as totally opposed to Chase. There was absolutely no way for Lola to be honest with any feelings towards Chase. Well, as an actress, Lola was certainly good in feigning feelings. But, in the case of her dates with Chase, why was she going to do that?

I definitely had to find out.

Funnily, Nicole thought that I was talking about a former president and his wife when I mentioned that Chase and Lola were not a good match. But she understood finally that I was right about it.

Dana supposed that Lola just wanted to keep Chase, a future screen writer for Oscar movies, in good mood because she needed him to write a good script for her awarded movies.

Nicole glared at Dana. “Ouch! That would be ugly.”

Dana growled: “Welcome to life and to Hollywood! That’s how the business works!”

OK, so we agreed that Lola was just feigning any interest in Chase, and she was doing so for the sake of her career. That made most sense, after all.

But why was Chase joining in?

This time, Nicole had got a great idea: “If there was a cute boy I had a crush on, I would try to make him jealous using an even cuter boy.”

This was understandable in the case of Nicole. But was this even true in the case of Chase?

If it was, it would have been a plain catastrophe.

Chase was not just one random boy with a crush on me, if correct, but the two of us had been very good friends since our first encounter about one year and six months ago.

Using another girl, and especially using a common friend, in order to make me jealous, was a clear violation of confidence that I was not willing to forgive, not in this life nor in any other.

Of course such a rigorous change of attitude towards someone needed some proof.

####  2:4:1:4  Fake Love Interest

I remembered how Lisa Zemo and Jennifer Mosely had been able to help Claire Sawyer to find out more about the past of Samantha Puckett alias Trisha Kirby. For that reason, I had decided to ask the girls from Santa Clarita once more for their help.

And now, just three days later, the girls returned with a report about the situation.

Jennifer Mosely had been Chase’s dance partner at last year’s middle school ball, so she had known him a bit better, and she confirmed that what he did back then made only sense if he had got that secret crush on me, and he was too much of a coward to admit to it.

Lisa Zemo, accompanied by Nicole Bristow, had also followed Lola Martinez around, and they had caught Lola and Chase in some stupid conversation.

After all, we were right that they had only feigned their feelings.

Lola Martinez needed to practise kissing uncomely and dorkish boys for a movie, something on the lines of classic work _The Beauty And The Beast_.

This was of course disgusting, but at least forgivable.

Lola’s first choice woul have been Mark del Figgalo, but she feared Quinn’s ragingly jealous reactions, and so she moved on to the next choice. Well, she could have tried Miles Brody, but she was not willing to enter the depths of the library again.

So ... what was Chase’s deal? Had he just been insecure and naïve? No, this was not the case. Indeed, Chase was using Lola in order to make me jealous.

So, it was a perfect double-sided deal.

I was consternated, for I had not wanted to believe this. This was probably the end of a hitherto great friendship.

####  2:4:1:5  Jerk In The Fountain

At first glance, Tracy’s and my own plan had turned out well.

Indeed, there had been a double date of Logan and Dustin with Tracy and Sandy Baldwin.

During that event, Dustin had praised Sandy’s outfit.

Logan had frowned upon this. He had taught Dustin to treat girls like dirt.

His first victim had been Quinn Pensky. The geek girl from Seattle had been practising with her trombone,2:52 and asked Dustin about her performance.

Dustin had called the performance, or the piece itself, not really bad, but not really good either, thusly insulting Quinn.

Oh well,for me, it did not sound like an insult, but very realistic, but apparently Quinn was of a different opinion, and she was really upset when encountering me, talking about my rude and ungrateful little brother.

I really do not want to repeat her wordings, as those were not appropriate for sensitive ears.

Tracy had been so disgusted by Logan’s attitude that she had pushed the awful jerk straight in to the campus fountain, pretending that she wanted to watch a movie _Jerk In The Fountain_ , a title made up by Tracy.

But Logan was probably still lying there, wondering whether there was really such a movie, although, even as the son of the number one Hollywood producer, he was not able to remember any.

Sandy and Dustin were now sort of dating, or so it seems.

I should have been happy about it, and I was, at least at first glance.

But what would happen if Dustin ever found out about the truth of the conspiracy deployed by me and Tracy Baldwin?

I was struggling with my remorses. Sooner or later, I would have to tell Dustin the truth about it, and this would not be easy, or so I supposed.

###  2:4:2  Spring Breakaway

####  2:4:2:1  What To Do

Spring break was around the corner, and this meant a few days off school. Most of us boarding students wondered what to do during those days.

Some kids were forced to or preferred to stay on the campus dring the free days, which was not necessarily a bad thing, although a lot of the shops and pubs were closed down or with reduced business during the break.

At least there was some sort of programme for those kids, just like guided tours to Los Angeles and Hollywood.

Other kids returned home for the free days. This was certainly a good thing for those missing their parents and friends from their hometown. But most kids preferred to spend the break with their school friends, doing stuff they do not find the time for during the academic days.

For some of us, there was now yet another possibility:

Malcolm Reese, the Hollywood czar and dad of Logan, was inviting a few of us freshmen kids to his summer estate over at Santa Barbara. He did not say why, but the fact that he was a leading producer suggested that we were going to participate in one of his productions, maybe as cameos or backup actors in some movie or publicity clip. Malcolm insisted in exactly four boys, including Logan, and four girls.

This made the whole thing a bit more interesting for us, and it confirmed that we were needed for some production, indeed, one that required an exact amount of boys and girls.

It was almost a given that Logan would choose his room mates Chase and Logan, not because he liked them, but because he wanted to keep on torturing and humiliating them.

Now I was still deadly upset because of Chase’s treason involving the abuse of Lola in order to make me jealous. I had talked about this to the bushy dork.

Of course he was not outright boasting with this, but after an hour of severe interrogations, he had admitted to his abominable deeds.

The atmosphere was now frosty, and we had started to try to avoid each other as much as only possible.

Although I had been asked thrice, especially by Michael who asked me on his knees to forgive Chase, I remained stubborn and rejected the nice offer from the Reese clan.

Finally, the boys to go to Santa Barbara were Logan, Chase, Michael, and Mark del Figgalo, while the girls were Dana, Lola, Nicole, and Quinn.

I stayed with Dustin on the campus.

My little brother would have been invited to Santa Barbara instead of Mark del Figgalo, but of course only if I had been in the mix, too. He had been very excitedm because he had also sensed that he would have been in a movie or so.

A few days earlier, Tracy and I had told our younger siblings about the plot against Logan, and we had not increased our popularity by doing so.

Dustin was now slightly mad at me, and the same was valid for Sandy with respect to Tracy.

I was now up to using the spring break in order to appease my brother and to make up with him for that.

Now a limousine arrived on the campus parking lot, sent by Malcolm Reese in order to fetch the aforementioned group of boys and girls.

Of course Michael and a few others were impressed by this long vehicle.

Logan boasted by complaining that his dad had not sent a really big limousine instead of that tiny one. This way, he was once more rubbing salt into the wounds of his envious pals.

Their luggage was carried by a van.

The cars started rolling off the parking site, allowing me to take a break from those guys and girls.

####  2:4:2:2  Wrong Flight

#####  2:4:2:2:1  Megan Calling

The campus appeared of course fairly quiet during this break, at least no comparison to the normal days when there were classes.

This was the first full day of the spring break, and I wanted to enjoy some tranquillity before a guided tour to Hollywood that was scheduled for the next day. All of a sudden, my mobile phone rang at the top of its lungs — oops, it did not have any, so, well, bear with it! I picked it up in order to reply.

The voice on the other end was a bit surprising for me: It was Megan Parker, and it was a very busy place indeed, such as a big railway station or the lounge of an airport. “Zoey, are you at Pacific Coast Academy?”

I nodded solemnly. “Indeed, although it is spring break.”

Megan sighed. “OK, may I have a room on your campus for one night or two? I will pay, honestly!”

I agreed. “Many rooms are free now, so there should not be a problem. I go and ask Coco right away.” I waved at our dormitory adviser, who happened to pass by, slurping a huge can of ravioli.

A few minutes later, the deal was struck.

Megan would even be allowed to share a room with her former class mate Sandy Baldwin.2:53

#####  2:4:2:2:2  The Big Storm

Megan arrived on our campus in a limousine, but this one was at least smaller than the one of Logan Reese. But for that, she exploited the credit card of her step father, the most unreliable and uncomely weather reporter from southern California, making it a miracle that he had not yet been fired. Anyways, Megan explained what she was doing in Los Angeles, and that it had not been a planned trip.

> I want to spend this break with my friend **Jessica** in Colorado.2:54
> 
> Drake and Josh have taken me to the airport in San Diego, but those inept boobs stuck me into the wrong plane, and they had not given me a mobile phone. I had to rent a phone cabin in order to call you, and this sucks. Well, the plane went to Los Angeles, little wonder, there are two flights per hour to LA, but very few flights elsewhere. Arriving at the airport, I asked for the next flight to Denver, but there was none due to heavy gales in the Sierra.
> 
> So I have to spend at least one night here in Los Angeles before continuing. I would have taken a hotel, but here it is more cozy. I have heard that the cafeteria here makes the best mac and cheese of California, and that they sell even Japanese candy on the campus.

I nodded. I also told her not to be too mad at Drake. “Your flight to Denver would hardly have arrived at all, given the thunder storms in the mountains.”

Megan sighed deeply.

I told her: “And now we should call your brothers and tell them about your situation.”

Megan glared at me, as if begging me to refrain from doing so.

I sighed deeply. “OK, they are not the world’s best elder brothers, but they have certainly already started worrying about you.”

Megan shook her head. “Why would the boobs even dare to think about doing anything like that?”

I shrugged.“Maybe because your mom would be upset if ...”

Megan shrugged. “OK, you know Drake’s number ... or so I guess.” But she was not willing to talk to her kinsmen.

#####  2:4:2:2:3  The False GO

Megan had disappeared to her room even before I had called Drake and Josh.

Those guys had followed Megan to Los Angeles with their next flight, and I had reached them when they entered the airport, telling them about Megan’s move.

Now they had finally made it to our campus, looking for their little sister. “Mom will kill us if ...”.

I shrugged. “Megan is pretty much OK, and looking forward to the weather report by **Bruce Windchill** ,2:55 the coolest weather frog of California.”

Drake sighed for relief. “Now that we are in Los Angeles, I want to check with Rocque Records.”

**Gustavo Rocque** ,2:56 the great record producer, had already taken a look at the music video.

Drake remarked: “his secretary is a hottie.”

Josh added: “Her name is Kelly Waynwright.”

Drake shrugged. “Remembering names is too much of a trouble for me.”

Josh pulled some handheld electronic device from his pockets. “I need to relax a bit. This G.O.2:57 has got the latest top hits, including Drake’s songs.” He started to plug in the device and the earcuffs. “Hey! That does not sound like Drake’s song.”

I took a closer look at the device. “Josh ... this does not look exactly like a G.O. either, this is ...”

We inspected that thing together, concluding that it held the pictures of the US banknotes, perfect for counterfeiters.

I remarked: “Where did you get it from? You know that owning such a thing is illegal if you are not a responsible staff member of the Federal Department For Currency And Banking.”

Josh growled: “The man next to me in the plane from San Diego to LA ... he had got a GO, too ... or something that looked like one.” He twitched and trembled like aspen leaves. “The fat lady in the plane ... it was like an earthquake, and our devices must have been swapped by this.” He started weeping. “I don’t want to go to prison. I won’t say anything without my lawyer.”

That would have been unfair indeed.

I wondered whether the stranger in the plane had been a criminal or an agent of the federal bank.

In either case, Josh should have gone straight to the police and given them the device. But Josh was too timid.

While Claire was just a layman with good knowledge in legal matters and no real shark, she was certainly able to help him out there.

For that avail, I picked up my cellular phone in order to call the future shark from Santa Clarita.

Josh wondered what I was doing, but he would understand that it was for the better of him.

####  2:4:2:3  Milo Creery

#####  2:4:2:3:1  Witness Protection?

Claire Sawyer had represented Josh successfully in fromt of officer Garcia,2:58 the chief of the county police of LA.

The officer was consternated. “The gang of **Milo Creery**2:59 must be behind it.” Those are the most dangerous money fakers of the whole country.

As they had certainly noticed the mixing up of the devices by now, they were most likely hunting Josh for it.

Claire Sawyer requested witness protection for Josh and Drake.

Garcia granted us observation by some officers. He also remarked: “The official FBI agent responsible for Creery’s case happens to be in Los Angeles.”

We were urged to talk to him. We shrugged, awaiting the arrival of said high ranked officer.

The special agent walked in, and he looked a whole lot like — no, he definitely was — André Chaumont, the so-called French boarding school adminsitrator. This was a shock for me.

I stammered. “Monsieur Chaumont?”

He grinned. “Really, this was a disguise in order to research undercover on your campus.”

I choked. “Research what? or would you have to kill me if ...”

The agent shook his head. “No longer. I have heard rumours that Samantha and Melanie Puckett, students at Pacific Coast Academy, are relatives of Miles Creery.”

Well, I was not really surprised, at least not in the case of Samantha. And it fit nicely into the picture of what I have hitherto heard about their family.

The Puckett twins were in Seattle over the spring break, though, so there was not much to research for us.

But Milo Creery needed to be taken care of.

#####  2:4:2:3:2  Under Observation

2:60

Dean Rivers was little pleased by the fact that our guests had brought quite a few troubles onto the campus. But he was a close friend of the police chef, and so he was very cooperative. “I would be honoured if we could help you striking a blow against organised crime in our country!”

Along came Megan, followed by Dustin and Sandy.

I asked them: “Did you have fun in our absence?”

Dustin nodded wholeheartedly.

Megan gave a more detailed report about the way they had spent the previous hour.

> When I walked into her room, Sandy hardly knew where to start talking. “Are you still pranking your boobs, Drake and Josh? It looks so easy when you do it, they fall for every trap.” 
> 
> I nodded vigorously and wanted to tell her about a few things I had done to them.
> 
> Drake the jerk and Josh the dork are not much alike, except that both of them fall regularly for every booby trap.
> 
> Now Sandy seemed to envy me, and she sighed deeply, moaning, “why can’t you write a guide about how to pull pranks? There are so many jerks and dorks at Pacific Coast Academy to try that, especially Logan Reese, the greatest coxcomb ever, and Wayne Gilbert, a dweeb even dorkier than your Josh.”
> 
> I shrugged because I had not yet thaught about it, although I had uploaded a few pictures of my pranks to the interweb.98 “You think anyone would like to learn from me? That would be cool!” 
> 
> We ordered some ice cream in order to celebrate the whole idea.
> 
> Sandy admitted that she has been partly inspired by a web site run by Edmond Bigby, a student at James K. Polk Middlke school in nearby Santa Clarita which provided kids with valuable survival tips for middle school. This _Declassified School Survival Guide_ is not yet known in San Diego, though, but it will soon become really popular.
> 
> I still have to think about the details for the whole thing which was not going to be quite easy as I was not exactly a tech freak, although I had been able to deploy some modern devices already for my pranks, most of them deployed by one Simon Nelson Cook, a student from aforementioned James K. Polk. But I was sure that it was going to be a hell of a fun.

Well, I was sure that it would be a lot of fun for the younger kids here to pull pranks on me and the other high school kids, as well as on the teachers and stuff members.

>Dustin was particularly keen on being able to learn from Megan Parker. Well, if he had learned playing the oboe like her instead ...

But I doubted that we future victims, both here at Pacific Coast Academy and at other schools, would be excessively pleased.

Alas, maybe Megan’s pranking abilities would help the police to catch Milo Creery? Shehad already done something similar a year ago.

Two thieves named **Buddy and Guy** had got Drake and Josh to sell stolen barbecue sets for them.2:61

The boys were arrested for that, and only released after Megan had set a trap for the evil creeps.

#####  2:4:2:3:3  Caught

And Megan had made it again. She had fooled the criminals into believing that she was selling the device back to them, which, of course, was a trap. Back when she had saved Drake and Josh from prison, she had been totally believable as a cunning salesman, and this worked the same way again.

Milo Creery was now caught, and Los Angeles was once more a safer place for Drake and Josh.

The gales of Colorado had calmed down, and thus Megan was bound for a flight to Denver in order to be with Jessica.

Drake and Josh were up to negotiating with Gustavo Rocque, which would be a hard task, given the record master’s choleric attitude, even if moderated by his charming secretary Kelly.

####  2:4:2:4  Gender Defenders

Finally, the guys and girls from Santa Barbara were back.

I was right about one thing:

Malcolm Reese had used them for a new production, but not an action movie. He was producing a game show _Gender Defenders_.2:62

This show made a team of four boys and one of four girls fight each other.

The first discipline had been some kind of treasure hand all over the estate. The girls won this one, because Marc had been totally lame, just as usual.

The second discipline involved dressing nerds in a fashionable manner. This one was the boys’ to take, as the girls lacked a creative person like me.

Thence there had to be a decider in which one of the boys faced one of the girls in a deathmatch, standing on an isle in a pool each.

The girls were presented by Dana Cruz, challenging Marke del Figgalo as the spokesman of the boys. Dana had got no difficulty sweeping the dweep of his feet, and then he almost drowned and had to be excluded from the rest of the combat.

Oh well, we girls were obviously better, without any doubt left.

Before starting with the games, the kids had been told that this was only a test run, without cams, and that only the winner of the show would thereupon be invited for the real première of _Gender Defenders_. But, indeed, there had been hidden cameras, and this was already the first run to be shown on TV.

And now it was time for watching the first session of the game show on Malcolm;s Family Channel.

I was already excited to see my pals — even if our relationships were terribly stressed as of recently — in action.

##  2:5  Prime Time At PCA

###  2:5:1  A Peruvian Alpaca

####  2:5:1:1  Lazy Headmaster

Quinn Pensky had just completed one of her most useful inventions, well, one that would have useful if working properly.

This one was a machine allowing Dean Rivers, or any other office boss for that matter, to minimise the need for standing up, moving, and using his hands in order to get some tasks done, such as brewing coffee, opening or closing the doors, and similar deed.

The system was completely voice driven, eliminiating the necessity of pressing buttons, pulling levers, flipping switches, or similar activities that caused unnecessary extra work. The best of it was some included mechanism for scaring away unwelcome intruders by emilating the sound of a huge bunch of barking and biting dogs.

The system had been developed in the room next door, and this had caused a lot of troubles and noise because of the many undocumented features of its compounds.

For example, instead of closing the door, it had opened the window. The latter had smashed Mark’s skull and hurt him badly.

Likewise, the built in coffee machine had squirted hot tea all across the hallway, staining Lola’s new dress badly right before an audition for a new movie.

Quinn’s first demonstration in the headmaster’s office had been a plain success, and she was sure that she could sell it and then claim a patent on it. Thence she would also offer it to other customers.

There were so many lazy headmasters all over the land, such as **Harvey Crubs** ,2:63 the vice principal of James K. Polk.

Megan had also once told me about a certain **Mrs.  Brandywine** ,2:64 a headmster at some school that I was never able to remember who traversed her campus in a wheel chair, inspite of not being physically handicapped.

Anyways, Dean Rivers loved the office automation, and he ordered it on site. He would soon be able to scare his wife **Tipper Rivers** ,2:65 off the administration building, just by using the build in dog function.

The evil and psychopathic wife of our headmaster had been upset because our boss had spent thousands of bucks on new video games and a game sphere.

It was unbelievable that the two of them were still a couple. Maybe a divorce would have been troublesome and bad for the Dean’s renown.

Quinn promised an all-inclusive support hotline, and repairs within twenty-four hours, just as all those companies do, although they keep on inventing white lies for delays and inept customer service.

####  2:5:1:2  Otis

I was disputing with Nicole and Lola about the value of bagels for our nutrition, and thus we had to look up something on the interweb.

We were especially addicted to the bagels sold by aforementioned Schneider’s Bakery, not only one of our school’s greatest sponsors since its very foundation, but also the main source of our cafeteria, our snack vendor machines, our pubs, and our snack carts for bread and other pastry-based supplies.

Melanie Puckett rhapsodised over **Cheesecake Factory** ,2:66 a restaurant for kids run by Schneider’s and located in downtown Seattle.

The most popular product of said bakery were so-called fatcakes, but they were way too ... well ... fat for my taste.

Suddenly, Quinn walked in on us, and she told us to leave us her terminal. “My laptop is currently out of order, so I need to use this one for an urgent video conference with my parents.”

I sighed deeply and left the computer to the nerd girl.

A picture of Quinn’s parents and a woolly mammal appeared.

The latter was an alpaca, and it was very similar to a llama, inspitye of Quinn being allergic to calling it like that. His name was **Otis**.2:67

Quinn had never told me what that name was meant to say.

So, why was everything so urgent?

**Doc Venia Lange** ,2:68 the veterinary in charge with Otis, had just diagnosed the alpaca with depression.

I wondered whether beasts could really go depressive, but I had no reason to doubt the judgment of the vet.

The reason for Otis’ depressions were, as was easy to see, the long absence of Quinn from Seattle during the running academic year.

As aforementioned, Quinn was able to keep several small pets on the campus, notwithstanding the strict prohibitions, by hiding them successfully from the eyes of the staff. But this was not possible for something as big as an alpaca.

I almost puked upon imagining what would happen when such a beast emptied its bowels onto our dormotory floor.

Anyway, Quinn was totally shocked by those news, and it broke her heart apparently right down the middle, making her turn as depressive as her favourite pet. She was especially upset at herself because she had spent the spring break with Logan and the gang in Santa Barbara instead of returning to Seattle in order to be with her alpaca.

I had no glue with respect to the question what to do about Quinn’s misery.

Being with Otis was probably the only think to help her for real.

But neither was it possible to bring Otis to our campus, nor for Quinn to leave it for several days straight during the running academic year, a violation of the rules for us students that would most likely lead to suspension and expulsion.

Quinn’s mother, by the way, was little helpful. She promised to keep good care of Quinn’s ostrich.

So, while confusing a llama with an alpaca was biologically a very minor mistake, mistaking it for an ostrich, one of those big African birds that can’t fly, would never have occurred to me.

Only later would I hear that Quinn had indeed also got an ostrich, at home in the outskirts of Seattle because it did not fit onto our campus, either.

The name of the huge bird was **Marvin** ,2:69 but Quinn had got several pets of that name, including a king snake.2:70

I really did not know how to cheer her up.

####  2:5:1:3  The Bet

#####  2:5:1:3:1  Forbidden Letter

During the last two days, the guys from 148 Maxwell Hall had started sounding extremely outlandish, and they were only stammering bits and pieces of sentences.

There had to be something seriously wrong with them, and it was annoying as hell.

The reason was sort of a quite stupid bet they had started. Each of them had claimed to be able to avoid the letter _S_ completely.

Well, Chase had got that letter in his name, which meant that they had to avoid calling him in the usual way.

But there were of course many other obstacles. The boys were not allowed to talk about their favourite food: sushi. They must have been tortured badly by this fact.

Michael Barret was the worst off. He had currently got a crush on **Vanessa Tayler** ,2:71 the captain of our volleyball team.

And a certain letter appears undeniably in this name ...

Alas, what were the stakes of their bet?

The loser was forced to ceross the campus in some totally embarrassing outfit. OK, this was as terrible as can be, and it was better to find a way to teach the boys a lesson ... the hard way!

#####  2:5:1:3:2  Dustin’s Idea

Dustin had already started studying the art of pranks from grandmaster Megan Parker.

And so had a few hundred ofd elementary school kids throughout the country, and there would be more of them every day.

Megan Parker was now particularly proud of some **Katie Knight**2:72 from Minneapolis, and on a certain **Piper Peckinpaw**2:73 from San Diego, the younger sister of aforementioned Kelly Peckinpaw.

But that was still besides the issue, as we could not fetch the girl from Minnesota, which would have been harder than grabbing Quinn’s alpaca from Seattle.

Dustin remembered a story told by Megan abouyt a really silly bet of Drake and Josh:

> Drake is totally addicted to unhealthy snacks, such as candy, cheese puffs, pork crisps, and stuff like that.
> 
> Josh, on the other hand, is stupidly addicted to dumb video games, such as those played on the new game sphere from Pear Electronics.
> 
> So the two of them started a bet, claiming that they were able to give up on their obsessions.
> 
> But a decent bet needs a witness, and this task was assigned to megan.
> 
> The little smartie made up a betting contract between Drake and Josh.
> 
> Whoever lost had to dye his hair all pink.
> 
> The hitch was: The boobs were too stupid to read the contract, and they thought that only the first to break his respective vow was forced to dye his hair.
> 
> But this was not what the contract said.
> 
> So, in the end, both Drake and Josh, after getting each other to break the promise, were forced to go pink.

This sounded like the perfect way to teach the three useless guys a hard lesson.

In order to make it waterproof, I asked Claire Sawyer to devise the bet contract between Michael Barret, Chase Matthews, and Logan Reese.

Upon this, I would also learn that Lisa Zemo, Jennifer Mosely, and Claire Sawyer had obtained scholarships for high school at Pacific Coast Academy, and thus they would be fellow stingrays with the start of the upcoming academic year.

OK, the boys were now so due for a few serious teachings they would never forget ...

####  2:5:1:4  Fix The Bug

The situation of Quinn was turning worse and worse.

This was especially the case once Quinn’s recent invention turned out as buggy as soon as Dean Riveres dared to spill some coffee over it.

Quinn had promised some all-included support hotline, and breaking this promise would impossibly improve the headmaster’s mood.

I asked Mindy Crenshaw for help, given that the geek girl from San Diego was not unlikely to be able to understand and fix Quinn’s inventions.

Melinda grinned when she heard me mention Otis. “He is not an arbitrary alpaca, but the Peruvian variant. Peruvian alpacas are resistant to the poison contained in Peruvian puff peppers, do you know that?”

I had to admit to being totally ignorant.

Mindy continued, “see, Peruvian alpacas would have died out if they had not become immune to it. That is evolution 101!”

I shrugged helplessly. “sounds ... cool!”

Mindy nodded solemnly. “The genetic structure of Otis will allow us to examine what is needed in order to neutralise said poison, and it may be the key for producing the ultimate blend of bananas and puff peppers in a way that does not bear the health risks of puff pepper, but also avoids the vulnerability of bananas to certain pests and malevolent herbs.”

I kept on refusing to understand. In particular, I did not see how all this was relevant for finding a way to save Quinn from her depression. My last idea had been that of organising an alpaca party.

Quinn’s boyfriend Mark del Figgalo would have been dressed as an alpaca, and I would have made an alpaca cake, using grandma’s cream cake recipe.

Likewise, a video conference with Seattle would have been established, making Otis wear a fancy party hat that I had designed a few weeks ago.

But there were huge problems with this plan.

Quinn’s mother was still the same idiot that she had always been and would always be.

There was no such thing as an alpaca costume in our drama club’s storage.

Lola had searched it from head to toe, with several pictures in her hand allowing her to tell a an alpaca apart from other animals.

Alas, the only mammal costume available was one of a beast that turned out to be an ant eater.

And if Quinn was already allergic to calling Otis a llama, making it look like an ant eater would have hurt her feelings infinitely much more.

Another problem was the inside of the costume.

The spring sun of Los Angeles was already providing for quite some heat, spoken mildly.

And under the hood of the costume, the heat was probably not bearable for someone like Mark del Figgalo, causing him to collapse and stuff.

We would have to take care of the uncomely dweeb, and this would have upset Quinn even more.

####  2:5:1:5  Bawb And Zeebooh

Once more, Dustin tried to come to my rescue, using his knowledge accumulated in Megan Parker’s academy of pranking.

A few months ago, Megan had purchased a sheep from the interweb, going by the name Bawb.2:74 She was of course not allowed to keep it in the residence of the Parkers and Nichols, and thus she fooled Drake and Josh into taking care of it and getting grounded after being caught by their evil parents. A month later, she repeated the same thing with a zebra named Zeebooh. Megan had fooled the ... erm ... boobs into believing that those stripes demarking pedestrians’ crossing on the streets were raised from zebras, and that they would have been able to earn a few bucks by it.

Needless to say, Drake and Josh had got themselves enmbarrassed once more by their reckles naiumlautvity and stupidity.

So, how would we be able to apply this to Otis?

Dustin grinned.

> Michael has recently badly failed in keeping his promise, by talking about “sweet Vane”
> 
> Secure in the knowledge that they had won the bet, Chase and Logan started celebrating carelessly, clearly using the forbidden letter several times. These idiots did not know that they were now subject to the agreed punishment as well.
> 
> In other word, both Michael Barret, Logan Reese, and Chase Matthews were now supposed to cross the campus in some provocative girl’s dress, and with a blinking alert lamp on their heads.
> 
> Gracious as we are, we will save them from this embarrassment by allowing them to choosing an alternative:
> 
> They will have to host Otis for a few days in their dormitory room instead, getting themselves into trouble instead of Quinn.

I gasped. “Aw, you ... brother of a bitch!”

Dustin smiled proudly.

####  2:5:1:6  Otis At PCA

#####  2:5:1:6:1  Temporary Solution

The dumb boys from 148 Maxwell Hall had swallowed Dustin’s bait, complete with hook, line, and sinker.

Of course Logan was most disgusted by having to deal with the dirty business, and he tried as much as only possible to bribe Chase and Michael to perform the uncomely tasks.

Nevel Papperman and Venia Lang had taken the wooly beast down to Los Angeles in order to let Quinn see it.

I had got the strange feeling that I was checked out by Mindy’s little cousin, a boy of Dustin’s age.

That was weird, wasn’t it? Well, at least he was gone after two days. He had been allowed to take the trip because it was declared as a field excursion by Doc Lang, a part time teacher at Nevel’s school, **`Priorwood Prep`**.2:75

The whole enterprise had turned out pretty well for now.

But, after all, it was by absolutely no means a permanent solution.

I wondered where Megan’s pets had gone to.

#####  2:5:1:6:2  Faye Dunnaway

Dustin had researched the above question, finding out about the current residence of Bawb and Zeebooh.

Now we were at the horse ranch of one **Faye Dunnaway**.2:76

It was located not far from Malibu, and it hosted both bawb and Zeebooh. As was not hard for Quinn and Doc Lang to figure, it was like perfect for Otis, as well.

And whenever Quinn had got a few hours to spare on an open weekend, she could make it up to here in order to be with her favourite mammal.

Uncle Glazer had taken us to this farm, Although he was officially more of a human medic, he was also responsible for Bawb and Zeebooh, and thus he knew his way around here very well.

There were also other animals:

I liked black stallion Winchester2:77 particularly much.

But the most surprising inhabitant in Faye’s stables was a talking pony2:78 which told us stories about some pop group managed by Gustavo Rocque, and which praised pancakes in a song.

Michael Barret, although happy about getting rid of Otis, was not here with us, because he was horribly afraid of horses, since he had been kicked in his face by one of them.2:79

But Chase was here, as he admitted that he had always dreamt of having his own zebra, naming it Zeebooh, just like Megan’s.

Strangely, I caught Venia Lang and uncle Glazer holding hands and hiding in one empty stable. I wondered what was going on over there.

Dustin told me that our uncle was probably having a stable relationship — for the first time in his life.

###  2:5:2  Take It To The Rooftops

####  2:5:2:1  Chicken Pox

Unfortunately, lots of kids living in a limited area also implied the consequence of fast spreading childhood diseases.

This time around, a wave of chicken pox had struck the campus of Pacific Coast Academy.

Fortunately I had already gone through that disease a few years ago as an elementary school kid, while Dustin was already living here at this boarding school.

But Dustin had not yet encountered that disease, and so he was one of the first victims.

The school had of course got its rules about sanity and health care.

As the chicken pox were highly contagious, yet not a threat like the real black pox, Dustin was allowed to stay on the campus, but he was moved into the nurse’s station until it was safe for the other kids to release him again.

The old nurse here at Pacific Coast Academy was known as a mean bitch, but Dustin was lucky that aforementioned Shannon Holman was now responsible for the elementary school kids.

Being a loving and caring elder sister, I visited Distin a lot at the infirmary in order to look whether he was improving. Apparently, he did very well, but I also sensed that this was in part due to some more or less evident crush on Shannon.

That was of course no good, as he would certainly end up heart broken.

####  2:5:2:2  Sunshine Envy

During those spring days, the periods of time where we wanted and were able to enjoy the strengthened sun were growing longer and longer. The best places to do so were certainly not somewhere on the campus ground in the shadow of the towering buildings, but, quite the contrary, the roof tops.

Those of our residence halls were all huge and flat.

But this did by no means imply that they were equally suited for relaxing after classes and during the weekends.

The roof on top of the residence hall of Chase Matthews, Logan Reese, and Michael Barret, for example, was bright and sunny most of the time. This was by no means the case with our own residence hall. The reason was a fairly large tree standing to the south west of Brenner Hall. In the afternoon, it blocked out most of the direct sunlight. In addition, it provided homes for the aforemention giant squirrels which were still roaming out campus.

The rabid rodents were able to bite and hurt badly, as correctly feared by Dustin, and they made a hell of a noise, but, worst of all, their excrements stank up our rooftop when the wind came form the sea, and this was the case, as explained by Quinnm during the afternoon hours, videlicet the time of teh day when we needed it most.

Was the boys’ rooftop large enough to host boys and girls? Well, at least sometimes it was, depending on many things.

But were the boys willing to share with? Unfortunately, this was barely the case, especially not under the dictatorship of the bucks of Logan Reese.

Even Chase followed Logan’s excessively bad example, and he destroyed Lola’s boomboxes while she was relaxing on their roof top.

Michael was a bit different, for he was now dating Vanessa Tayler and he hoped her to be allowed to come with him to the roof top.

Logan explained that boys needed a place to be among themselves, and those locations had become less and less since the start of the coeducational era. He claimed that boyds could not be themselves when girls were around, and that this was a biological question. Well, he was certainly not the brightest guy in biology classes, so what did he know?

There was hardly anything we could do about it, or so it seemed. Well, we could have excluded them from our lounge, as we were envied for it, because it was fairly new, as opposed to that of Maxwell Hall.

But Nicole Bristow was opposed to doing so, as there were too many cuter boys to watch come and go.

After all, this sounded like some case of very cheap boomerang tactics, and it was below our dignity.

Sandy and Tracey Baldwin wanted to set another booby trap for Logan Reese, just as last time, and then force him to grant us access to the roof. Sandy had learned a lot from Megan Parker during the last weeks, enough to make the stupid guys pay dearly for their perverted attitude.

Lola Martinez had got a different idea: She wanted to crossdress as a boy and then move into the boys’ dormitory rooms, proving that there was not really a difference. She was a perfect actress, and she deemed it a perfect rôle.

I liked that idea, at least at first glance.

But, unfortunately, Lola was not the only girl here deeming herself able to fill in that character of a faked boy.

Trina was still claiming that she was the more gifted of the two sisters, although she had completely accepted Logan’s idea that she was more of a born supermodel and body builder than an actress. But, unlike for a theatre play, portraying a boy did not imply learning some text by heart, which Trina left to Lola. Thus she insisted in applying for the job.

This triggered immediately the usual sister versus sister conflict in the house of Vega and Martinez.

I suggested to drop that idea on site.

####  2:5:2:3  Technical Report

The other possibility would have been that of improving the top of our roof in a way that made it peer to the boys’, maybe even better.

But what were the possibilities for achieving such a goal?

Quinn was summing up some potential agenda. First, she was talking about the possibility of removing the tree.

Unfortunately, this was a move that would hardly find the approval of the school’s administration.

While Bradford would not care in the slightest about a tree more or less on the campus. **Edward Bagly** ,2:80 former Hollywood star and nowadays canditate of the green party for the office of the mayor of Malibu, was very offensive in his actions against offenders against the environment. And after the fiery accident that had occurred on our campus, it was easy for the authorities of Los Angeles county to come up with new rules prohibiting new projects going on on the campus. They had already delayed several times the envisioned reconstruction of the monument of our foundation father.

Thus Spencer Shay would only start with this monument at the beginning of the next term.

Quinn’s next idea was that of using a complicated system of mirrors and lenses in order to redirect the sunlight and send it thus onto our roof top after some detour.

I remembered having heard about the usage of mirrors by Archimedes, some ancient Greek guy who had set ablaze the Roman fleet in the Mediterranean by means of polished mirrors. Thus I feared that the whole system would cause our dormitory roof to go the same way as the kitchen of Sushi Rox.

Quinn complained: “Hey, where’s the fun?”

In addition to the danger of yet another inferno on our campus, it would not have removed the problems caused by the roaming mutant squirrels.

So, you certainly still remember the happy skunk hunting mentioned earlier on?

Well, unfortunately, Gordy had by no means been successful. He had only caught Coco and other extreme dull heads, but not a single skunk.

I was not necessarily convinced that he was able to scare away the squirrels, either.

But Quinn had got some idea to deal with this problem. “There are odors that influence squirrels, but not us humans.” She wanted to use those strange chemical essences in order to lure the flashing rodents from the tree in front of our residence palace over to the roof of the boys’ dormitory room.

This way, the boys would be forced to suffer from the incredible stench of squirrel excrements.

That sounded mean and subtle.

But I totally agreed with most other girls that Logan and his henchmen totally deserved such a treatment.

The boys would rue it utterly and completely.

####  2:5:2:4  Heartbroken

Indeed, Dustin had stayed a bit too long in the nursery, just because of Shannon.

According to the rules for medical treatment at our school, nurse Shannon had to pass the case to an officially approbated medic.

Uncle Glazer was currently not in town, otherwise I would have suggested him in this case.

Dustin preferred being treated by people that he was pretty familiar with instead of strangers.

The only one available at this time was **Doc Hollywood**2:81 the hotel medic of nearby Palmwood.

Too bad for Dustin, Shannon and Doc Hollywood seemed to get along quite nicely, and he saw them silently holding hands in the next room. This was way too much for my little brother to digest, and he had to vomit all over the place, and this had nothing to do with his already cured chicken pox.

During the summer break, I would have to help Dustin to get over his malicious heart break. I had seen that coming, but I had not been able to stop it in any way. Now I was very much consternated.

Too bad broken hearts were much harder to cure than broken limbs and chicken pox, be it for Doc Hollywood or for uncle Glazer.

So, this was my second year here at Pacific Coast Academy, and many events towards the end of it were not very pleasant.

We needed to get over them during the summer break, for the next academic year would await us with a lot of changes and new students, teachers, and staff members.

* * *

2:1
    from _Drake & Josh_: _The Bet_
2:2
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Surprise_!
2:3
     cf. _Alone At PCA_ et alibi
2:4
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Time Capsule_
2:5
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Elections_
2:6
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Haunted House_ , with a surname from same actor’s part in some third-party work
2:7
    in _Zoey 101_ : _Haunte House_ , Zoey does not understand French, but she does so very well earlier in _Zoey 101_ : _Little Beach Party_ , which suggests strongly that she is feigning and cheating here for some reason
2:8
    from _Zoey 101_ : _Haunted House_
2:9
     anonymous in _Zoey 101_ : _Haunted House_ et alibi, with a name poarodising the actor’s name
2:10
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Haunted House_ and _Zoey 101_ : _Rumor Of Love_ with a name borrowed from parts of the same actress in diverse third-party owned works
2:11
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Girls Will Be Boys_ , with a surname borrowed from same actress’s part in some third-party owned work
2:12
    cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Rollercoaster_ where Lola bites Logan!
2:13
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Defending Dustin_
2:14
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Bad Girl_ , with a surname from a part of the same actor in some third-party owned work
2:15
    from _Zoey 101_ : _Bad Girl_ , identified with **Samantha Puckett** from _The iCarly Show_
2:16
     _The iCarly Show_ : _iTwins_
2:17
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Bad Girl_ , with a surname from a part of the same actor in some third-party owned work
2:18
    from _Zoey 101_ : _Bad Girl_
2:19
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _School Dance_!
2:20
     from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_ , also **Buddha Bob** from _Big Time Rush_
2:21
     from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_
2:22
     from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_
2:23
     cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iHate Sam_ _’_ _s Boyfriend_!
2:24
     cf, _The iCarly Show_ : _iWas A Pageant Girl_
2:25
     cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iRock The Votes_!
2:26
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Broadcast Views_
2:27
     from _Zoey 101_
2:28
     _The iCarly Show_ : _iNevel_ et alibi
2:29
     from _Victorious_
2:30
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Broadcast Views_
2:31
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Chase_ _’_ _s Girlfriend_ et alibi!
2:32
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Robot Wars_ et alibi, with a surname as a spoof of the actor’s
2:33
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Robot Wars_ with a surname borrowed from the same actor’s part in some third party production
2:34
     both from _Drake & Josh_
2:35
    cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Robot Wars_
2:36
     from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_
2:37
     from _True Jackson VP_ : _True_ _’_ _s New Assistant_ et alibi
2:38
     from _Bucket & Skinner_ _’_ _s Epic Adventures_
2:39
     from _Big Time Rush_
2:40
     from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_
2:41
     from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_
2:42
     from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_
2:43
     from _Zoey 101_ : _People Auction_ and _Chase’s Girlfriend_
2:44
     from _Zoey 101_ : _People Auction_ and _Chase;s Girlfriend_
2:45
     cf. _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_ : _Fundraising_!
2:46
     from _True Jackson VP_ : _Keeping Tabs_
2:47
     from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_ , with a surname from a part of the same actress in some third-party owned work
2:48
    third-party owned song by Drake Bell
2:49
    both from _Zoey 101_ : _Lola Likes Chase_
2:50
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Lola Likes Chase_
2:51
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Little Beach Party_
2:52
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Lola Likes Chase_ and _Quinn’s Alpaca_
2:53
     identified with Katie from _Drake & Josh_: _Megan_ _’_ _s New Teacher_
2:54
     cf. _Drake & Josh_: _Drake And Josh Go Hollywood_!
2:55
     occasionally mentioned in _Drake & Josh_
2:56
    from _Big Time Rush_
2:57
     brand from _Zoey 101_ : _The Radio_ and _Drake & Josh_: _Drake And Josh Go Hollywood_
2:58
     from _Big Time Rush_ : _Big Time Break_
2:59
     from _Drake & Josh_: _Drake And Josh Go Hollywood_
2:60
     for prompt _Booby Trap_
2:61
     cf. _Drake & Josh_: _The Gary Grill_!
2:62
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Spring Breakup_
2:63
     from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_
2:64
     from _Unfabulous_
2:65
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Quinn’s Alpaca_ and _Coffee Cart Ban_
2:66
     from _The iCarly Show_ : _iWin A Date_
2:67
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Quinn’s Alpaca_
2:68
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Quinn’s Alpaca_ , with a surname from same actress’s part in third-party owned _Hunger Games_
2:69
     from _The iCarly Show_ : _iMeet Fred_
2:70
     cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _Girls Will Be Boys_
2:71
     identifies Vanessa from _Zoey 101_ : _Quinn’s Alpaca_ and Tayler from _Unfabulous_ : _The Picture_
2:72
     from _Big Time Rush_
2:73
     from _Bucket & Skinner_ _’_ _s Epic Adventures_
2:74
     cf. _Drake & Josh_: _Sheep Thrills_
2:75
     from _Zoey 101_ : _iMight Switch Schools_
2:76
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Quinn Misses The Mark_
2:77
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Quinn Misses The Mark_
2:78
     from _True Jackson VP_ : _Keeping Tabs_
2:79
     reported in _Zoey 101_ : _Silver Hammers_
2:80
     from _Big Time Rush_ : _Big Timr Live_
2:81
     from _Big Time Rush_


	3. Third Year

#  Chapter 3  Third Year

##  3:1  The Return

###  3:1:1  The Baywatch

Finally, another summer break was all but over. 

Thus it was time for me and Dustin to return to Malibu in order to make it to the start of the new academic year at Pacific Coast Academy. 

This time around, my dad was not coming with us. 

But we were already great enough to take care of ourselves, weren’t we? 

During the summer, I had worked as a baywatch at Pacific Bluff, a wonderful surfers’ hangout in San Diego County. I had hoped for some hot but still smart and interesting male teenage surfers to collapse not far from me, requiring me to jump to their rescue, best with a kiss of life. 

Alas, the only time I needed to apply that technique was in order to save some elderly woman that had collapsed when stepping into the sea in her much too small bikini suit. What was worse, the beasty fury bit my tongue during that procedure. But now she had probably recovered very well. 

And the only surfer trying to impress me was a certain **Aloe** ,3:1 apparently a middle school boy copy of Logan Reese. 

I was definitely not interested in applying the kiss of life on him, either. 

Dustin had visited Megan Parker in her home in Belleview. It was still hard for me to believe that my little brother had befriended the mischievous little sister of one of the greatest teenage idols. Even more, he and dad had talked Megan’s and Drake’s mom into sending their daughter to Pacific Coast Academy for this year! 

Did this also mean that Drake was going to show up here on our campus more often? 

Dustin had learned a lot about pulling pranks, and this way, he had been able to overcome the shock of seeing his crush Shannon Holman, the nurse of our infirmary, make out in front of his eyes with doc Hollywood. 

Unfortunately, I became the victim of his pranks quite a few times, but that was nothing really scary. 

Megan’s most dangerous student was by all means aforementioned Piper Peckinpaw from Pacific Bluff, and she had fooled me quite a few times, but she was more into tricking adults, anyways. 

Fortunately, Kelly Peckinpaw was always around in order to restrain her litlle sister. 

Dustin had spent many days and a few nights in the treehouse of neighbours’ boy **Robert Carmichael**.3:2

The latter was also going to attend classes at Pacific Coast Academy for the next academic year, like quite a few nother people. 

I was also informed that the Shays from Seattle were related to Drake and Megan. 

In particular, Megan and **Carly Shay** , the little sister of sculptor Spencer Shay, looked quite similar, which would possible be a challenge for us to tell them apart. 

###  3:1:2  On The Campus Again

####  3:1:2:1  Gauntlet To Brenner Hall

At the beach shop in Pacific Bluff, I had bought a plush squid,3:3 my new favourite stuffed pet. I had decided to take it along with me to boarding school. 

And fortunately, it was a bright sunny day, but the downside was that the Californian late summer heat was once more suffocating us, making the walk from the drop site to the residences a bit cumbersome. 

Dustin had at least promised to help me getting my luggage done, and this included my plush squid. 

Alas, I should not have relied on Dustin’s promise, for it did not take much for him to let me down. 

Jack Ross had invited him to come with him and two new girls to the beach. 

I should have been upset, but I was not able to be mad at Dustin, because I wanted him to be able to forget the disaster with Shannon Holman as soon as only possible with slipping into the next Trisha Kirby alias Samantha Puckett. Apropos Trisha ... I would run into that creepy lass soon enough, a truly scary thought. 

A moment later, Chase Matthews ran across my way. he was carrying his guitar, although he sucked at playing it and did so only because he thought that his poems sounded cooler when accompanied by the accoustic instrument. He was also carrying a bunch of golf clubs. He had joined the golf club of Pacific Coast Academy already last year, but without his own clubs. Basically, he had served Logan as a caddy. This year, he wanted to be more independent from him, well, at least he was allowed to dream of that. Apparently, Chase was totally hasty. 

I wanted to ask him to help me with my belongings, includimg the plush squid that had got the nasty habit of slipping and sliding away every other step. But I was totally out of luck. 

As it would turn out later, Chase wanted to secure for himself the single bed in his dormitory room. Alas, he was bound for the wrong dormitory hall. Alas, he had terrible problems with his guitar and the clubs. who used to fall to the ground on and off, making his progress a bit tedious. 

I would have told him, but when I noticed his mistake, it was already too late. I sighed because I had been left on my own. 

####  3:1:2:2  Missing Room

Finally, I had reached my dormitory room, 101 Brenner Hall. 

This sounded like business as usual, but it was nowhere near like that. 

The room next door, which had used to host Nicole Bristow, Quinn Pensky, and Lola Martinez was inaccessible for some reason. 

According to their cheat sheets, those girls were now assigned to a room that did not exist. 

Quinn had already complained with Coco. “The messy matron has mistaken her bra’s string and cupsize with our dormitory number, becayse she had ordered new lingerie at the same time as checking the new dormitory assignments.” 

Unfortunately, their regular room was now marked as uninhabitable, and it was locked completely. 

Usually, room assignments were not the tasks of the dormitory adviser, but the boarding management. 

But **Miss Burvich**3:4 was out of the business for quite a few months due to serious psychic health problems, caused by all the annoying students here on the campus. 

Honestly, few kids here were not glad about her absence and wished it to last for the rest of their life at Pacific Coast Academy. 

Her substitute, a certain **Conroy** ,3:5 had been hired only a few days ago, and his office would not open before next month. 

Due to the lack of any better idea, Coco decided to stuff the five of us into one dormitory room, 101 Brenner Hall, until the arrival of Conroy, and let him solve the problem. 

####  3:1:2:3  Claustrophobia

OK, I had got no great feeling from the beginning. 

Dana and Nicole in one roome had been a horror trip for me like two years ago. And now things were worse because they had to stick to much less space per girl. 

Maybe we were lucky and the many months of therapy conducted by Doc Lowe had at least helped somehow. 

Lola had occupied the top bunk, telling that her little sister had always occupied it at home,3:6 making Lola envious. 

Dana requested the bottom bunk, just as usual, and insisted in her decision at any cost. 

There was now a mismatch: Three beds were available for five girls. 

Now I remembered how Chase and Michael had borrowed two tents from Coco Wexler at the beginning of te previous academic year. I decided to ask our chubby dormitory adviser for the same. “I am suddenly suffering from claustrophobia and need ...” 

Nicole smiled. “Hey! I know what that is! Claustrophobia is the fear of people named _Claus_. I once knew a guy with that name, and he was definitely not cute. I will come with you, Zoey!” 

Coco shrugged. “Sure, I have still got those tents, but you have to clean them and patch them on your own, if you mind the mud stains and the holes from my summer break trip to the Big Bear.” 

Nicole squealed joyfully: “Oh, I love the big bear. It is a giant teddy bear, and I used to have one of these as a little girl, a gift from my uncle who had robbed a toy shop for it, and ... OK, I will shuit up.” She had already felt Dana’s fists in her neck. 

I grabbed Nicole, telling her: “Come, let’s go and fetch a tent or two for us.” 

Nicole grinned. “Yeah, but I may choose the colour. I love pink, buy I hate grey.” 

A few moments later, we would leave this room for the time being. 

####  3:1:2:4  The Tents

Coco had not exaggerated when talking about the state of the tents. 

It would be impossible for me to patch them for tonight. I did not have appropriate tools at hand, such as awls and strong yarn, let alone suitable tent cloth or leather. 

But if the weather stayed as it was, there was not really a need for a waterproof tent skin. In addition, the tents were heavy, and we also had to carry our own luggage on top of them. Both of us still remembered well the troubles we had when arriving here on the campus and having to drag our belongings to our dormitory hall. And this task was now a bit harder. 

There was no pink to choose, and we had to use a dark blue one, whose colour was hidden ’neath a layer of dried mud, anyways. 

And now off in search of a nice camping site! 

####  3:1:2:5  Fist Fest

We panted and moaned like a rusty steam engine when we crossed the campus, carrying both our belongings and one tent for the two of us. A second bunch of cloth, leather, ropes, poles, and hooks would have made us collapse, and it was hard enough this way. 

This was drop day, and the campus was more busy than during the regular day of an academic year. This was due to the additional traffic caused by visitors and helping family members, and by the fact that students were not yet stuck in their class roioms and had got the time to loiter on the campus, blocking the passage ways one for another. 

It was thus also necessary to select a decent place for our tent that would not get run over every finute by another crowd of hustling and bustling students. 

I hoped for a few strong boys to help us out. 

Even Logan would have served that purpose, and, right in this moment, a picture of him appeared in front of my eyes. 

No, this was not a hallucination: We had really stumbled into Logan and Michael, spotting them donning boxing gloves, ready to hit each other into the next millennium. 

I asked: “why are you trying to hurt each other?” 

Michael explained that it was all about the single bed in their room. He claimed that it was time for him to get it, as Logan had occupied it for himselfd since their arrival at Pacific Coast Academy. Of course he was lying, as Logan had occupied the top bunk during my first year year at this boarding school.3:7

Logan insisted that it was his natural right as the natural born leader of the kids at Pacific Coast Academy to get granted the privilege of a single bed. 

The boys had already tried to leave the choice to the one arriving first in their dorm, but this had ended in a tie between Mchael and Logan, while Chase had been late due to taking a wrong turn. 

And now a fist fight was supposed to settle the conflict. 

Nicole wondered: “Where have you got those cute mittens from?” 

Logan and Michael started swinging fists. They pretended to have found those gloves lying on the campus. 

I sighed. “You better dare to render them unto their righteous owner, or else ...” 

Michael and Logan refused to care. 

I grunted: “If it is an international champion, you will get yourself in trouble.” 

Nicole squeaked. “Ouch!” 

I noticed an inscription on one of the professional looking mittens, reading: “Shelby Marx”.3:8

The name did not tell me anything, but it was now clear whom I had to look for. 

We left the brute force guys behind us, looking for a better plce to establish our tent. 

####  3:1:2:6  Camping Site

After half an hour of running in circles, we had found a place a bit outside the most trotten paths of the students and visitors. 

This here was a spot on th ridge of the campus, just on the brink to the sandy dunes. 

There was not much traffic, and thus we were not likely to get run over. Unfortunately, it also decreased the chances of running into helpful boys ready to erect the tents for us. 

Thus we were in for some tedious work, although we were already thoroughly exhausted. 

I started to talk about my summer break to Nicole, and I had to listen to her story about summer in the wild wastelands of Kansas. 

Bored to death by Nicole’s story and exhausted beyond that by the work on the tent, I fell asleep. 

Nicole had not been much of a help, by the way ... bear with it. 

But then I woke up again, startled awake by my little brother. “Dustin? Aren’t you at the beach?” 

My brother shook his head. “Been there, done that.” He sighed deeply. “I have got two new room pals: Robbie Carmichael and Nevel Papperman.” 

I gasped. “Nevel? Wow! Mindy has not told me that he was coming, too.” 

Dustin moaned bitterly: “Nevel annoys me. He has asked me many questions about you.” 

I coughed. “Questions? Like what?” 

Dustin sighed deeply. “Like when you will marry him ... that sort of questions.” 

I gasped. My impression of being checked out by Dustin’s agesake, which I had had towards the end of the previous academic year, had not been wrong. I muttered unto myself: “What does Nevel Papperman think?” 

Nicole remarked: “Don’t marry Nevel Papperman, he is not cute! Wait, do marry him, and leave the cute boys such as Nicholas Webber all for me!” 

I glared at my friend. “Thanks, Nicole, but I am able to look for boys on my own.” 

Nicole shrugged. “I have to go to the campus boutique before it closes down, and buy a cute dress for a cinema date with Nicholas. See you after the movies!” 

I shrugged. “What about our supper?” 

But Nicole was already up and away, although most of the shops on the campus were not open until the begin of regular classes. 

Dustin had more things to talk about. “I just met Logan Reese and Michael Barret on the campus. They seemed to fight over the single bed.” 

I nodded. “Who won it?” 

Dustin admitted to having tossed a coin for them, and that he had let Michael win. 

I coughed. “You cunning trickster!” 

Dustin reported: “They had already eaten Peruvian puff peppers for over an hour in order to figure the toughest guy in their midst.” 

I coughed. “Are you sure those were puff peppers?” 

Dustin nodded solemnly. “Logan boasted with them. He and his family own the biggest Peruvian pepper plantations.” 

I told Dustin about the dangers of puff pepper, as learned from Quinn Pensky. “The two of them are in danger of kidney failure and chapped lips. I have to tell Quinn about it.” 

Dustin looked consternated. Then he decided to return to the campus in order to see more friends. “There are a few new pretty girls in my classes, I have to check them out.” He waved at me and ran away, leaving me all alone. 

####  3:1:2:7  Killer Bees Swarm

I had fetched some takeout food from a snack cart and returned as soon as possible to my tent. On the way there, I had already tried twice to reach Quinn and tell her about the puff pepper pods. 

Alas, Quinn had not picked up her mobile phone, or she had even deactivated it. 

For that avail, I was now calling Lola Martinez in order to inform her. 

The Hollywood starlet was totally excited. “Imagine ... Quinn hads got a beehive in our dormitory room, because she wants fresh honey every morning, and she has got lots of other disgusting stuff.” 

I coughed. “Good for you!” 

Lola grunted. “The bees had escaped, and this was terrible. Fortunately, they love ravioli, and so they just followed Coco, who was eating a half empty can of half rotten spiced pasta. Now they are wreaking havoc on the campus.” She mentioned that Quinn was looking after Coco in order to retrieve her scattered bee hive. 

“Good luck, Quinn!” I sighed deeply. Then I started telling Lola about the fights between Michael and Logan, from the fist fight to the dangerous puff peppers. “They had found mittens of a certain Shelby Marx and knocked each other ...” 

Lola gasped. “Are you sure? Shelby Marx?” 

I nodded. “Yeah, the inscription says so.” 

Lola sighed. “I never wanted to tell you:” She stammered, whispering: “But Shelby is my alike looking little sister, and she is the junior champion in light weight mixed martial arts. She moves like a gazelle and strikes like a thunder bolt.” 

OK, the boys better returned the mittens as soon as only possible, and with a really good excuse, and a huge bouquet of flowers, or they ould be in deepest trouble. 

But I told Lola sternly to inform Quinn about the puff peppers. 

The pretty Latina promised to do so. 

I fell asleep on site, unable to even await Nicole’s return. 

###  3:1:3  Kicking Butts

####  3:1:3:1  Awakening

The first sunrays stabbed my sleep like a freshly sharpened dagger. 

This was my first night in the tent, and it was coming to an end. 

Nicole woke up by my side, and she had wrapped her arms tightly around me, probably all night long and out of fear. 

This made it hard for me to move and to stand up before Nicole was fukly awake. 

And now my bimbo friend accused me of having destryed her dream of cute boys at the beach. She struggled tio get up, and she kicked me involuntarily. 

Now we were ready to leave for breakfast for the cafeteria. 

Coco did not expect us to return the tent unto her every morning and borrow it agian every evening, did she? 

We were definitely too lazy for that, and we left it out in the dunes. 

####  3:1:3:2  Shelby Marx

On our way to the cafeteria, we encountered Logan and Michael. making fun of girls. 

Logan was particularly taunting my new class mate **Stacey Dillsen** ,3:9 a girl from Massachusetts that was interested in acrobatics, astronomy, and woodshop, and that spoke with a penetrantly lispy voice. 

Along came Lola, wait, this was not Lola it was ... Shelby Marx, as Lola hardly wore a jogging suit, as this girl did. She complained: “Hey, you guys are Logan Reese of Reese Broadcasting and Michael Barret?” 

The guys nodded. “You know us, Lola, so what ...” 

Shelby grinned. “Hey, I am not Lola, I am her baby sister, Shelby Marx. And I have heard that you lads had something that belongs to me ... two pairs of boxing gloves.” 

Logan laughed. “Hah, you brittle wench can’t fool us.” He explained: “Boxing is a kind of sports for men ... real men, that is! You girls would never dare to use them. I bet you can’t even fit your fragile fingers into these mighty mittens.” 

Michael nodded solemnly. “Certainly not!” 

Shelby growled: “Hey! You better guard your tongue, and you hurry up ...” 

Logan laughed, taunting Shelby: “or else ... what?” 

Shelby clenched her fists, flattened her palms, and then she used her right leg in order to sweep the naughty boys off their feet, and her empty hands in order to fling the wretched bodies of the louts and bullies into the shrubs across the campus drive, making them scream for their moms. She shrugged. “Guys ...” Then she shook her head and walked on. 

I chuckled merrily, because the annoying boys had it coming, and quite so! 

Nicole pouted. “Ouch!” 

Logan and Michael returned from the shrubbery, their shirts tattered and covered with some nasty stench. They had met their little furry friend again ... 

###  3:1:4  Basketball Crisis

This day was not full of classes. 

My most important agenda included the trials for the basketball team. 

During my first year at Pacific Coast Academy, I had flunked it because of being confused by Takato, but during the previous year, I had made it into this illustrious circle. I had also designed our outfits, but this did nort help me much. 

We had got some important regional title to defend, and that one I was better not going to screw up. 

The biggest obstacle appeared to be Coach Keller, who was a real pest when compared to former Coach Ferguson. 

Having slept in a tent with Nicole had not helped improving my abilities. 

I was pretty much nervous, and I had to score a few free throws first. I panted heavily, aimed, and ... scored! 

Apparently, not everyone was that lucky. 

This was especially the case for Logan Reese. Granted, he had been knocked and kicked dizzy by Shelby Marx. In addition, he had been enshrouded in some malodorous cloud. Only due to Quinn’s new power deodoriser had it been possible for Logan and Michael to get rid of the stench in time for the trials. But now his free throwing abilities had started to stink like crap. 

Keller threatened seriously to throw Logan out of the team, something unheard of during the last four years, and which would have weakened our team seriously. 

Keller disappeared from the field in order to fetch a sushi in Kazu’s and Rose’s new Japanese pub. 

Along came Joshuah Nichols. “Hi, Zoey, have you seen Megan today?” 

I shook my head. “I may ask Dustin, they are now class mates and hang out with the same group.” 

Joshuah held some kind of parcel in his hands. “From mom for Megan ... I don’t even know what is in it.” He sighed deeply. “Megan does not really need it, and so she forgot it conveniently in my car.” 

I grinned. “OK, give me the parcel, and I will forward it to your little step sister. I think she is trying out for our soccer team.” 

Josh moaned for relief. “Thanks. Oh, you play basketball?” 

I nodded solemnly, and I explained the status of this game at our school. 

Josh reported: “My grandmother is still a great basketball player.3:10 She takes it up with today’s teenagers.” 

I was disappointed by Keller in general, and I choked. “Maybe she may coach our team and improve it a lot?” 

Josh grinned. “Good idea! I will ask her.” 

I had not been really serious, but now it became interesting. 

And indeed, Grandma Nichols would soon replace Coach Keller as our coach and lead it to a new golden era of our basketball team. 

###  3:1:5  Cotton Swab Blues

Stacey Dilsen had not had a great start here at Pacific Coast Academy. 

I had just entered the cafeteria in order to show Josh to Megan’s place, for he was worried about her first day and her first night her at this new school. 

There we saw a bunch of cotton swabs scattered on the floor. “What is that?” 

Chase sighed deeply. “Stacey Dillsen had built a cotton swab model of her dream house, and I have destroyed it by chance.” 

I glared at Chase. “Can’t you keep better care of your steps, you useless cretin?” 

Chase shrugged helplessly. He picked up the swabs, buthe did not know how to glue them together again. 

Stacey was shedding tears all over the place. 

Josh stepped up to her. “Hi ...” 

Stacey sobbed. She explained, using a lispy voice: “Stacey Dillsen, from Swampscott in Massachusetts. I would have loved to work in dad’s carpenter’s shop, but he does not allow me to do that heavy stuff. So I build a sculpture of my dream house, with cotton swabs and white glue. But this dork runs into me and ruins it all the time.” She pointed at Chase. 

Josh sighed. “Sorry for that. I think I may help you there. Don’t worry about your lispy accent. People always make fun of me for my big head, and it just makes me stronger.” 

Stacey smiled. “Really?” 

Josh nodded solemnly. “And my step siblings ruin my ambitions all the time. I have now got some spare time to help you.” 

Stacey grinned. “OK, let’s go to my lounge?” 

Josh nodded solemnly and followed his new friend. 

Maybe there was something growing between the two of them? 

###  3:1:6  More Cartoons

Last year, Chase and Michael had started a web show on their own, with mediocre success — put mildly! — due to — among other things — their limited technological knowledge and experience. 

One of their main interests had been that of presenting cartoons. 

Chase had originally given up on his web show in favour of submitting his works to Toon Juice, but now he had changed his plans. At supper in Kazu’s reopened bar, he explained: “I met a tween guy named **Fredward Benson**3:11 who is willing to take over the technical production of our web show.” 

I had never heard about said Fredward. 

He was, according to Chase, a new middle school kid from Seattle that had just arrived at Pacific Coast Academy, along with the Shay siblings. 

I shrugged. “Good for you, but your moderation style is still lousy.” 

Chase sighed. “Carly Shay will do that for us, leaving me and Michael all time to take care of the cartoons!” 

I grinned. “It seems that you found a lot new friends at the beginning of this year!” 

Claire Sawyer, also new at Pacific Coast Academy with her friends Jennifer Mosely and Lisa Zemo, declared: “I recommend a standard social contract for your web show ...” 

But Chase did not care at all. 

Of course I had also found a few new friends, but I had not got anything going on as ambitious as Chase. And I did not see what great challenges were still awaiting me during the new academic year. For the time being, I was most nagged by Nevel Papperman’s apparent crush on me, and of course by the lack of a decent bed. 

Soon, Conroy would show up and fix the terrible problem, but until then, sharing the tent with Nicole was my only option. 

##  3:2  Autumn Blues

###  3:2:1  Coco Goes Nuts

####  3:2:1:1  Back In 101

After a week, the problem caused by Coco’s lack of ability to tell room numbers apart from cup sizes was fixed by Conroy. 

Alas, it had been neither the first nor would it be the last of Coco’s abominable incapacities. 

So, how was the dormitory problem fixed? 

Dana Cruz had been disgusted beyond any reason by Quinn’s scientific experiments. Thus she moved voluntarily into the reopened dormitory room next door, leaving a place for me. 

Nicole Bristow was also disgusted by those weird things, and she followed Dana into her residence room, inspite of their mutual hostility. 

This left me with Quinn and Lola in 101 Brenner Hall for the very duration of our sophomore year. 

Of course Quinn’s attitude had not left me unscared — and for that I had ordered Claire Sawyer, future lawyer, to prepare a room mate contract that outlined clearly the limit of what Quinn was allowed to do. 

Quinn looked aghast when seeing all those rules, but she signed anyways, although she was forced to pass her beehive to Mindy Crenshaw. She had claimed that she need her bees just for fresh honey. 

But after all my bad experiences with Quinn, I had become suspicious of her motivations, and I was secure in the knowledge that she was up to some diabolic experiments, such as creating mutant bees from science fiction shows. For Quinn Pensky was the one and only person I knew to turn each and every science fiction horror into bitter reality. 

####  3:2:1:2  Defect Miniplane

I met Dustin and a few of his friends out on the campus. I had decided to take better care of him during these days, as I did not want him to go through another heartbreak of the Shannon Holman kind. 

The boys were fumbling with something that looked like a model plane. 

According to Jack Ross, it was no longer working for whatever reason, although he did not know anyone able to repair it. 

Dustin wanted to ask Quinn Pensky to repair the thing. 

I shook my head. “Haven’t you learned anything from working as a test model for Quinn?” 

Dustin glared at me. “Er, what do you want to say?” 

I explained: “Quinn is certainly able to repair the mess, but can you properly handle it afterwards?” 

Dustin sighed deeply. “You mean it will wreak havoc, like most of her inventions?” 

I nodded solemnly. “Quinn will use your plane in order to test her latest inventions, and those are out of control.” 

Dustin sighed deeply. “OK, I will ask the new seventh grader, Fredward Benson.” 

I nodded solemnly. “I guess that’s a better idea.” I sighed for relief. “Or go and play with a model plane made of cotton swabs and white glue, made by my new class mate Stacey Dillsen.” 

Dustin choked. “The one talk with a terrible lisp?” 

I nodded solemnly. “But cotton swab models don’t explode like a bomb and they don’t keep you awake for days straight until you drop unconscious.” 

Dustin sighed deeply. “OK ...” 

####  3:2:1:3  A Wretched Dormitory Adviser

#####  3:2:1:3:1  Trashed Again

The presentation of this year’s cheerio uniform had just been completed. 

Just as during the last year, I was the artistic creator of their outfits. I had to design some extra size for Rebecca Trinidad Martinez, because her cupsize was even larger than Coco’s. 

Well, Rebecca’s arrogant personality, comparable with that of Logan Reese, was certainly the greater problem, even a bit more than just her body proportions. 

But there I had got a problem with the cheerio girls in general. And I was aware of the fact that it was by no means any different for the other schools. 

At James K. Polk, according to Claire Sawyer’s comments, a certain **Mercedes Griffin** ,3:12 generally just known as **Missy Meany** , was one creeping annoyance of a cheerio girl. 

This excessive arrogance had already been a massive problem with Dana during our first year at Pacific Coast Academy. 

But the others were no better: **Miranda Franklin** alias **Makeout Mandy**3:13 was probably the worst of all of them, as already indicated by her nickname. 

At least this was the first year in which the number of girls at Pacific Coast Academy was in the same region as the number of boys, leading to the possibility of a proper cheerleading squad, without the need of hiring guest cheerios from neighbouring schools, which had been necessary before the age of coeducation and during the last two years. 

I was walking down the campus aisle when I spotted Coco Wexler, our chubby dormitory adviser, lying on the floor like a heap of misery. 

Yes, she had never been a good employee, and she had most likely been employed for no other reason than that Bradford wanted to save bucks when extending the staff for the coeducative era, and that Coco, as a high school dropout, was dirt cheap. But why was she lying there, weeping like a baby leftwithout candy? “Why can’t you just tell Quinn’s killer bees to sting me to death? ” 

The mobile phone in her hands provided me with the necessary insight: Her boyfriend, a certain **Carl Body Slam Bubba** ,3:14 had trashed her again, as he had done every other week, and this time, he was going the way of technological advancement and used the message box of her cellular phone. Carl was the coach of our softball team, the ultimate joke figure of our school’s athletic world. Only the gods and devils knew why overlord Bradford had not disbanded that team long since. 

#####  3:2:1:3:2  Taking Care

I did not care in any way whether Coco felt comfortable down there on the pavement, it was obvious for me that it was no good idea to leave her there on the floor in order to let her rot like excessively foul vegetables. 

But as sure as hell Coco was too heavy for me alone to lift up and to carry away to some safe place, if there was even any I was aware of. 

Two adult men approached the scene. 

I recognised one of them as Custodian Gordy. “Hi, may you help me with that problem?” I pointed at the wretched dormitory adviser. 

Gordy introduced the other man. “Spencer Shay, the new teacher for woodshop! He had just set one of Stacey Dillsen’s cotton swab models ablaze, and I had to extinguish the inferno.” 

I shrugged and shook hands with Spencer. “Hi, I am Zoey Brooks, a sophomore.” 

Spencer grinned. “Nice to meet you. I have already heard lots of good things about you.” 

I shrugged. “I know that you are here to build a new monument of our foundation father. But would you please help me to get rid of that weeping chubby mess?” I also wondered whether Stacey was OK now. 

Spencer nodded. “You are right. This is the perfect place for the new monument. But the lady here is in our way. Gordy, let us ...” 

Gordy sighed. “The nightshift will clean up this place.” According to Claire, he always used these words in order to skip a task. 

Spencer shrugged and tried to grab Coco by her wrists in order to help her up. He told Gordy to grab her legs, joining forces. 

The two manly men — or so they tried to make us believe — were still struggling hard with the heavy weight spinster. 

Spencer reported “I gave Stacey the keys for the woodshop hall, and now she may use all tools and materials for her own works of art. This makes her happy.” 

This sounded good. 

Gordy wondered: “Where to drag Coco?” 

Spencer shrugged. “Don’t you have a few empty janitors’ closets, until next week when the van comes with the delivery of new detergents for this academic year?” 

Gordy nodded. “Oh, indeed!” 

Spencer was very eager dragging the chubby wretch to such a place. 

Coco moaned: “Aw Spencer, your arms are so stromg. Take me to your apartment! You may make me a can of warm ravioli and cold cookie dough!” 

Spencer had to puke on the spot. He was certainly not to be envied for being Coco’s new target. 

But this was no longer my problem, and so I returned to my dormitory room in order to enjoy the rest of my evening. I heard the adult man moan and cough a lot while dealing with Coco, but I did not care any longer. 

Foretunately, Spencer would soon get rid of the fat wench, leaving her to custodian Gordy. 

The two staff members were certainly a totally cute couple on our campus. 

###  3:2:2  Quinn’s Bacteria

####  3:2:2:1  The Scream

Lola Martinez was still on the best way of becoming a Hollywood star. 

But the competition was growing, even here among the students of Pacific Coast Academy 

Ashley Blake was three years younger than my girl next door, but she had already starred in many movies since her early youth. And now she had joined our school, together with her brother **Vincent Blake**.3:15

Many people had thought that arrogant Ashley had only made it up to there because of the good contacts of her parents, and that she lacked any talent for acting. But the little diva worked hard towards proving what she was really worth. 

But now, Malcolm Reese had started auditions for a new movie in which a damsel in distress had to scream for help, awaiting the rescue by the noble white knight on his steed. 

Lola and Ashley had both applied for the auditions, and in order to be considered, they were supposed to deliver a perfect damsel scream. 

Needless to say, Lola’s incessant squeals annoyed us to no end. 

But I had to help my class pal to get the job, and thus I had let her persuading me into pretending to be a monster up for eating her. 

During the due scream, I encountered an incredibly cute boy named Danny,3:16 who appeared right on sight in order to save us damsels in distress with his wielded hockey stick, and now we were appointed. 

But, hey, this went a bit too fast, did it? 

I better watched my back, or else ... 

Just like Takato, Danny was completely unknown on our campus, but he was definitely not a mysterious guy as such, just not yet familiar. 

But having turned more careful during the last two years, I decided to refrain from agreeing on a date with him, not without further informations. 

####  3:2:2:2  Quinn’s Jealousy

#####  3:2:2:2:1  Mark And Maria

Quinn Pensky was still dating Mark Del Figgalo, or at least she dared to call it dating him. But their relationship was now overshadowed by darkening clouds. Quinn had observed Mark hanging out with another girl during the lastr few days, a certain **Maria Misa**.3:17 Of course she had to think that there was something wrong. 

According to Mark, Maria was in his literature classes, but later, he would tell Quinn that he was teaching her how to knit. 

I was not yet very familiar with that new girl, but I tried hard to calm Quinn down. Even when Quinn reported a hug between Mark and Maria, I tried to make her believe that not all hugs were alike. 

The geek queen was working on some biochemical experiment. She had prepared several test tubes, filled with bubbling liquids of variable consistency. 

We wondered whether Quinn was trying to invent something in order to hurt Maria. 

She refused to affirm this, but she admitted to having invented a laser zapper in order to harm the girl. But she was still too upset and excited that she fumbled and flailed wildly, hitting her test tubes, and ... spilling their contents all over the floor of our dormitory room. 

I looked consternated. “Are those things dangerous?” 

Quinn shrugged. “I have not yet tested them, because Dustin has refused to swallow a bottle of the stuff. But I have to inform the authority for bio hazards in Los Angeles.” She grabbed her phone and wasted no other second. 

Lola screamed like an idiot, whether it was for the shock or in order to practise for aforementioned movie I could not tell. 

Quinn informed us that the hazrd team was already on its way. She triggered the red alert button, telling all other students present in Brenner Hall to leave this building right on site. 

Alas, the three of us were not allowed to leave, because — according to Quinn — we were most likely contaminated. 

Only the security team of the bio hazard authority would be allowed to access our room, and they would test us whether it was safe to cancel the quarantine again. 

Unfortunately, the back exot was currently partially blocked by Spencer Shay and the foundations for the new monument of Old Bradford. 

This way, almost all traffic had to pass the main entrance or the fire ladders. 

Finally, the building was empty, barring the three of us. 

This would be a very fun time, with Lola screaming on and off just for practice, and with Quinn worrying jealously about Mark and Maria. 

#####  3:2:2:2:2  The Long Syringe

The guys from the harzard team had just arrived, and they were up to sucking some blood off us for an examination of the peril caused by Quinn’s germs. 

The syringe was very long, and it made Lola almost pass out. 

If the bacteria was deemed harmless, we would be released. Otherwise... no, I did not want to think about it. Fortunately I had got all the time in the world. 

But Lola was worried about missing her audition. 

And Quinn, of course, was worried that Maria would abuse the quarantine shamelessly in order to seduce Mark any further. 

At least we had still got our cellular phones in order to communicate with the outer world, but only as long as our credits lasted. 

Of course we were not allowed to order sushi from Kazu’s and Rose’s, so we had to do with baby meals in Quinn’s closet. 

The nerd queen still ate those goos, for whatever reason. By the way, she had just talked to Mark via cellular phone and laptop. She was now even more worried about the whole mess. 

At the same time, Lola started screaming again — for the umpteenth time. But this time, she was not feigning: A big bird spider was sitting on her bed, Quinn’s pet spider **Herman**.3:18

Quinn was upset, because Lola’s squels scared her spider. 

As I was also worrying about my little brother, I decided to call him on my on phone. 

Dustin had already been informed about our destiny by Jeremiah Trottman and his campus news. “I have already called Glazer, so he may treat you if the bacterias are evil.” 

I sighed bitterly, as I did not even dare to think about that case. “OK, thanks, but we will talk later about it ...” I panted rhythmically. 

Quinn was getting more and more nervous. 

I started another phone call, this time with Nicole. 

The bimbo girl from Kansas ws obviously by no means aware of how serious our situation was in here. She was up to going to cinama with her fiance Nicholas Webber, which was of course good for her. But her remarks about the quarantine were so naïve. “Cool, then you don’t have to go to classes until the bacteria gets deemed harmless, or maybe never again. Too bad we can’t switch.” 

#####  3:2:2:2:3  Nevel On Screen

There was another way of communicating with the outer world, but none of us girls were really aware of it. As reported earlier on, Quinn had installed a two way television system between her old room and our current room. 

And now the corresponding plasm screen activated itself, although only Quinn had got a remote control for doing so — or so it had been commonly believed. 

Nevel Papperman, the middle school boy from uptown Seattle, appeared on the screen. “Hi Zoey!” 

I looked aghast, because I had heard several times from Dustin about Nevel’s feelings for me. And now I felt stalked. 

Quinn growled at Nevel, wondering how he had been able to activate the screen from outside Brenner Hall and to attach an external web cam to it. 

Nevel chuckled. “I have read Mindy’s sketches and plans for the network, and I have drawn my own conclusions.” 

Quinn was little pleased by the leaking informations.“I will have to mince a serious word or two with Crenshaw.” 

I was still flabbergasted. “What do you want, Nevel?” 

Nevel replied: “a kiss, a kiss, is what I seek ...”3:19

I coughed noisily. “Forget it!” 

Nevel sighed deeply. “You will so change your opinion ... sometimes ... and if it is the last thing to do!” 

My face went more and more pale. 

Nevel continued: “By the way, I hate germs, and I know that Quinn’s germs are harmless.” 

I gasped. “I wished that we knew that, too. So how may you ...” 

Nevel explained: “Mindy has told me about the germs, and what dangerous substance it may generate.” He coughed and stammered a long chemical formula, impressing even Quinn. “My fine olfactory senses allow me to smell that crap for half a mile. And I don’t smell anything. So I conclude that ...” 

Quinn nodded solemnly. “That sounds logical.” She growled: “Those hazard guys are just plain stupid, or else ...” 

Unfortunately, Nevel’s feelings for me still made not much of a sense, not unto me. Nevel said good-bye to me. “We will talk about it again when you are out of there. Or you will rue your decision, sooner or later.” 

I choked, wondering: “Was that a threat?” 

Before terminating the connection, Nevel played a tune on his recorder for us. “This was the _Slave Choir_ from Giuseppe Verdi’s _Nabucco_ ” 

Lola wept. “I hate that music!” 

But would the hazard team come to the same conclusion about the bacteria as Nevel, before we started to rot and decompose? 

#####  3:2:2:2:4  Mark’s Intentions

There was still no reply from the hazard team. We hoped that Nevel was rght, at least here. 

A few hours later, Dustin called me again. 

I was already totally stressed by the long hours of isolation, and I expressed this in the phonr call. 

Dustin reported: “Sandy and I have spied on Mark and Maria, using some creepy devices invented by Megan.” He described a plasic cake with a built in web cam.3:20 and a plastic cactus with a built-in microphone.135 “Mark is so stubborn, I tell you ...” 

Quinn was immediately about to walk through the roof. “What are they doing? A supper, a movie, holding hands, locking lips ... tell me, now!” 

Dustin grunted. “Well, they went to dinner at Sushi Roz ...” 

Quinn sobbed bitterly. “Dang! I knew it! A chop of salmon, a bit of tuna, and I am rid of Mark, for good.” She panted violently, like a dragon ready to spew a fire storm. “That bitch will pay for stealing Mark off me!” 

I tried to calm my pal down. “Quinn, would you please let Dustin continue with his report?” 

Quinn coughed. “What difference do the details make?” 

Dustin nellowed: “Hey, they are not really dating.” He explained: “Maria Misa is the best student in the art classes of Spencer Shay. And she has been hired by Mark in order to portray him, like Rubens, Rembrandt, van Gogh, or similar guys.” 

Quinn coughed. “Why would he do that?” 

Dustin explained: “It is planned as a surprise gift for your next birthday.” 

Quinn was now totally excited. But she did not regret having overreacted. And now she was up to feigning that she had been ignorant concerning the whole surprise plan. 

OK, this time, Quinn and Mark seemed to be safe. 

But given the whole mess of secrecy and jealousy, I was sure that their relationship was doomed for failure, not today, but sooner or later it would break into smithereens. I would have told my room pal about my doubts, but now she was not willing to hear them, and she would be upset at anyone expressing them, as if she had never had any of those in the first place. 

Dustin also had something to tell me. “I have also spied on the guy that you met at the campus fountain earlier today.” 

I was excited. “Danny?” 

He shrugged. “Is that what he pretended to be called?” 

I looked aghast. “What do you mean to say?” 

Dustin moaned, “He is not a student at Pacific Coast Academy, but a college guy from University Of California, Los Angeles. He is working for a dangerous organisation that is up to no good, and he is spying on you because you are so important.” 

I coughed noisily. I did not know whether to believe him, but I was sure to stay away from that evil creep for the rest of my life. 

####  3:2:2:3  Free Again

The hazard team had finally confirmed the harmless character of Quinn’s bacteria, and released us again from Quarantine. 

Nicole Bristow was now glad to be allowed to return to her dormitory room. “I had to sleep on a bean bag in the lounge of the middle school girls, that was worse than ten nights in a tent with you!” 

Dana had spent the night in Coco’s tent on the beach. “It still stinks like Nicole’s farts!” She clenched her fists. “If I catch the one who is responsible for the red alert ... woe to her!” 

Fortunately, Quinn was not around, she was celebrating her release somehow with Mark, probably boring him to death. 

Stacey Dillsen was most upset about the night outside of Brenner Hall. “I had to sleep in the janitors’ closet in the elementary school girls’ dormitory hall. This was absolute horror. And than I had met a cute tall blond guy, **Dennifer**.3:21 But I was told by Jennifer Mosely that this Dannifer was a regular heartbreaker that had already seduced and trashed several girls at the same time.” She started weeping. 

I sighed. “OK, tall blond rakes are not worthy of you, trust me. They only abuse girls. Better stick to boys that match your league, such as Joshuah Nichols.” 

Stacey looked at me. “Josh? Really?” 

I nodded solemnly, making Stacey think about a lot of stuff. I was now still worried about Nevel and his words. _What was Dustin’s room pal really up to?_

##  3:3  Rough Boys

3:22

###  3:3:1  Chemistry

####  3:3:1:1  Bad Marks

Usually, I did not have troubles in any of my classes here at Pacific Coast Academy, and that would be good for my college folder. I aimed for the ivy league, and every mark counted. 

This had hitherto even been the case in the natural sciences. 

But this year, chemistry classes stank big times, and I had got insane difficulties following the classes of **Cynthia Bromwell**.3:23

It was about the structure and consistency of chemical molecules. As a consequence, the classes punished me with a _C plus_ , for the first time in my life at Pacific Coast Academy. This was a shock for me, and it would become a dark stain in my college applications unless I managed to get rid of it until the end of this term. 

I begged for another chance in order to improve my grades for this term. My first idea was that of going for a project for extra credits. 

But according to Bromwell, this was no good idea, and that I better went through tutoring. 

I shuddered. So far, I had always been the one to tutor the others: Chase, Logan, Michael, Dustin, and even Quinn! “Hey! I am Zoey, I know everything, and you all shall learn from me!” Now I was supposed to ... I panted forth and back, thinking: “At least getting tutored sounds like a lot less work than preparing a project for extra credits.” 

Of course, tutoring required a tutor. 

Mrs. Bromwell insinuated that she had already got someone in her mind. 

####  3:3:1:2  Spectroscopy

Many people wpuld have guessed that my room mate Quinn was able to tutor me. But, honestly, she was not someone to explain things well. 

We had once been assigned project partners for laboratory classes, and it involved something named spectroscopy, something that sounded really complicated. 

Quinn had tried to funnel the definition of that word into my head, over and over again, by letting me repeat it word for word. She had pretended that she had already known to say stuff like that as a kindergarten girl. 

But later I would learn that she had not been interested in science before the age of seven.3:24

OK, this experience had been enough to prove that Quinn was not suitable as a teacher, and that the search had to go on. 

I guessed that most nerds were like this: Wayne Gilbert, Melinda Crenshaw, and on and on and on it went. 

You needed to be a nerd yourself in order to be able to understand them when they try to teach you. 

####  3:3:1:3  Nevel Say Nevel Again!

I was strolling the campus on the way to the spot where I was appointed with Cynthia Bromwell in order to get her chosen tutor assigned. 

A gentle breeze was blowing across the walkway, forcing me to adjust my cape. 

It as already one of the cooler periods of the years here in the greater Los Angeles area, but this did not mean it was really cold, for that never happened during my whole life in 101. 

Suddenly, a voice sounded in my back. “Miss Brooks!” 

I gasp, ecause I fatally recognised that sound as the voice of Nevel Papperman, the stalking middle school kid. I turned around. “Do not dare to waste my time!” 

Nevel growled: “You better listen to me, or you will rue it!” 

I growled: “Listen, I am on my way to get a tutor assigned, and ...” 

Nevel nodded solemnly. “You take it less easy than you should, the whole chemistry stuff ... He knew obviously a lot about my situation.” 

I was so close to get Claire Sawyer to work on an agreement forbidding Nevel Papperman to approach me closer than some hundred yards, or miles, or someting like that. 

The middle school stalker continued: “Why are you so into getting a better a mark in chemistry?” 

I looked at him. “Isn’t that obvious?” I explained about my plans for Harvard, Princeton, Yale, ... 

Nevel snobbed. “I know that you can beat them all, but is that really your dream? I know that you can do better!” 

I coughed. “What do you know? How do you know so much?” 

Nevel replied: “I have squeezed a lot out of your brother, and I have heard a lot of good things about you from Mindy.” 

Melinda Crenshaw must have tried to hurt me this way. 

But now I wanted to see the tutor chosen for me by Miss Bromwell. 

Nevel grinned. “Oh I know whom she chose. Does this book tell you anything?” He showed me a book about molecular chemistry. “I found it on Mindy’s desk, it’s her favourite book.” 

I had never seen the book before, and I thought of it like just an average chemistry textbook. But then I felt my eyes stabbed by the name dof the author. “Reese? Just as Logan Reese?” 

Nevel nodded vigorously. “His grandfather is a now retired professor for chemistry at Caltech in Pasadena,140 and he wrote this book.” 

I was still flabbergasted, but I did not see quite the context. 

Nevel explained: “Logan has spent several holidays with his grandfather, and he has learned quite a bit from him, enough to be the best in your classes, but he is embarrassed by this, because he does not want to pass as a nerd.” 

I looked aghast. “Logan will tutor me?” 

He nodded solemnly. “And you may believe me, he will only do this ion order to humiliate Chase Matthews, rubbing more and more salt into his wounds by making you believe that the two of you are dating. He knows that he can still torture Chase this way, and the hell he will do it.” 

I shuddered for disgust, as I had not got any doubt that Nevel was absolutely right about Logan’s motivations. “So what do you want me to do instead? Let you tutor me?” 

Nevel shook his head. “I have learned a lot about chemistry from Mindy, but I am not good at explaining things.” He looked darker and darker. “Miss Bromwell deserves a lesson, the hard way.” He cackled gleefully. “And a new teacher for chemistry will solve the problem. But until then ... Your brother has already got an idea, learned from Miss Parker, who had already applied this back at elementary school to some suckish student teacher.”3:25

####  3:3:1:4  Sabotage

I had declined getting tutored, and I had to hope for Dustin’s and Nevel’s plan. 

Teachers at Pacific Coast Academy got regularly submitted to quality control. 

This year, Dean Rivers in person was about to assess Cynthia Bromwell’s teaching skills. 

Cynthia had prepared some experiments for us to join. “You better watch very well, because your laboratory classes will feature the same experiment.” 

We moaned, because this seemed quite of a burden. 

Chase sighed deeply. “With a _D_ , I won’t even get admitted to lab classes.” 

Miss Bromwell mixed two chemicals, and, all of a sudden, the test tube blew up. “Oops!” 

Some bubbly liquid splattered, staining our headmaster’s fine office suit. 

The consternated dean growled: “Miss Bromwell ... what the ... I hope that you have got a good explanatiopn for his ... and you may recommend a good laundry.” He panted. “My wife will kill me if she notices the stains on my new and quite expensive English suit.” 

The teacher stammered helplessly. “Er ... I have prepared a video from last year’s lab classes about the chemical reactions going on in this experiment, so let’s watch it while I call Gordy in order to clean up the mess.” She suspired deeply while she started the video recorder, before picking up the school phone in order to inform the custodian. 

We watched the clip, but there were no experiments. 

Instead, it showed Miss Bromwell wasting twenty minutes of our valuable class time in order to wonder about the hair of Chase Matthews. 

Her main concern was the question whether Chase’s bushy curls were all natural or the result of cosmetic treatment. 

I was sure that they were all natural, and Chase never disputed that. 

But Miss Bromwell was too stubborn to believe us. 

Rivers stomped his feet. “Miss Bromwell, you call that chemistry classes? I am thoroughly disappointed. The hair or Mr. Matthews is none of your business, regardless how tasteless it is. You are fired! And prepare for getting the bill for the laundry subtracted from your last salary!” 

OK. so this problem was solved. 

Bromwell’s successor would be **Mr. Sweeny**3:26 from James K. Polk Middle School, a science teacher known for being hard, but fair. 

This way. I would naturally earn my good grades back, without the humiliation of a tutor like Logan Reese. 

While Nevel had helped me here, I had still not understood what he had meant saying that I could do a lot better than ivory league. But, for better or worse, I would soon encounter the freak again, and maybe I would find out. 

###  3:3:2  Football Team

Pacific Coast Academy was totally keen on the variety and strength of its athletic teams and their victories. 

Unfortunately, there had not been really many of them during the times before the era of coeducation. This had been — certainly among other things — due to the lack of decent support from cheerios. 

As aforementioned, only during my sophomore year was it no longer necessary to hire extern cheerleaders in order to make up for the minority status of us girls. 

And I remembered that during my first days, Logan Reese had insisted that there should not be girls’ teams, and that we are only here as cheerleaders. 

I had deemed this as Logan’s own sexist sarcasm, but, indeed, this was the true raison d’être for the admission of girls to Pacific Coast Academy as intended by those who had decided on this topic when it had been decided on. 

The sponsors were most interested in especially a strong football team, as this was the best representation and thus optimal publicity for their products. 

And, according to studies, decent cheerleading was a major factor for a good football team. 

So, while our foorball team had been thirsting for victory during the last decades, tmy sophomore year had brought a big change. 

Of course cheerleading was not everythinhg, there was also a need for good football players. 

The towering figure and quarterback of our team was now aforementioned Vincent Blake. He was big and strong and a girl magnet, even more than Logan Reese. 

Especially Lola wondered whether he was a good kisser, like almost all sport stars. 

Until last year, Vince had played for **Lincoln** in San Diego County, one of the toughest teams of California.3:27

But the board of our school had offered him a high sum for the switch in order to boost our team tremendously. 

The expected success had come: Our team was qualified for the Californian playoffs. 

###  3:3:3  Unhealthy Snacks

I was totally upset because of the content of our vendor machines. 

Dustin was one of the main user of candy vendors, due to his insensate addiction to ping pongs.143. 

Samantha Puckett was horribly addicted to Candadian fat cakes.3:28

Megan Parker’s life was almost depending on Japanese candy.3:29

Nicole had found a new favourite snack: British bibbles.3:30

We had tried to persuade Dean Rivers into offering healthier snacks with less industrial sugar and other unhealthy ingredients. But this attempt had failed as miserably as can be. 

The headmasters insisted in the contracts with Schneider’s Bakery and Blix, the main furnishers of snacks and soft drinks, because they had been very profitable for us. While declaring this, he played with a mini pool table, shooting accidentally the cue ball into Quinn’s mouth, making her choke badly. 

Now we were gathered in our lounge in order to discuss the situation. 

Jennifer Mosely, Lisa Zemo, and Claire Sawyer remembered a similar situation at their former school, when Vice Principal Crubs had ordered selling only unhealthy sugar coated doughnuts, while banning more healthy fruit cereal bars.3:31

The pupils had to organise a boycot in the locker halls in order to force Crubs to reconsider his stupid decision. 

I was not sure whether this was a good idea, but not doing anything about it would have been the worst possibility. 

Unfortunately, the fruit cereal bars were no longer available in California, for whatever obscure reason. 

Claire Sawyer suggested to investigate that case. “I know a teenage detective and journalist named **Nolan Byrd** from Cedar Valley3:32 in central California, he is the cousin nof our friend Edmond Bigby. He has recently solved a very dangerous environmental scandal at his school and in his home community.” 

I approved of the future lawyer’s suggestion. 

Then we had to do some other research, and precisely one for available healthy snacks. 

Lola discovered **moon bars** :3:33 “Those are very popular in New York City.” 

Being more careful, I decided to ask some people ove rthere for their opinion about moon bars. 

###  3:3:4  Orenthal Cornelius Gibson

####  3:3:4:1  Our Equipment Manager

The team did not only consist of the coach and the players. Nothing was possible without the so-called equipment manager. 

For this academic year, a friend of Carly Shay and Fredward Benson had assumed this job, and this is his story: His name was **Orenthal Cornelius Gibson** ,3:34 but he used to be called Gibby all the way, even by his teachers. He grew up in Seattle, just like Quinn. 

His parents lived apart from each other, albeit in the same street. 

Unfortunately, his teachers at **Ridgeway** ,3:35 the school district of Gibby, Freddie, and Carly, had always deemed him weird, during the whole elementary school time. For that reason, **Principal Franklin**3:36 had tried to push him off to some boarding school in order to teach him better manners, whatever he meant. 

I guess it had to do with his habit of ripping off his shirt in the public for no obvious reason. Well, the teachers and other kids were just stupid. There was of course a reason for my stripping action, even if they lacked the mental abilities of understanding it, period. 

It had turned out very hard for Franklin and his henchmen to find an appropriate boarding school where he was tolerated, and this had certainly not been easy. Thus it was a gift from heavens when Spencer received a call from our headmaster. Franklin was informed about the impending move of Carly to Pacific Coast Academy, and then he had not been able to avoid getting Gibby sent the same way. 

They were not the first students of Ridgeway to be sent there, though, and this did not make it easier. Those forerunners included especially the Puckett twins, Samantha and Melanie. 

Many students at Ridgeway did not even know even about Melanie’s existence, and even Gibby, Freddie and Carly would not have heard about her if they had not been sent right there. 

However, about everyone had been familiar with Samantha Pcukett, and, unfortunately, Carly Shay was the best friend of the ruthless pervert. 

Gibby was now a friend of Dustin, and he had met me for that reason. Now he told me about his first day here on the campus:

> So, this was Pacific Coast Academy? I was impressed, because everything looks rather like a spa resort than a school. But I hope to get accustomed to it, otherwise I will not find any time to learn anything. 
> 
> There is the beach, and all those pools, let alone the bars and so on. 
> 
> My dormitory room is 111 Weiner Hall. According to the manual, the halls are usually named afor the sponsors that had contributed most for their construction. 
> 
> But I had to find it first. 
> 
> On my way, I passed a Japanese restaurant. “I love sushi!” I declared, ready to jump in and get me some. 
> 
> But mom shook her head. “You may check it out afterwards. Let’s get your luggage to your dormitory cell first.” 
> 
> I sighed deeply, clenching my fists. “I will be back, oh spicy tuna rolls, and then you will be due!”

Then he told me about his first moments in his dormitory room.

> Wow, the rooms here look really spacy and bright. 
> 
> I walked in, ripping off my shirt and flinging it into one of the corner. I took breath, finally yelling: “Gibbay!” 
> 
> By now, everyone should have known that I was there. 
> 
> There are three beds, a single and two bunks. 
> 
> I seemed to be the first student to arrive here, and so I picked the single bed. 
> 
> Mom finally left me alone, although I had expected her to help me with my luggage. “You have to learn to manage your belongings alone, I will not be here for you everyday, so you better start now!” 
> 
> I growled, “damned boarding school life!” 
> 
> But where were my room mates?

####  3:3:4:2  Gibby And Melanie

Gibby continued, telling me about his first encounter with Melanie Puckett, here on the campus.

> Done with my luggage, I made it as fast as possible into the Japanese pub alias Sushi Rox. 
> 
> It looked even cooler on the inside than on the outside. 
> 
> Now I know that the building had burned down during the last academic year, but was rebuilt in the meantime due to busily helping students like you. 
> 
> I sat down at one of the tables, waiting for being served. I had donned my shirt again, but this was just a temporary situation, or so I swore. 
> 
> A girl in the likeness of Samantha Puckett, but much cuter and sweeter, entered the same pub. 
> 
> I guessed and yelled, “Melanie Puckett!” 
> 
> The girl looked at me. “Yes?” 
> 
> I squealed and ripped off my shirt again. “Gibbay!” 
> 
> The rag landed somewhere beyond the counter, and I did not even want to know where that was. 
> 
> Melanie looked a bit disgusted, but that made her much hotter. “So— I take it — you are Gibby?” 
> 
> I nodded solemnly and drummed my bare and hairless chest with my palms. 
> 
> Mel sighed deeply. “Oh, hi, nice to meet you. Sam has often told me about you. I am sorry that she is always rude to you.” 
> 
> I sighed when remembering all the pains the blond demon had already caused me. “Yeah, I am sorry for those, too.” 
> 
> Melanie sat down next to me. “I would help you getting started here, but right now — I am in the cheerio squad, well, I have beem during the last year and want to sign up again for this year.” 
> 
> I smiled. “You are certainly a good cheerio! Go — what is our mascot here at Pacific Coast Academy?” 
> 
> Melanie told me that the stingray is our crest animal. 
> 
> I stood up, jumped onto the table, and started yelling all over the place, “go Stingray! Go Stingray!” 
> 
> Melanie told me to be more careful, because people don’t like it when tables break because of people dancing on them. 
> 
> I sighed deeply, deciding to postpone the number. I calmed down and sat again. 
> 
> Kazu, the chef of the bar, asked me for my orders. 
> 
> I asked Melanie to recommend me something. 
> 
> She declared that she liked California rolls here. 
> 
> I nodded, ordering two California roll, and only one pair of chop sticks. I have never had the hang out of using them. 
> 
> The sweet blonde shrugged, and she started talking about her cheerleading experience. 
> 
> I imagined how the football players enjoyed Melanie’s efforts. 
> 
> She agreed, declaring that most of those rough boys live for being flattered by cheerios like herself. 
> 
> I told her taht I wanted to make it into the team, so she would cheer for me. I just want desperately to be cherished by cheerio girls, especially Melanie, but I am neither fast nor strong enough for being a football player. 
> 
> Samantha’s nice sister promised that she would do so, but she deemed it totally hard for me to make it into the team. 
> 
> I shrugged. I knew that it was impossible, but now I needed to sign up and try out, otherwise Melanie would have deemed me a liar. 
> 
> Kazu brought us the ordered California rolls. 
> 
> I tried hard to use the chopsticks, but it seemed to take the name of those tools literally in order to chop the food into smithereens. 
> 
> Melanie was no longer willing to watch. She first tried to teach me using them, but had to give it up very soon. 
> 
> I simply licked the stuff off the plate, making me look like a total weirdo. But I did not care.

####  3:3:4:3  Gibby Gets His Job

Then Gibby reported how he had signed up for the team:

> The school has got a hall for the purpose of signing up for the many teams and electives. 
> 
> I felt all lost among the kids here. First, I signed up for the spelling bee team, I had been in Ridgeway’s since the first grade, and so it was natural that I registered for the Pacific Coast Academy’s as well. 
> 
> Then I walked over to the lists for the athletic teams. I was not really feeling comfortable, but it had to be. 
> 
> Bully Keith Finch, about whom Dustin has told me a lot, laughed about me, claiming that the weirdo club was over there. 
> 
> But I did not get distracted, closed my eyes, and signed the football list.

So, how did Gibby fare at the trials? 

He reported:

> I was impressed when I entered the football field. 
> 
> I felt completely lost among a bunch of rough-hewn jocks, such as one Vincent Blake, apparently the boss of the team. Nevertheless, I stripped my chest, full of self confidence. “Gibbay!” 
> 
> Coach Keller, the responsible adviser, growled: “OK,let’s see what you can do. Hey!” He thundered at me. “Go to Kazu and fetch me some sushi!” 
> 
> I had to correct his absurd pronunciation of the word **`sushi`** , but he was not grateful for that. 
> 
> The jocks all laughed about me. 
> 
> I panted heavily. “But the word is really pronounced like that.” 
> 
> Keller did not want me to correct him, and he yelled me away. 
> 
> Once I had fetched some gunyoki for the coach, I was ready to demonstrate my abilities. 
> 
> The jocks laughed again, this time even a lot louder. 
> 
> Vince Blake, the confirmed quarterback, threw a ball at me, commanding me to catch it. 
> 
> I tried to, but I got myself knocked to the ground by the impact of the leathern egg. 
> 
> Needless to say, the guys’ laughter turned even louder. 
> 
> Coach Keller declared that I was now their new equipment manager. And he corrupted my name into _Gibblish_ , inspite of my correction. 
> 
> I cheered about the fact of being the equipment manager, although I did not even know what it was. Of course, now I know it — it means lots of sweat for no fame. 
> 
> Vince just shook his head and ran away, along with the other jocks.

So — why do I take care of reproducing Orenthal Cornelius Gibson’s report in detail? 

Well, it gave me valuable insights into the internal structures of the football team, and it reveiled what I had never dared to believe: 

Those rough and tough guys were nothing but a bunch of utterly perverted jocks, treating even their most valuable helpers like the last dirt. 

In addition, cheerios ... including even fairly nice ones like Melanie Puckett ... did everything in order to maintain the status quo of the football team. 

Given these information, I had immediately lost all respect for the members of the football team, and I was aware of the fact that Logan Reese had never been an exception, but the typical football jock here at Pacific Coast Academy. 

I was somewhat horrified when hearing that even Michael Barret was in that team, although only as a substitute. He had probably been talked into it by Logan, but, nevertheless, he was only a little bit better. 

###  3:3:5  Moon Bar Disaster

While Nolan had only started his research, we had already received massive complaints from the northeastern state about the moon bars. 

While absolutely healthy, they tasted like , well, nothing, if you were lucky, or like dung otherwise. 

They had only been recommended by one person, a certain **Zachariah Carter Schwartz** ,3:37 a rigorous environmentalist. 

But complaints about those bars flooded the web sites. 

Recently, a certain **Martin Fukanaga** from Empire City3:38 in Manhattan had puked for three days straight after enjoying such a bar. 

Even more devastating was the judgment of one **Ryan Laserbeam** , although, according to a statement made by his best friends **True Jackson** and **Lulu Peckingpaw**3:39 he was usually able to swallow and digest just everything. 

This told us that ordering moon bars was an extremely bad idea. 

Quinn had got the idea of spicing up the bars with one of her quinnventions, but I did not really want to know about them. She had already screwed us to hell and back with her bacteria. 

So it was obvious that we had to hope for Nolan Byrd to find something as soon as possible. 

###  3:3:6  In Flagrante Delicto

The other night, Chase Matthews returned to our lounge with some shocking news:

> I have fetched my notebook from the history class room. where I had forgotten it last time. And what did I see there? 
> 
> Vince Blake, the quarterback of the football team, was copying the answers for the next written test that our teacher, **Mr. Topleen** ,3:40 had carelessly forgotten in a drawer, using the digital camera built into his mobile phone.

He was unsure whether to report him or not. 

The consequences would have been catastrophic for our school: 

Vince Blake would have to be suspended and excluded from the football team, weakening it severely and ruining its chances for the Californian state championships. 

Bradford would explode into smithereens for anger. 

In any case, denouncing Vince would by no means have increased Chase’s popularity. 

Logan was rebuking Chase severely for even thinking about it. 

Chase did not understand why football stars were privileged in this sense, and he was obviously right. 

Without my informations learned from Orenthal Cornelius Gibson, I would have tried to moderate Chase, but now I supported his objections fully. 

It was clear why jocks like Vince had been cheating. 

The school required certain academic standards even from the athletes, and withoput fulfuilling them, there were no privileges such as skipping regular classes for training sessions. 

This was a great dilemma for the star atheletes at a school like ours. 

But the rules were clear, and they were valid for everyone. 

###  3:3:7  The Compromise

Megan Parker had been able to persuade her friend Ashley Blake into talking her brother into a decent compromise. 

Vince admitted voluntarily to his mistakes, and he was supposed to take more tutoring sessions and reduce his training sessions, and then he would go through some extra examination at the end of the academic year in order to justify his further privileges. 

Therefore he would miss out on this year’s final matches, but be available for the next season. 

Vince’s place in the football team during the remaining games against teams like that from James K. Polk would be taken by no other than the first girl ever in our school’s football team, videlicet Dana Cruz. 

##  3:4  Silver Hammers

###  3:4:1  Elitarian Club

One day, Logan Reese was totally excited, wearing his best outfit, which made all of us wonder about what was going on. 

Logan told us about the impending recruiting of new members by the elders of the **Society Of The Silver Hammer**. 

Those were an elitarian club of students at high schools and colleges in Southern California, comparable to the Lions or Rotarians of the adult world. 

Uncle Glazer had been among the hammers during the eighties. 

Being a member of the hammers was a strong promise for a great career in business, politics, entertainment, science — you name it. Needless to say, most students were eager on getting accepted into such a society. 

Lola was of course particularly interested upon hearing about the fact that many Hollywood stars had been former hammers, although she had deemed Logan crazy for dressing like a monkey for some secret club. 

Nicole Bristow was looking forward to the society of the silver hammers, imagining that it was chock full with cute boys. 

Alas, Logan made our hopes shrink by claiming that the society of the silver hammers was only knocking boys. 

Dana grunted, “I will knock you somnewhere else if you don’t shut up on site, Reese!” 

Logan purred, “Aw, that would be cool!” 

Well, there had been no girls at this school until a few years ago, and I hoped that it had just been a matter of quantity and quality of the girls here at this school, both of them having increased significantly during this year — look at the cheerio team! 

Finally, as I had checked easily on the intyerweb, there had been girls celectyed into the society at other schools, including girls-only school Northridge. 

Alas, Logan went too far when he started trying to bribe the elders into being admitted into the club. 

The elders declared that they did not take bribes, and that they would have to exclude Logan from further considerations for membership in the illustrious society of the silver hammer. 

###  3:4:2  Sarah Kyla

New students joining our classes during a running academic year was rare, but it happened once upon a time. 

And one day, a certain **Sarah Kyla**3:41 appeared on our campus, claiming that her dad had got a job in California as a pasta designer, and that she was therefore joining our school. 

I did not really believe that story, as I had become suspicious of foul motivations. 

Mr. Conroy told Quinn to help Sarah getting started. 

Sarah seemed to remember Quinn from somewhere, but she had apparently forgotten about it. 

Quinn denied rigorously that she had ever seen that girl before, and she did so over and over again in the weirdest manner. 

For me, it was this obvious that Quinn had to hide something, although it was by no means obvious what she was trying to disguise. 

###  3:4:3  Knocking On Heaven’s Door

####  3:4:3:1  This Old Hammer

The elitarian club of the Silver Hammers were named like this because the henchmen of the elders used a hammer looking like made of pure silver in order to hit designated new members, similar in the way the kings used to assign new knights using the flat sword. 

And today, those envoys were out on the campus in order to invite potential new members. 

I was sitting at a table with Lola, Michael, Chase, Nicole, and Logan, when a man with a helmet and a hammer walked up to us and hit me slightly over the head with his crafted instrument. He asked me to confirm my identity as Zoey Brooks, and thereupon, he handed me a hand sized box, containing sort of a silver sticlker with the crest of the society of the silver hammer ... the picture of a hammer, of course! 

I cheered, believing that I was now a huge step closer to the Ivy league, making mom and dad mightily proud of me. 

Little later, Lola Martinez was knocked as well, making her believe in a sudden increase of her chances of making it into the top league of Hollywood, especially her great goal of getting awarded the Oscar at the age of nineteen. 

Even Dana got knocked, although she span around, grabbed the hammer off the herald, and knocked him bad where it hurt most before grabbing the silver needle. “Are there also real men in the club, or only whimps? Woe to you if it is the latter!” Of course she knew that former martial champions such as **Jackson Colt**3:42 had been among the Hammers as well, and that’s why she wanted to make it there. 

Nicole got also knocked into the club, but she was still wondering about the guiy hiding under the helmet. “He is probably too cute to run around unmasked. But I will check him closer upon our first club meeting!” 

Michael Barret would soon be knocked as well. 

####  3:4:3:2  Rejects

But not everyone was lucky to make it up to there. 

Chase Matthews, on the other hand, was deliberately declining the membership, and he threw the sticker into the shrubs. “I don’t like elitarian clubs, they just talk so much rubbish!” 

Michael Barret agreed hypocritically with his one and only best pal. But later, he would accept being knocked as well. 

Logan, who was excluded because of his attempt of bribing the elders, thought of Chase’s deed as an excruciating blasphemy. He was not over being rejected, and he was up to either break his way into the society through the back door, or to make his own even more exclusive club ... if needed. Indeed, as I would come to learn later on, he grabbed the badge that Chase had thrown away, and he was up to feigning to be Chase in order to make it to his goal. 

Stacey Dillsen had hoped to make it into the club of the Hammers as well, and she had built a huge cotton swab model of a silver hammer in order to impress the elders and to show them how serious she was. 

Unfortunately, the elders were disgusted by Stacey’s lisp, and they knocked her, but so hard that the poor girl from Massachusetts collapsed and keeled over. They did not grant her the silver badge, either. 

Unlike her sister Lola, Trina de la Vega y Martinez was not selected, either. She tried to impress the agents of the elders with a belly dance, and she mentioned how much hotter she was than her sister, but for no avail. She had just scared the envoys away. 

Quinn Pensky would have liked to make it to the club as well, but she was too much worried by Sarah Kyla to even show up on the campus when it was roamed by the agents of the Hammers. She was also hell bent on keeping Mark Del Figgalo off Sarah, as if she had been jealous again. 

###  3:4:4  Postulancy

So, this was the meeting room of the illustrious society of the silver hammer. 

We postulants had been guided into this hall all blindfolded. 

Somehow, I did not like this secrecy, not a little bit. 

The voice of the elders were heard. 

There also seemed to be some sort of percussion instruments, such as a triangle. 

The elders made us sit and kneel in a row, and then they removed our blindfolds, one by nome, while calling us by our respective name. 

Chase Matthews was on the list at well. 

But this was impossibly Chase, it was Logan Reese with a bushy wig and one of Chase’s old shirts. 

The elders kicked him out of their lounge, even forgetting to blindfold him again. 

Logan swore to be back, and to kick butts. “I f I don’t get accepted, it will be your loss. I am going to found my own even more illustrious club, the Loganites. 

Then the elders explained that we were to be submitted to tests during the next week. 

Each of us was assigned a service we were expected to offer to the elders of the club during the next seven days. 

Depending on how well we had performed in our assigned job, we would be judged and either accepted fully into their ranks or rejected for at least yet another year. 

Those tasks were written on sheets inside envelopes that were now laid down in front of each of us. 

We were now, one by one, told to open the letter and read our task aloud to the union. 

I did as commanded, and I glared aghast. “Feeder?” So I was supposed to feed the elders for a whole week. I was already disgusted, but I had to go through it, as the way to the Ivy League would be eased significantly by being a member of an illustrious society. 

The jobs of my pals were not any more edifying. 

Michael Barret was in charge with the toothcare of the elders for the duration of the same week. He coughed and moaned for disgust, but he better did not say anything, for, otherwise, he would have been booted on site. 

Lola was also consternated. “Shaver?” So, she was supposed to shave the elders during the next week, and not only in their face, but all other spots where boys’ had hairs growing. She hoped that the elders were at least good kissers, so there was at least a chance left for Lola to enjoy her task. 

Dana Cruz was assigned the job of massaging the elders. She was the least scared by her task. “I will test what your old bones may bear. Woe to you if they are as fragile as Stacey’s cotton swab sculptures!” 

Last but not least, Nicole Bristow was assigned her task. “Dresser!” She would have to carry around the clothes of the elders and help them into and out of these. “Some of the elders are very cute”, she whispered into my ears. But she was also forced to dress the less cute ones, and she would not exactly enjoy it.” 

So, these was our first reunion, still as postulants. We would be a huge step further after the upcoming week. 

###  3:4:5  The Nevelation

So, I was done with my first day of feeding service for the elders. Now I knew how Orenthal Gibson must have felt all the time as an equipment manager for the football team. 

They were very picky concerning the napkins and so on. They always talked about their plans for the impending spring break. 

One of them seemed to have the choice between the warm beach of Acapulco and the winter wonderland of Aspen, videlicet: between surfing and skiing. 

Another elder was up to going to Europe with his step mother, and he was recommended to go to Florence. 

Walking the school park at dusk made me a bit sad. 

I had to think about Europe as well. I had often dreamt of the big centres of the fashion business, including especially Milan, the location of the most traditional of all fashion fairs. 

In this moment, the voice of someone stabbed my brain from behind, a voice that could impossibly have reached me in any worse moment. 

Nevel Papperman stood in my way. “Hi, Zoey!” 

I growled: “Nevel? What are you doing here?” 

Nevel replied: “Dustin told me that the elders of the silver hammers are just dirty pigs who only abuse you and the other postulants.” 

I nodded while looking all aghast. “Indeed, they do, and very much so.” I sighed deeply. 

Nevel moaned, “but why are you going through all this disgusting mess? Why don’t you simply give up on that crap?” 

I glared at him, explaining that being a silver hammer would increase my chances to make it to the Ivy League significantly. 

Nevel nodded. “I know that you want to make it there, and I admire that you try so hard.” He panted heavily. “But you can do better. The Ivy league is not your dream, it is that of your mom and dad, ain’t it?” 

I coughed. “How do you know?” 

Nevel explained, “Dustin talks a lot about you, and I just have to connect the dots.” 

OK, that even made a lot of sense to me. “But why do you always say that I can do better?” 

Nevel explained: “You once clashed with my cousin, because of your fashionable backpack design, which she plagiarised.” 

I nodded with dismay. “Do you have to repeat the story?” 

Nevel grinned. “Dustin also told me about the shirts you made for Drake Parker.” He suspired. “I don’t like Drake, but your shirts with the Drake logo —” He purred. 

I sighed. “OK, I am sort of a gifted fashion designer, so what?” 

“You should go for this and become the creator of your own fashion line.” He grinned. “And once I get my own haberdashery, we will marry and run our business together.” 

I glared at him. “Nevel!” I sighed deeply, because he had apparently gone through quite some efforts in order to come up with these plans. “Nevel, that sounds all like a plot, but there is one thing: I do not love you the way that you seem to expect, and probably never will do so. Sorry!” 

Nevel glared at me aghast, and he was close to weeping a new deluge. 

I could not bear seeing him suffer like this. “You are a great pianist and conductor ... or so says Dustin.” 

Nevel nodded. “True, but what ...” 

I sighed. “Megan Parker is of your age, and she plays the oboe, quite well so.” I insinuated: “You could play with her in a little orchestra, and she would certainly be a good wife for you, one day.” 

Nevel glared at me. “Really? You think she would not simply ignore me, like all boys?” 

I shook my head. “Megan does not ignore boys, only certain lame excuses of boys, such as Drake and Josh.” 

Nevel appeared to lighten up. 

I continued: “Said that, I would really prefer to become a fashion artist, if this did not break dad’s and mom’s heart, and I could visit all those places like Milan and Paris.” 

Nevel looked at me. “What about the scholarship from Monique Chaumont? I have heard of **Sophie Girard** ,3:43 an American fashion creator who is making career in Paris, with her own label, and she is sure interested in giving some extremely gifted future designer an internship.” 

I gasped. “The scholarship for the International Academy Of Paris?” I had been offered such a thing by said visitor from France. But I had always thought about my friends, which I would have had to let down and leave behind, especially Dustin, whom I still deemed defenseless without my support. 

Monique had been totally keen on me, and she was still maintaining the offer ... or so I guessed. 

And Sohie Girard was definitely not unknown to me. 

Now I had got something to think about. I hugged Nevel gratefully, but then I had to leave for my dormitory room in order to work on a very important decision that would not be easy for me. 

###  3:4:6  The Loganites

Not able to become a member of the Hammers, Logan was hell bent on competing with and on beating them left and right by founding his own illustrious society, the Loganites, and, just like in the case of the Hammers, there was a test for acceptance into the club. 

Today, there had been the first meeting of all those postulating for a membership, in 148 Maxwell Hall. 

The test for the canditates consisted in crossing the campus, only dressed in underpanties. 

Orenthal Cornelius Gibson told me about the session:

> I ripped of my top at the speed of light. “Gibbay!” 
> 
> But there was one problem: 
> 
> Samantha Puckett has given me a wedgie earlier today, and my underpants have been torn into half by this action. 
> 
> So I had to ask Logan to either keep my boxers, or to go all naked. 
> 
> He protested: “If you want to wear your boxers, everyone will want to!” But then he granted me a loin cloth that he made briefly from Michael’s head pillow. 
> 
> Chase has also been in the room, but he is not interested in joining the Loganites. He just lives there. 
> 
> Likewise, Mark del Figgalo has only been there today in order to visit Chase. 
> 
> But two girls have also tried to join the club: Rebecca and Stacey. 
> 
> When Stacey stepped up to him and ripped off her top, he had to start puking, and he lost his consciousness, plummeting into his own vomit and almost drowning in it. 
> 
> We have taken him into the nurse’s station, where he is now treated with painful injections, a needle of ten inches.

Ok, that was enough, and I did not pity Logan, for he had it deserved as thoroughly as only possible. 

And the jerk of Beverly Hills would soon give up on his plans of an illustrious club of his own. 

###  3:4:7  Quinn Unmarked

####  3:4:7:1  Bodyguard

Even before coming to a decision with respect to the offer from France, I decided to drop put of the whole silver hammer mess. Thus there was some time left for me, and I decided to use it in order to fix Quinn’s stupid situation. First, I forced Sarah Kyla to fess up. 

Fortunately, Dustin had warned me in time about one important quality of Sarah Kyla: “She knows kungfu fighting, and getting her upset may kill you.” Had he just watched too many martial movies? 

I was not able to ignore him, though. “Did Sarah hurt you?” I inspected him all over the face and his back, looking for wounds and scars. 

Dustin growled: “no — Ashley Blake knows her well.” 

I wondered: “How so?” 

My brother moaned and stammered: “Sarah Kyla is Ashely’s new bodyguard.” He urged me not to tell anyone that he had told me about it. 

Until recently, Vince had served his little sister in that manner, but now he was too busy learning for the impending examinations, forcing the family to hire a new guard. 

I sighed deeply, for this was of course a problem. 

Maybe Quinn had insulted a former customer of Sarah, and now she was expected to pay for it? 

####  3:4:7:2  Pageant Girl Quinn

Not much later, I had to talk a serious word to Quinn. 

She feigned not to know what I was talking about. 

I insisted in squeezing an explanation out of the geek girl. “What does Sarah know about you?” 

Quinn broke down. “I was a pageant girl, back at kindergarten age. Only in second grade I discovered my love for science and my unbreakable will to rule humankind with my intellectual superiority.” She moaned. “Don’t tell anyone, or my career will be ruined.” She explained that Sarah had been one of her competitors, and thus she was aware about her dark and embarrassing past. 

I shrugged. “No university will hold it against you.” 

She looked aghast. “Really? Well, maybe not, but there is still Mark — what shall he think about me?” 

I shrugged. “You will have to tell him before Sarah Kyla does, this way she does not hold any power over you.” 

Quinn glared at me. “Really?” 

I nodded.“Haven’t you learned from the confusion with Maria Misa? ” I panted thrice. “You and Mark should not have secrets in your relationships. Otherwise you will keep on hurting each other.” 

Quinn sobbed. “Maybe you are right. I go and tell him!” 

####  3:4:7:3  The Breakup

I walked with Quinn into Mark’s dormitory room. 

Quinn told him about her past as a pageant girl. “I used to be a majorette, twirling clubs, swinging hoops — you know, on pageants and parades.” 

Mark moaned: “Oh yeah?” 

Quinn sighed. “Will you now trash me? You have certainly lost all of your respect for me.” 

Mark growled: “Oh, I have? Wow!” 

Quinn shrugged. “OK, farewell!” 

Mark groaned: “Hey, Quinn! Have you still got your majorette outfit?” 

Quinn sighed. “Yeah, I was just about to burn it in order to get rid of my past.” 

I shook my head. “Aw Quinn ...” 

Suddenly, Mark told her to perform a majorette’s number for him. 

She sighed deeply. “OK ...” She grunted for evident reluctance. 

We had to go to our room in order to redress Quinn. 

I told her: “You are apparently not happy about performing again?” 

Quinn nodded. “But what should I do?” 

From Takato and Nevel, I had learned to value my own dignity more than money and relationships. I dared to inform Quinn about this. “If Mark really loves you, you can tell him that you don’t like giving such an embarrassing performance.” 

Quinn span around on her heals and told Mark her feelings about the whole thing. 

Mark grunted. He seemed to have no understanding for Quinn’s reluctance. “OK, I will watch other girls perform those cool numbers for me, like Trina, Melanie, Makeout Mandy ...” 

Quinn burst for jealousy. “Mark del Figgalo ... if you do dare to look at other girls, it is over!” 

OK, their relationship did not make any sense any more, anyways. 

Quinn was finally free to follow her own way, without the chains of an outworn relationship. 

##  3:5  Charles Galloway

###  3:5:1  Mean Teacher

The teachers of Pacific Coast Academy were said to be among the best of the whole country.3:44

I have already talked about some of them, and I had got my doubts in many a case. 

But there were certainly highlights, such as Mr. Bender. 

Definitely not among the best teachers ... ever! ... was definitely a certain **Mr. Hotchins** ,3:45 who was already close to eighty years old, and thus should have retires ages ago. He was mean to us students, and he scared and intinidated whole grades into oblivion. 

Probably only due to his relations with our landlord was it possible for him to stay in office, year after year, notwithstanding all objections. 

I had hitherto been able to avoid his classes, but this year, my dad forced me to enroll for his lessons in National Economy because he wanted me to go to law or business school after undergraduate college. 

Two yeara in front fit nicely into their plans, as having been student at a renowned foreign prep school was always considered as a great thing to have in your curriculum vitæ for your college or job applications. 

Of course, my recent insights gained after the encounter with Nevel Papperman had helped me to mtake the whole crap caused by Hotchins a lot easier. 

Michael Barret, Chase Matthews, Logan Reese, and Stacey Dillsen were also forced to attend those classes, which consisted of wholesale terror. 

Lucky Quinn and Lola had been able to avoid the whole crap. 

###  3:5:2  Apples And Kisses

Based on the _Book Of Genesis_ , Lola Martinez had developed something sounding like a scientific theory concerning a connection between a boys’ kissing abilities and his manners of eating an apple. 

Thus Eve’s command that Adam should eat an apple served for the purpose of determining whether this first man was a good kisser or not. 

Of course it was just Lola’s gut feeling, and it required solid empirical and theoretical studies. 

This, in turn, was the perfect job for someone as nerdy as Quinn Pensky. 

Along came Drake Parker and Josh Nichols in order to bring something for Megan. 

Quinn tols Lola to start testing her theory. She showed her a bowl with apples. 

Lola smiled. “Hey, Drake, I have got a fesh apple for you. You look a bit hungry after your long trip.” 

Drake smiled. “Oh, yeah, thanks, I could actually use one!” He grabbed the apple and took a huge bite. 

Lola purred ecstatically when watching Drake do the bite. She whispered into Quinn’s ears: “Only a really great kisser is able to eat an apple in this way!” 

Drake bent down and pressed his lips against Lola’s, making her purr even more. 

Quinn added a notch to her statistics. “OK, but now you also need to test other boys.” She looked around. “Josh, would you please eat this apple?” 

Josh smiled. “OK, why not?” 

Lola shuddered for extreme disgust when watching Josh chew at the forbidden fruit. 

Quinn nodded. “OK, Lola, now you have to check his lips ...” 

Lola coughed. “Do I have to? I have already shown that boys that eat apples like Drake a re good kissers.” 

Quinn nodded. “You also need to countercheck your hypothesis.” 

Lola coughed. “Can’t Stacey do that for me? I have to go to the auditioning for ...” 

Quinn shook her head. “That would change the premises.” She panted. “Come on, you have kissed worse boys, such as Chase Matthes. You are an actress, you have to be able to do whatever the script tells you. And I, as your director, tell you to ...” 

Lola sighed deeply. She closed her eyes, grabebd Josh’s horribly huge head, and pulled it closer, just in order to get the job done. She was close to puking. “Chase was worse, but I tell you, this one also belongs to the lowest category.” 

Quinn added a notch. “OK, thanks guys!” 

Drake and Josh wondered what Quinn and Lola had been talking about. 

Lola was still busy wiping Josh’s filth off her lips. 

Quinn grinned and told Drake and Josh about Lola’s theory, and its connection to the paradise scene. 

Josh shrugged. “Hey, I have got an idea for a picture. Thanks for the inspiration!” 

I asked: “What kind of picture?” 

Josh replied: “You will see it when it is done!” 

Quinn looked a bit annoyed, as she was reminded to the days when Maria Misa was painting a portrait of Mark, thought as a birthday gift. But now she had broken up with that guy, and she was less affected by painful memories. 

Drake explained: “Josh has not been accepted by any college he applied for, because he had failed in some student teaching program during the last academic year. Now he wants to return to his old hobby: Arts3:46 ... like his idol Spencer Shay.” 

Josh poked his step brother. “Hey!” 

###  3:5:3  The Legend Of The Lost Student

As Hotchins had been in his office for five decades already, many stories abounded about him. 

The most shocking was one of his first year at Pacific Coast Academy, about fifty years ago, when he had scared one of our students, a certain **Charles Galloway** ,3:47 off the campus, making him flee into the nearby canyon going by the name of Redstone Gulch where he died horribly. 

According to the legend, no other person had ever seen him again. 

This was of course absolutely weird, as it was impossible to reconcile with the fact that his death location was well-known by everyone. 

And now Logan and Michael wanted to search the tomb of Charles in order to verify the legend. 

Of course, being the eternal capitalist jerk that he was, had always been, and would always be, Logan was up to making a movie about the legend. “We need to make a trio to Redstone Gulch and check it out. In order to provide the journalists with a proof, we need to fetch some of his personal belongings from there.” 

Josh protested: “The boss of my dad is also named Galloway,3:48 and if they are related, he would protest and get dad fired for that.” 

Logan shrugged. “Hey, Nichols, you are a scout, right?”3:49

Josh nodded solemnly. “The best of all!” 

Michael explained: “We need a responsible guide into the wastelands, and ...” 

Logan continued: “And your dad’s boss may identify the personal belongings of Charles!” 

I had got enough of all the troubles: A teacher that did not exist, a lost student — There was no way that I would follow the rest of the gang to the tomb. 

Lola wanted to participate because she had heard that Logan was going to make a movie of Chareles galloway’s legend, and she wanted to be the female star i n ths film, going for her first Oscar. 

Drake was following Lola, and he wanted to sing the theme song for the movie. 

Michael was alos hell bent, in order to prove unto all the girls that he was not a coward, unlike Chase. 

Quinn wanted to use the field trip in order to deploy some of her latest invents: A “quinnocular”, which consisted of five bundled telescopes able to look through things, and a universal detector able to locate both metal and lizard pee in the soil. 

Dana was up to proving that she was even more of a dauntless jerk than Logan. 

Nicole was erroneously of the opinion that Charles Galloway was a cute boy, just because she had seem his picture in a yearbook from the fifties. 

###  3:5:4  In The Desert

3:50

####  3:5:4:1  Departure

Lola, Quinn, and Michael tried to persuade me to join them on their trip to Redstone Gulch, until the last minute, but in vain. 

Josh was carefully controlling the equipment of the participants. “Water, desert rations, compass, topographical map, ...” 

Stacey showed up. “Josh, I have built a sextant for you and your expedition, of cotton swabs and white glue.” 

Josh thanked his new girlfriend. “You work very precisely.” 

Nicole choked. “Isn’t that a bad word?” 

Quinn explained that a **sextant** is really a tool for navigation, and not an erotic device. 

Finally, Logan’s trip had disappeared beyong the dunes. 

####  3:5:4:2  Horror

Dustin reached me, already out of breath. “Zoey! You must stop them! Where are they?” 

I supposed correctly that my brother had been talking about the expedition to Redstone Gulch, and I had to disappoint him by telling him that he was too late. “They are already gone.” 

Unfortunately, it was not possible to reach them by mobile phone out in the wastelands. 

Dustin stomped his feet. “Dern! They just brought the whole campus in danger, you now that?” 

I sighed. “How so?” 

Dustin explained: “According to Nevel, disturbing the last rest of a dead that buried without last blessings is cursed — and doomed.” He stammered: “The ghost of Charles R. Galloway is going to destroy all of us!” 

I growled: “How does Nevel dare to tell you something like that? Where is he?” 

Dustin whistled innocently. “Busy with Megan.” 

I shrugged. “OK, at least he won’t disturb me any longer.” ]

Dustin boasted: “Now I am in charge with the _Operation Anti-Hotchins_.” 

I wondered: “What an operation?” 

It was obvious that Megan Parker had come up with a scheme in order to get Hotchins fired, just as she had already achieved with Mrs. Bromwell. 

But this time around, it was much harder, for Hotchins had been Bradford’s favourite for quite a few decades already. 

####  3:5:4:3  Green Tornado

A few hours had gone by since the departur of Logan and the whole track. 

Suddenly, the sky went dark. 

Many of us students started watching curiously, but filled with unease and even dismay. 

A cyclon appeared on the horizon, but it was unnaturally green. 

At first glance, I thought that Logan had already sent a team there for special effects, but this looked impossible, as Logan was desperately looking for a proof for the legend, and without it he would hardly convince his dad to put gazillions of bucks into special effects. 

In this moment, Nevel Papperman appeared on the campus. “Hello, Miss Brooks!” 

I was no longer convinced that Nevel had just talked fear, uncertainty, and doubt into my brother. 

After Takato, the green tornado was the second weird appearance that struck me, splitting my mind right down the middle. 

Megan followed Nevel, and she looked consternated. “Those boobs —” 

Nevel confirmed his lovergirl. “This is the wild hunt! We are probably lost by now.” 

I looked consternated, feeling the blood leave my face. 

Megan muttered: “They must have upset the ghost of Charles galloway, and now the restless phantom is up for revenge, so unless we may appease him, there is no hope left.” 

Dustin stammered: “Logan said — he needed a proof for the legend — something from Galloway’s belongings — does robbing the tomb upset ghosts?” 

Nevel nodded. “It certainly does, especially a weild tomb.” 

I guessed: “And returning the belongings to the tomb would fix it, right?” 

Megan shook her head vigorously. 

Nevel replied: “Only for the time being. But as long as the real cause is not extinguished, the ghost will strike back every now and then, when everyone here is off guard — and believing that you are safe makes everything worse” 

I was already feeling totally sick at that thought. 

Megan remarked: “Nevel and I may perform a requiem for Charles Galloway. This will distract him for now.” 

Nevel wished that people like Nils Jacobsen were around in order to help with the requiem. 

Megan nodded. “But, anyways, the true reason for Galloway’s dismay is Logan’s greed, imperialism, and capitalism.” 

I gasped. “These are indeed hard to overcome.” 

Nevel sighed sadly. He picked hos recorder in order rto start the reuiem with Nevel. 

Dustin had succesfully called for Nils Jacobsen’s support. 

The song was about the impending days of the latter judgment when all sins will have to be paid for. 

It was all totally scary. 

According to Megan, only Logan Reese was now going to be punished for his reckless abominations, not the whole school. 

Finally, the kids were about to return safely to our campus. 

Logan had actually hidden a locket of Galloway in the pockets of careless Nicole, who still thought the pendant was cool. 

The boss of Walter Nichols, a nephiew of the deceased student, would later on identify the locket as a family tradition. 

There was resting yet another curse on it, as easily sensed by Megan Parker. 

According to Nevel, only the power of the seal of salomon would have been able to break the curse. 

###  3:5:5  Hotchins Rues The Day

The next day, the classes for national economy were cancelled. 

This was very good, for this way, the exams for these classes were postponed indefinitely as well, maybe until the next year and thus of no relevance for me at all. 

The reason for the whole mess was the fact that Hotchins had fled over night from Los Angeles all the way to Mexico in order to escape fropm something. 

Dustin reported: 

> Last night, I snuck into the street where Hotchins was living, and next to the house of the creep, I started to sing: 
> 
> One, two, Charles is out for you. Three, four, better lock your door. 
> 
> And so on, and so on. 
> 
> I was inspired by Piper Peckinpaw, a totally cool girl. 
> 
> Also, I had got some company: 
> 
> **Jade West**3:51 from nearby Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts was coming with me. She is a goth girl, with a cool tattoo of something Nevel calls _Seal Of Solomon_ , and she is able to communicate with the dead and to talk in their name. 
> 
> Finally, Hotchins believed that I was the phantasm of Galloway, and that I had come in order to avenge Galloway’s untimely end. He started to flee in terror.

I cheered for my littlwe brother, who had learned a lot from Megan and her school of pranks during the last bunch of months. 

Well, the teacher would have to be replaced, and I was already totally curious, hoping for not yet another old wanker like Hotchins. 

Nicole screamed: “The new teacher will be cute — so cute!” 

###  3:5:6  The New Teacher

Two days later, classes in national economy were to be continued. 

We were already excited for the new teacher. 

Unfortunately, Nicole was displeased by the fact that it was not really a young and cute teacher, it was: 

Mr. Takato! 

I was thoroughly confused, because I had believed during all those months that he did not exist. I feared that only I knew him. 

But before he even wrote his name onto the blackboard, as new teachers use to do at the beginning of the first class session, he was greeted eagerly by most of us people. “Mr. Takato!” 

Logan said it in an annoyed manner. “not again — Takato,” whereupon he yawned heartily. 

So, everyone was already familiar with him, although nobody knew him whenever I had mentioned him? 

Ok, this was definitely beyond what I was able to bear. I was happy to be about to leave this place after the end of the year and to move on to Paris. 

Takato was not only old enough to have been around when Charles Galloway was among the living pupils of Pacific Coast Academy, he had even known him in person, and he was now talking about his version of the case Charles Galloway.

> Charles R. Galloway was a radical quaker and a member of the student council. 
> 
> It was the time of the cold war, between the Corean and Vietnam. 
> 
> Galloway was an opponent of the imperialist politics of Senator Josheph McCarthy, even after the official demise of that demagogue. 
> 
> Alas, the founder of Pacific Coast Academy had been a great supporter of the McCarthy doctrine. 
> 
> The same was valid for Hotchins who was hired and employed by the overlord exclusively for that reason, inspite of evidently lacking pedagogical qualifications. 
> 
> Even after the official end of the era of McCarthy, Bradford remained on the same lines. 
> 
> Charles Galloway found even proof for the deliberate involvement of our foundation fathers in the war of Corea, from which the school’s administration had profited big times. 
> 
> Little wonder, the board of that time wanted to get rid of him at any cost. They had probably murdered him an d hired two students to drag the corpse into the wastelands and spread the official story that Galloway had fled there and died.

For decades, Takato had been compelled to be silent about the story, as there was no proof for the illegal activities of Old Bradford. 

It would still take some efforts to bust all the false stories about his death and to get the real culprits to show up. 

Spencer Shay was still working on the resurrection of the monument. 

Nevel and Megan had been discussing the potential of a curse resting on the old monument since the start of the academic year. 

I hoped that there was not really such a thing, or else the troubles would go on. 

In any case: The following academic year would see new journalisticallly gifted students, who, unlike Jeremiah Trottman, were not just populist paparazzi, but really hard researchers and spokesmen of vital informations: Kelly Peckinpaw and Nolan Byrd. So if there was a way to right ancient wrongs, the two of them would find and walk it. 

##  3:6  Say Good-Bye To Them All

###  3:6:1  Raspberry Doodle Cakes

Winter was about to turn into spring, opening my last weeks here at Pacific Coast Academy. 

Lola Martinez was addicted to raspberry doodle cakes, a new snack invented and marketed by Schneider’s Bakery, one of our aforementioned main sponsors. 

Unfortunately, our vendor machines were by absolutely no means reliable. 

A few months before, Dean Rivers had insisted in upkeeping the contracts with the candy providers, claiming: “The contracts are very profitable for us.” 

We had neither been able to infer which group of people the headmaster was alluding to with the word _us_ , nor how exactly they profited. 

Claire Sawyer, as an expert for the rules, had figured that the administration was in no way allowed to profit from any legal business on the campus. 

Given the scandalous past of our school’s board, this sounded a bit hypocritical, but the rule was there. 

And indeed, Nolan Byrd had found out something very consternating: 

Those unhealthy snacks, and even some illegal ones such as Canadian fatcakes ... disguised as totally harmless muffins ... and English bibbles, were sold on our campus with Dean Rivers’s approval in order to increase the abilities of our football team. 

By the way, it was necessary for us to keep the identity of Nolan a secret, for otherwise, he would not be admitted to Pacific Coast Academy. 

Nolan’s journalist activities were only known under his pseudonym **Shredderman**. He was also backed by **Shadowwolf** alias **Mr. Monroe**3:52 a teacher for life science and textile creation at James K. Polk middle school, about whom I will have to say a few more words. 

But now we have to return to Lola’s doodle cakes, another means of doping introduced in order to push our football team to its limits. 

Lola had paid regularly one buck, but she got nothing in turn: Neither change nor the cake. Of course she was thoroughly disappointed, and she started punching the evil vendor machine. Unfortunately, she was nowhere near as powerful as her sister Shelby. 

Quinn suggested to kick the evil apparatus instead. But she was not skilled in that discipline, either, as completely opposed to Shelby. 

The lattert was off, either for some championship, or on a date with her new boyfriend, Chuck Javers,3:53 a really brute wrestling machine of the unstoppable sort. 

The two of them had been facing at the recent regionals, wreaking havoc during their finale fight that had thence almost destroyed half of the campus. 

Ok, but where were the strong man of Pacific Coast Academy whenever needed? 

Vince Blake was still busy getting tutored, this time by Wayne Gilbert i n science. 

Dana Cruz, who had indeed won the football championship almost alone, and thereafter also the wrestling trophy, was his Vince’s new girlfriend, and she was in need to tutoring, as well. 

But maybe brute force was not the only way to obtain your right. 

Why had Quinn Pensky not yet invented a stethoscope capable of unlocking the vendor machine? 

Along came **Vice Principal Thatcher** ,3:54 one of the most dangerous members of the school administration. He saw Quinn and Lola mistreating the vendor machine, and he grunted: “Hey, what are you doing here?” 

Our Hollywood starlet explained the situation, making Quinn chime in solemnly. 

Our evil vice principal thundered: “Any complaint about the vendor machine hads to be submitted as a completed form to the administration office, where you also get a form for the request for a form.” The threatened to suspend, expel, or even deport the girls to Siberia, should he ever catch one of them trying to harm one of the vendor machines again. Then Thatcher disappeared again, after explaining that refunds, if approved, would be made after about six months or so, thuis definitely after the summer break. 

Along came my little brother, and he offered to help the girls by sticking his hand through the ejection opening and fetching the doodle cakes from there. He had learned this from his former girlfriend, Samantha Puckett alias Trisha Kirby, who would also have been able to crack the locks with her bare hands, for whatever reason. 

But I stopped him, telling him to commit no nonsense. “The mean vice dean, Thatcher, shows no mercy.” 

Dustin’s eyes started glowing a shade of flaming crimson, and this meant that he was up to some prank, making Thatcher rue the day, until the age of **dystopia** , an idiomatic formula learned from Nevel Papperman. 

###  3:6:2  Leaving Dustin Behind

I was still not aware of the details of Dustin’s plans to get back at Thatcher, I just knew that they would be atrocious. Of course I did not wish mt brother to get caught and punished for this. 

So, after all, my biggest concern was still that of leaving my baby brother behind. OK, I was probably exaggerating to no end by still calling him exactly like that. But I did worry about where we would slip into without me. 

Mom had often told me to stop killing my brain over this issue, but it had never worked. 

My first idea had been that of asking Minique Chaumont to grant Dustin a place at the elitarian Fench boarding school as well. 

Certainly, my brother would have done everything in order to make Monique and the whole school proud of him. 

But there were other reasons that had prevented me from doing something like that: 

First, Dustin loved California, and he was accustomed to the people over here. Having to move abroad would have bothered him a lot and maybe caused him to go all depressed for several years. Even more, when I had first thought about France, upon Chaumont’s suggestion, Dustin had just started dating, and he would never have consented. Granted, his thing with Sandy Baldwin had not lasted for long, but then he had got other girls on his mind about which I will talk later on. 

Second: Dustin had not been my only reason, I had worried about many other pupils here at Pacific Coast Academy as well. 

There were Dana and Nicole, whom I had forced into going through therapy by the hands of Doc Lowe, with more or less dubious success. 

There was Chase, about whose feelings I had been insecure, until he had fone too far and used Lola in the most deprecable manner. 

But I had felt somewhat responsible and not been able to simply fly away and leave that mess behind in his misery. 

Michael had just behaved like an idiot for Vanessa, and this had caused me to worry seriously about him. 

Logan had been an excessively bad influence on everyone around him, and someone needed to stop that. 

Quinn had been stuck in a series of depressions, and someone needed to fix her. 

And on and on and on it went. 

Coco’s breakup with Coach Carl had been the last issue before the turbning point: 

The conversation with Nevel Papperman that had convinced me to think about my own dreams instead of messing with those of others. 

This had fit perfectly into the niche of Takato’s first remark upon our encounter next to the wayside station when I had been first bound for the campus of Pacific Coast Academy: 

Now I have to return to the question: What would Dustin do after my departure? 

My brother seemed to be stronly into Carly Shay, the lirttle sister of Spencer. 

By the way, Carly looked way more reponsible than her adult brother. 

But there was one point that made my mind struggle a lot: 

Carly was the best friend of no other than diabolic femme fatale Samantha Puckett alias Trisha Kirby alias Fawn Leibowitz3:55 — the latter being her artists’ name that she had used in order to compete with Lola for the star character in some movie by Malcolm Reese. 

This was no good, because it was hard for me to imagine how the best friend of an utterly perverse lass would have been able to have anything but a bad influence on my brother. 

In addition, Fredward Benson, the so-called nice boy next door, seemed to keep on hankering like a sick bastard after Carly. 

That was totally painful to watch ... or so I may tell you. 

But Carly had often enough been able to restrain her evil friend. 

And after all, Dustin was now mature enough to get this kind of stuff sorted out on his own. 

In addition, Claire Sawyer promised me to watch over my little brother. 

###  3:6:3  Secret Video

Dustin had actually found something in order to get rid of evil Thatcher, if done correctly: 

With Fredward Benson’s help, he had taken a video of Mr. Thatcher manipulating the vendor machine in a way suitable ... as confirmed little later by Wayne Gilbert and Quinn Pensky ... for making the apparatus malfunction and not return zilch, videlicet neither change nor the goods that got paid for. 

I shook my head. “These are vendor machines, not gabling bandits.” 

Dustin wanted Mindy to change the machine again, making it spit put free candy. 

But Claire Sawyer dissuaded my brother from doing so. “We will soon have enough proof for legal actions against the cheating vice dean.” 

Indeed, little later, Nolan Byrd and Mr. Monroe found out that Dean Rivers and Vice Dean Thatcher were regularly robbing us students with manipulated vendor machines, and many others in California followed a similar strategy. 

Garth Burman would by absolutely no means be pleased, and he would get both of them fired. 

The new pribcipal of our boarding school would be Principal Pal, retired principal of James K. Polk. 

Vice Principal would be Mr. Bender. 

But when these changes were finally made effective, I would no longer be a student at Pacific Coast Academy , and roam France instead. 

###  3:6:4  Pyjama Party

####  3:6:4:1  Preparations For Chase’s Birthday

The academic year, my last one at Pacific Coast Academy, was coming to its conclusion, and Chase’s seventeenth birthday was now close. 

Logan Reese wanted to prepare a surprise party for him, and it implied a beach party. “Girls have to come in bikinis ... except Stacey, who is not supposed to come at all.” The disgusting creep was just as sexist as usual. 

I had to push him off his chair into the net corner, refraining from worse but thoroughly deserved punishment, with fire and sword. 

Then we agreed finally on a pyjama party, for those were too comfortable for being worn only when sleeping. 

I have already mentioned Chase’s favourite grandma, and now I had heard that both of them had been born the same day of the year, albeit many many years inbetween ... of course! 

For that reason, I had though about a special surprise for Chase: 

We would have to fetch his grandmother from the northeastern states. 

Lola wondered: “Will the party be seen life on TV? I have to get a particularly impressive pyjama for that case, because I need to ... Zoey! Youy have to ...” 

Quinn poked Lola. “Hey, Zoey, you remember the pyjama you have designed for me, just a few months ago? I have now added my own illumination.” 

I gasped. “That sounds to me like a new trend.” 

Quinn nodded. “Go for it!” 

Chase was hardly thinking about his party yet, because he was busy with an assignment, requiring him to write several thousand words about something. 

Any attempt of us to make him relaxed failed miserably. 

Thus all my hopes were resting on the secret visit of his grandma. 

####  3:6:4:2  Socko

Unfortunately, a phone call from the east coast ruined my enthusiasm about Chase’s impending birthday party in no time. 

Chase’s grandma had suddenly turned sick, a bad cough or something like that. 

I crossed the campus on site, looking desperately for a substitute gift. 

Logan would be in a stinky mood, as he thought that without an old woman, a beach party would have been more fun. 

Spencer Shay crossed my way. “Hey Zoey ... is it true that you have invented multicoloured socks?” 

I nodded solemnly. “And Quinn is about to add illumination to it. She had invented it already for a pair of pyjamas I had designed earlier.” 

Spencer smiled. “Multi-coloured socks with illumination? Yeah, baby! That will rock. I want to order a dozen of pairs of them.” 

I panted heavily. “OK ... after this mess ...” I told him about Chase’s grandmother. 

Spencer sighed deeply. “But, hey, you remember Freddie ... Fredward for those who don’t like him?” 

I shrugged. “OK, Freddie is the tech producer of Chase’s web show, but ...” 

Spencer nodded. “So you can’t have old Mrs. Matthews in person here at Pacific Coast Academy? Then do the next best: Get the grandma into the web show!” 

Fredward Benson was an expert for web cams, and he knew a rent a webcam service somewhere near Chase’s grandma. 

I looked flabbergasted. 

Spencer gave me a new nick: _Socko_. 

####  3:6:4:3  Sad Songs

The rain kept on whipping the beach of Malibu, hell, even the whole of the southern Californian coastal stripe. 

And all this had happened although weather reporter Walter Nichols, the father of Josh, had predicted nice weather for the whole week. 

The rain storm was the ultimate justification for the choice of a pyjama party, as opposed to a beach party. 

Well, we should better have listened to Megan Parker’s loud warnings, and have stuck instead to the report by Bruce Windchill, the best looking and most reliable weather reporter for the whole Pacific Coast. 

Inspite of having offended me severely by using Lola in order to make me jealous and by stalking me for almost two years, the bushy dork had not deserved such an ugly birthday. 

And the weather was by far not the worst birthday surprise: 

The video conference with Chase’s grandma was working nicely, but then, all of a sudden, the old woman had collapsed in front of the web camera. 

Chase’s uncle, who had assisted with the whole stuff, had been forced to call the emergency medic. 

Unfortunately, uncle Glazer was not available, and it was too late. Chase’s grandmother had just died, and this was of course the worst thing possible to happen on Chase’s birthday party. 

Chase had stormed out on all of us. He had already been abourt to go insane when seeing his grandma collapse, and no one able to help in sight until his uncle had returned with the paramedics. 

Michael told me: “Chase should be at the beach, the fifth rock to the left at the beach promenade.” This used to be Chase’s standard hangout on sad days. OK, but this was not just a sad day, it was sad beyond any description. 

I was unable to face Chase all alone, because of all the ugly things that had happened between us. I ran into Adelaide Singer, aforementioned friend of Megan Parker who had already written the lyrics of some of Drake’s most successful songs ... ever! She was carrying her accoustic guitar across the campus, the violent rain drops notwithstanding. “Addie, you are a poet, too.” 

Adelaide nodded solemnly. She noticed how desperate I looked in that moment. Panting heavily, she strummed her guitar, singing _Sad Songs_ by some British man named Elton John. 

While not bringing his grandma back into Chase’s life, playing the guitar and singing the song, side by side with alike thinking Adelaide Singer removed Chase’s depressions step by step, one by one. 

###  3:6:5  Conclusions

As anticipated, I was enrolled at Monique Chaumont’s International Academy as the new top student. 

In addition, aforementioned Sophie Girard had granted me a paid internship for the time of my studies in Paris, and this even before my departure from California. This seemed to be rather surprising, since I had never done anything in order to make the model icon aware of me. But there had been several reasons for that. 

First, Melinda Crenshaw’s marketing of my backpack design had already reached international dimensions. Indeed, I had not noticed this going on, for I had been concerned with many other things touching my life in 101 Brenner Hall, and so I was a bit surprised when Mindy showed me the sales numbers. In particular, the backpacks had already reached Paris and were nowadays the top of the fashion of French middle school chicks. 

Needless to say, Sophie Girard had noticed these, and she was now totally addicted to the idea and would have paid me some dozens of thousands of bucks, if I had not agreed on working for her in a dedicated manner, anyways. 

The next reason were the outfits, I had designed for Qualitech’s Jet-X. 

While Trinidad Rebecca de la Vega y Martinez had changed sides instead of wearing my creations in a publicity clip for said scooter, she had kept digital photographs showing herself wearing them before the shootings in order to let me perform fine matches. And then she had sent them to some agency for supermodels, once Logan had encouraged her to do so. 

And said agency was working together closely with Sophie Girard when she needed models for presentations in the United States. 

While Sophie had not got any use for Trina at that moment, she was thoroughly impressed by what she had been wearing, and she had reasearched for its origins, reflecting back to me. 

Rebecca Trina would later on become the greatest model for the representation of my womens’ fashion line. She was really worth her bucks! 

The web show of Chase and Michael, especially due to the impact of Spencer Shay, had also contributed to the success of some of my designes, especially the multicoloured socks, with or without illumination. 

Monroe alias Shadowwolf, the best textile creation teacher ... ever! ... also helped me in some way by writing a long letter of recommendation. Although he had never been my teacher, he had been around when I was discussing modern fashion styles with his student Jerry Crony, my favourite guy to talk to during my last weeks in Los Angeles. 

Last but not least, Drake Parker’s band was the greatest advertiser for my design skills, carrying them all over the world of pop rock obsessed fans, from Los Angeles to Russia. 

But what would become of all of my pals at Pacific Coast Academy? 

Chase Matthews and Addie Singer would spend the rest of their time at Pacific Coast Academy together, and then move on to the Broadway upon an invitation by Sofia Michelle. They would revolutiones the level of Broadway plays and musicals like nobody before in the history of this theatre. 

Logan Reese would forever be the jerk that he had always been, but with Trina Vega as his loving wife, he would keep his fingers off innocent girls. He would also work as a supermodel for the presentation of my collection for men. 

Michael Barret would finally give up on all those girls that just had bought him lots of embarrassment, including especially pop star **Lisa Perkins** ,3:56 a completely absurd and unsuited crush of his, and stick to a girl exactly in his league: Wendy Gellar, aforementioned girl in Dustin’s classes that had gone through a similar humiliations by hankering after boys like Drake Parker. 

Lola Martinez would really make her first Oscar at the age of nineteen with the latest Malcolm Reese production. Many other Oscars would follow thereupon. 

Quinn Pensky and her husband Simon Cook would harvest gazillions of Nobel Prizes for all kinds of sciences. 

Nicole Bristow would graduate from Los Angeles Cocational College For The Beautician Trades and take over the barber’s shop of Orenthal Cornelius Gibson’s grandfather3:57

Dana Cruz would try to become the first female player of the National Football League, but, failing that, she would migrate with her husband Vince Blake to South America and become the stars of the freshly founded Bolivian American-Style Football League. 

Stacey and Josh would go to Seattle’s vocational college for the construction trades, and then take over the carpentry of Fredward Benson’s uncle.3:58

Wayne Gilbert and Mindy Crenshaw would build a rocket and become the first humans on the Mars. 

Dustin would Carly would grow slowly together and last forever thereafter. 

So, what about myself and my future fashion lines? 

Well, my return from Europe made me not only reunite with my beloved Crony, who, inspite of having seen that I was a cute girl, would still treat me forever with the respect that was due for a moon goddess. 

And maybe this was not as unreal as I would have thought it to be years ago ... after all: what was real? Takato? The moon goddess? So many other things were in flux, why not the boundary between the real and the supernatural? 

With a partner like Crony, fashion design was thrice as great and cool. 

But in order to be able to build my own line, I needed some other reinforcement: 

This was aforementioned True Jackson from Manhattan. She was the best friend of aforementioned Lulu, whose boyfriend **Mikey Jay**3:59 was Nevel’s friend and colleague in some orchestra at that time. 

We would open a fashion shop in Malibu, with the headquarters located in a room with my favourite number: One - oh - one! 

_**THE END** _

* * *

3:1
     from _Bucket & Skinner_ _’_ _s Epic Adventures_
3:2
     from _Drake & Josh_: _Treehouse_ and _Zoey 101_ : _Favor Chain_
3:3
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Surprise_ et alibi 
3:4
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Back At PCA_ et alibi 
3:5
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Silver Hammers_
3:6
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Surprise_
3:7
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _The Play_
3:8
     from _The iCarly Show_ : _iFight Shelby Marx_
3:9
     from _Zoey 101_
3:10
     cf. _Drake & Josh_: _The Grammie_
3:11
     from _The iCarly Show_
3:12
     from _Big Time Rush_ : _Big Time Demo_ , also Missy Meanie from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_
3:13
     from _Chasing Zoey_
3:14
     both carl from _Zoey 101_ : _Hot Dean_ et alibi, and Bubba from _Unfabulous_
3:15
     from _Zoey 101_ : _The Great Vince Blake_ et alibi 
3:16
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Quarantine_
3:17
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Quarantine_ , borrowing the surname from the actress’s part in some work by a third party 
3:18
    From _Quarantine_
3:19
     cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iWant My Website Back_! 
3:20
     cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iSpy A Mean Teacher_
3:21
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Quarantine_ , identified with parts of the same author in other shows 
3:22
    for prompt _Rough_
3:23
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Zoey’s Tutor_ and _Michael Loves Lisa_
3:24
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Zoey’s Tutor_ vs, _Zoey 101_ : _Silver Hammers_
3:25
     cf. _Drake & Josh_: _Megan’s New Teacher_
3:26
     from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_
3:27
     cf. _Drake & Josh_: _Football_! 
3:28
     cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iToe Fatcakes_
3:29
     cf. _Drake & Josh_: _Megan’s First Kiss_
3:30
     from _Victorious_ : _Tori Goes Platinum_
3:31
     cf. _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_ : _Getting Organised_
3:32
     from _Shredderman Rules!_
3:33
     from _Zoey 101_ : _The Great Vince Blake_
3:34
     from _The iCarly Show_
3:35
     from _The iCarly Show_
3:36
     from _The iCarly Show_
3:37
     from _Unfabulous_
3:38
     from _Supah Ninjas_
3:39
     all three from _True Jackson VP_
3:40
     from _Zoey 101_ : _The Great Vince Blake_
3:41
     both sara from _Zoey 101_ : _Silver Hammers_ and Kyla from _True Jackson VP_ : _Flirting With Fame_
3:42
     from _The iCarly Show_ : _iLook Alike_
3:43
     from _True Jackson VP_
3:44
     cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Pilot_
3:45
     from _Zoey 101_ : _The Curse Of PCA_
3:46
     cf. _Drake & Josh_: _First Crush_
3:47
     from _Zoey 101_ : _The Curse Of PCA_
3:48
     cf. _Drake & Josh_: _Three Idiots And A Baby_
3:49
     cf. _Drake & Josh_: _Number One Fan_
3:50
     for prompt _Appease_
3:51
     from _Victorious_
3:52
     from _Ned_ _’_ _s Declassified School Survival Guide_ , esp. _School Newspapers_
3:53
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Wrestling_
3:54
     from _Zoey 101_ : _Chase’s Grandma_
3:55
     from _Victorious_ : _Crazy Pony_
3:56
     from _Michael Loves Lisa_ et alibi 
3:57
     from _The iCarly Show_ : _iGot A Hot Room_
3:58
     person mentioned in _The iCarly Show_ : _iHatch Chicks_
3:59
     from _True Jackson VP_


End file.
